Barefoot Investor’s advice for family quoted $48k for plumbing disaster they did not cause
An anxious boy mum thinks her son’s girlfriend is taking him for a ride because he looks after her kid and does all the cooking. Barefoot Investor has some powerful advice.
Barry pushed his phone across the table. Twenty-five stocks. Companies he couldn’t name.
“ChatGPT picked every single one”, he said.
“I’m crushing it.”
I was having dinner with a mate I’ll call Barry … and Barry has gone balls and all into AI.
In fact, these days it’s hard to work out where Barry starts and ChatGPT ends.
Solving climate change?
“AI.”
Write a work email that makes you sound like you care?
“AI.”
Constipated?
“Mate, have you tried asking ChatGPT about fibre intake?”
“Do you even know what these businesses do?” I quizzed him. He stared at me blankly.
“Let me just ask ChatGPT …”
“Enough!” I cried.
“Mate, you reckon your AI can pick winners? Fine. Let’s bet. Your ChatGPT portfolio vs my boring portfolio of index funds. Ten years. Loser buys dinner every month for a year.”
I don’t need an AI to tell me the answer, I know I’m a shoe-in. That’s because years ago I sat in Omaha and watched Buffett make basically the same bet with a Wall Street hotshot. His basic, no-frills index fund versus Wall Street’s elite hedge funds.
Ten years later?
Total bloodbath. Buffett 126 per cent, hedge funds 3 per cent to 88 per cent.
Why am I so sure I’ll win Barry’s bet?
First, Barry can’t help himself. His AI’s already told him a crash is coming twice this year. He’s traded in and out like a day trader with a crystal ball. The more he trades, the less he’ll make.
Second, he’s not special. Everyone has ChatGPT. If the magic lamp actually worked, we’d all be rich. Which means nobody would be.
Third, Barry thinks he’s discovered the future. But he’s actually just automated his worst impulses.
Here’s the thing that ChatGPT fails at:
Getting rich isn’t about being clever. Its about resisting the urge to be clever.
See you in 10 years, Barry. I’ll take my steak medium rare.
Tread Your Own Path!
My Son’s Girlfriend is a Tramp
Scott,
My son’s girlfriend decided to move in with him. I suggested a cohabitation agreement, only to hear it is too expensive ($2000 according to them). He has no debt. His girlfriend has $71,000 study debt and a five-year-old child. She drives a big family 4x4 vehicle. My son drives an entry-level Suzuki. The young child’s father does not pay maintenance – Mum’s choice.
My son earns more than her, but all expenses and debt are split 50/50. She is doing further study (thankfully her employer is paying for it), so she has limited time after a day’s work. So my son does the housework, cooks, bathes and feeds the child while working full-time. I might be a pedantic mother, and I understand that times have changed, but I still see red flags!
Helen
Hi Helen,
It sounds like you think your boy’s new girl is a tramp.
That being said, this is not her first rodeo, and she didn’t trample her baby’s daddy.
So there’s that going for her.
The real question isn’t whether they need a $2000 legal document. It’s whether they’ve actually talked about what ‘fair’ means when one person brings debt, a child, and a 4x4 to a household where the other person brings income, a Suzuki, and all the cooking skills.
A cohabitation agreement forces that conversation – not just because it’s legally binding, but because sitting across from a solicitor makes it impossible to dodge the hard questions: What happens if you split? Who pays her debt? What’s his role with the child? How do you divide assets when one person comes in with debts?
Here’s an analogy you may want to suggest to your son: You don’t expect to prang your Hilux but you still get insurance, because the financial and emotional ramifications could be catastrophic.
The real power of hanging out with people who bill by the minute is getting clarity should things go from “I love you” to “I’m in the dog box” to “I’m keeping the dog”.
Disclosure: I chose not to get a prenup with my wife, despite my lawyer begging me to the same way a labrador begs for a sausage.
Why?
Because I went all in.
Maybe your son has too.
That’s his call to make, not yours. Even if watching him make it keeps you up at night.
The $500 Kid’s Birthday Party
Scott,
Kids’ birthday parties have become ridiculous productions – themed decorations, catering, gift bags – and now parents are expected to bring presents for every child attending. We used to do cake and backyard games. Now it’s stressful and expensive, and teaching kids that birthdays are about stuff instead of joy and friends. How do we step off this treadmill without being the odd ones out?
Jen
Hi Jen,
My four-year-old was super excited about Grandad’s 76th birthday last week.
He got on FaceTime and innocently asked:
“What party games did you play, Grandad?”
“Oh? Erm, well, it was just a quiet day with Gran and I …”
I have four kids and, yes, it’s got out of control. Here’s what’s happened: parents have started matching party costs to gift costs. Yet it’s an arms race nobody signed up for.
Your kids don’t care. They want their mates there. That’s it.
So, hold the party at the local park. Sausage sizzle. One game. Cake from Coles. Booze for the parents. Three packets of mixed lollies in paper bags as they leave (revenge is a sugar high in someone else’s car).
Doneski.
What’s stopping you?
You’re scared of being judged by the other parents. Or even deeper … of your kids being judged.
“Why didn’t we have the Encanto themed party where everyone got themed party gifts?”
Here’s the truth: that won’t happen. Your kid will be laughing with their mates, eating sausages, and having a ball. And you’ll have saved yourself $500 and three hours of stress.
We Are in the Poo
Dear Scott,
Three days ago my husband rang to say sewage was pouring out of our basic 70s suburban Melbourne house. A plumber quoted $48,000 plus GST to dig 2.5 metres down under our old cubbyhouse to fix the blockage.
By the time I got home, my hubby had paid a small deposit. Sewage was flooding the neighbour’s place and the street gutter. We pissed on the lawn that night. Next morning our youngest had a baby wipe shower and pooed into a plastic bag-lined bucket before his school production.
The plumber returned and pressured my husband into a payment plan, and then cornered me. He literally grabbed my phone when his ‘interest free’ app wouldn’t load. I saw the finance company ‘Humm’ and remembered your warnings, but I had major surgery booked at work (I’m a vet) and had to leave.
After performing the surgery and euthanising a dog with an inoperable tumour, I came home to find a Portaloo being delivered. No digger had arrived, just a bloke with a shovel.
Thursday morning I noticed water still flowing despite no taps running. I was convinced it was coming from neighbours uphill. The plumber dismissed me. I rang Yarra Valley Water. The blockage was in the communal sewer over our fence, not our property. Yet the plumber kept digging.
When my husband questioned the plumber, a ‘chief’ arrived demanding a 30 per cent cancellation fee. My hubby’s distraught. The ‘chief’ returns Monday at 9am for our decision.
We’ve already sold shares to pay. What do we do?
Belinda
Hey Belinda
Look, scammers are experts in exploiting people when the crap hits the fan (or in your case the neighbour’s yard). Still, I’m sure your husband feels embarrassed and ashamed.
However, you likely have a 10-day cooling-off period, and the 30 per cent break fee is probably unenforceable (they can only charge actual costs incurred).
Let him know that I think sorting this out will be as simple as cleaning the dunny after a seven-year old’s slumber party (plug your nose, grab some Pine O Clean, apply some elbow grease).
First, cancel their services via email immediately – state that you’re exercising your cooling-off right.
Second, contact Humm finance: tell them you’re disputing the contract and want the finance cancelled. If they give you any pushback, contact me and I’ll call them.
Third, get two other quotes (and get on to Yarra Valley Water) and prove the $48,000 is inflated.
Finally, Consumer Affairs Victoria (1300 558 181), and Consumer Action Law Centre on (03) 9670 5088, for official advice on dealing with this diarrhoea.
My guess? Most scammers get the trots when they see you roll up your sleeves and quote your rights.
It’s time to flush these turds!
DISCLAIMER: Information and opinions provided in this column are general in nature and have been prepared for educational purposes only. Always seek personal financial advice tailored to your specific needs before making financial and investment decisions.
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Originally published as Barefoot Investor’s advice for family quoted $48k for plumbing disaster they did not cause
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