Walking with Dinosaurs is visually spectacular but if only they just walked the walk and baulked the talk
The visual aspect of Walking With Dinosaurs is nothing short of spectacular but it's weighed down by goofy high-jinks and inane banter.
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Rating: 2 stars
Directors: Barry Cook, Neil Nightingale
Starring: The voices of John Leguizamo, Justin Long, Skyler Stone, Tiya Sircar
LET'S go with the good news first. The visual aspect of Walking With Dinosaurs is nothing short of spectacular.
When seen in 3D, it is perfectly clear from the outset that the plentiful prehistoric prettiness will not pose a problem throughout.
The advances made in computer animation since 1999 - the original broadcast date for the landmark BBC nature series from which this movie has been adapted - are there for all to see and enjoy.
Now for the bad news. What we come to hear in Walking With Dinosaurs is not so enjoyable at all.
Cutting straight to the Cretaceous chase, the dinosaurs in this motion picture can talk. Worse still, they speak as if they have been roaming the vast car parks of modern American shopping malls, as opposed to the lush open plains of a faraway yesteryear.
Though their mouths don't move much - if at all - these down-with-it dinos have never met a fart, poop or butt reference they didn't like.
You and your kids better like 'em, or your family just might find themselves fossilised on the spot.
OK, then. Is there a story?
Kind of.
Our narrator, a rather irritating bird voiced by John Leguizamo, yaps us through the adventures of Patchi (Justin Long), a young Triceratops with a hole in his headplate.
Patchi is a bit of a runt, but is one of those characters who will grow in stature as he discovers strength and courage that belies his size, etc, etc.
The tribal herd to which Patchi and his big brother Scowler (Skyler Stone) are allied are continually migrating this way and that as the seasons dictate, occasionally crossing paths with ill-tempered dangerous types like the Gorgosaurus (a nimbler, nastier cousin of the T. Rex).
If you've seen any of the Ice Age movies, you've seen this kind of kiddie-friendly thing done much, much better.
Though a meek effort has been made to sometimes introduce an educational component to proceedings - no doubt to please the owners of the Walking With ... brand - it isn't long before it's back to the goofy high-jinks and inane banter.