Mum and girlfriend in court after Jeremy Plooy motorcycle death

A mother has lost a bitter row with her dead son’s girlfriend over whether she should be named on his death certificate as his defacto partner.

A mother has lost a bitter row with her dead son’s girlfriend over whether she should be named on his death certificate as his defacto partner.

Student nurse Jeremy Plooy, 39, was killed in a motorcycle crash on the Bruxner Highway at Alstonville in the state’s north in August 2018 and his mother, Carol Myers, applied to the Registry of Births Deaths and Marriages to have his girlfriend, Nicole Mensinga, removed from his death certificate.

Ms Myers said she was “just” another of her son’s serial girlfriends, he was only living with her because it was “convenient”, and in fact he spent many nights at his mother’s home where his dog lived.

She said her son had a vasectomy and considered himself to be a “man without responsibilities and free to do whatever he wished”.

She said Ms Mensinga shared none of Jeremy’s interests of music, surfing and fishing, had not contributed to his funeral expenses and claimed her son had told her Ms Mensinga was “friggin needy”, according to a judgment handed down in the NSW Civil and Administrative Tribunal on Monday.

Jeremy Plooy died in August 2018.

Carol Myers applied to have his girlfriend removed from his death certificate.

At stake was not only the state of the relationships but more than $550,000 in superannuation which has been paid to Ms Mensinga as a dependent spouse after the Australian Financial Complaints Authority rejected a complaint by Ms Myers.

Ms Mensinga had also put in a CTP claim over his death.

Ms Myers had appealed against the decision by the registry to refuse to change the death certificate and the tribunal has ruled against her.

It found in favour of Ms Mensinga, 43, who told them that she and Mr Plooy had been together for 16 months and were a “loving couple who were planning their life together”.

Ms Myers’ ex-husband, Jeremy’s father Pieter Plooy, told the tribunal that he believed his son and Ms Mensinga were indeed in a de facto relationship and that she was entitled to the benefits of his estate.

“He says that his other children were telling him that Jeremy was happy in the relationship with Nicole,” the tribunal said.

Friends described them as a loving couple and Mr Plooy had described himself as her “de facto” in a letter he wrote supporting a compensation claim after she hurt her shoulder at work. Ms Myers said her son told her he wished he hadn’t because the claim was not true.

They had signed another year’s lease on their rented home not long before his death.

“It … appears that, following Jeremy’s death, tensions between Nicole and Jeremy’s family rose sharply over conflict about her status vis-à-vis that of his mother,” senior tribunal member Peter Molony said.

He said Ms Mensinga had been in financial difficulties at the time of the funeral. Until his death, she had been “warmly welcomed” into his family, he said.

“While Jeremy’s family questions his dedication and commitment to the relationship, because of things they say he said about it, his conduct in continuing to live with and support Nicole is consistent with him being committed to the relationship, despite his gripes about it,” Mr Molony said.

Emergency services at the scene of the fatal crash involving Jeremy Plooy’s motorbike.

The scene of the crash near the intersection of the Bruxner highway and Ballina Road at Alstonville.

“There are no children of the relationship nor is there a suggestion that any were planned. Carol’s assertion that Jeremy had a vasectomy during the relationship points to the issue of children being settled. I do not accept that Jeremy having a vasectomy is evidence that he was not in a de facto relationship with Nicole.

“I do not accept that a man who has had serial live-in relationships with a number of “girlfriends” over the years, would continue to commit to and bind himself to (by signing a fresh tenancy agreement) a relationship that is hard work, demanding and costing him money, if he were not committed to it.

“I am not satisfied that the particulars which Carol seeks to have changed in Jeremy’s death certificate, should be changed. Nicole was Jeremy’s de facto partner.”