Why can't the stars say sorry? Serena Williams, Kanye West, Kyle Sandiands under fire

THERE'S been a lot to be sorry about in a week where we had Kanye West, Serena Williams and Kyle Sandilands give us insights into celebrity contrition.

Serena Williams, Kyle Sandilands and Kanye West.

THERE'S been a lot to be sorry about recently, in a week which had rapper Kanye West, tennis player Serena Williams and part-time radio host/full-time apologist Kyle Sandilands provide us with insights into celebrity contrition.

Gallery - Serena Williams' outburst

Not since Henry Winkler's The Fonz on Happy Days _ who never admitted he was w-w-w-rong _ have public figures struggled so much with so few words and yet found a way to do so on so many media platforms.

Let's begin with Williams, who chose a dramatic way to dispute match point at the US Open, when she offered to floss the back teeth of a lineswoman by thrusting tennis balls down her throat.

Not exactly ladylike, but as the "professional" explained in the first of three public statements made on the human violation, it wasn't anything to apologise for _ simply an exhibition of "the passion I have for my job".

With the benefit of "time to gain my composure'' Williams had an overnight epiphany: not that she was wrong, but that she'd "let my passion and emotion get the better of me and as a result handled the situation poorly".

That out of the way, Williams turned the charm up a notch by thanking fans "for understanding that I am human and I look forward to continuing the journey, both professionally and personally, with you all as I move forward and grow from this experience".

Fast forward 24 hours, and Williams wasn't done "amend[ing] my press statement of yesterday," to "make it as clear as possible" she ``sincerely apologise[d] FIRST to the lines woman, Kim Clijsters, the USTA and mostly tennis fans everywhere for my inappropriate outburst". The next part is priceless: "I'm a woman of great pride, faith and integrity and I admit when I'm wrong."

Gallery - Kanye West pulls an MTV swifty

Gallery - Kanye, cool or a tool?

Especially when you've been shamed into acting with such "integrity" and you've got a new memoir to sell.
Not to be outdone, singer Kanye West held court of a different kind at the MTV Music Awards, when he stole the spotlight from Taylor Swift. Swift had just won the best music video, but it was West who made a prize fool of himself, leaping on stage to tell the audience what we already knew: that he's a boorish idiot, with too high an opinion of his own opinion.

The hissing crowd booed him off stage and straight onto his blog where he wrote the first of two rambling excuses.

"I am in the wrong for going on stage and taking away from [Taylor's] moment," he said, before adding this 'but',
"Beyonce's video was the best of this decade''.

Not content to leave it at that hashed effort, he popped up on The Jay Leno Show for a second stab at civility. "It was rude, period," West said.

Except, there was no full stop to that, continuing to justify his crappy behaviour by evoking the memory of his dead mother and excusing himself in the name of grief.

It took him four days and a few more postings on his blog to actually apologise to Swift directly, which she accepted with good grace _ albeit revealing the private conversation during an interview on US radio.

The fact they share the same publicist should not cast doubt over the drama, nor the sincerity of the apology finally extracted like a bad tooth from West. No really.

Gallery- Kyle and Tamara

Gallery - Kyle and Jackie O scandals

And then there was Sandilands, who didn't so much as say sorry as get the two puppets he calls Austereo bosses to issue a statement which cited his alleged "concern and remorse" after telling Magda Szubanski she should lose weight in a concentration camp.

You've got to give the gobby lug his props _ he said all that without actually moving his lips, or writing a word, leaving it to the company men to offer his excuses.

But he's apologised so many times before, we know he means it, right?

It was only last month he said this about publicly humiliating a teenage rape victim on live radio _ and I for one believed him.

"An apology is an apology. I've apologised to anyone that it offended. I apologised to the girl. Who am I going to line up? If you want an apology, I'm happy to do it."

I'm sorry to say, it doesn't get more heartfelt than that.