Sisters in Law: How to protect your privacy from your ex

A South Australian woman has been horrified by her ex-husband’s invasion of her privacy and doesn’t know how to make him stop.

Welcome to Sisters In Law, news.com.au’s weekly column solving all of your legal problems. This week, our resident lawyers and real-life sisters Alison and Jillian Barrett from Maurice Blackburn advise on how to protect your privacy from a snooping ex.

Question:

I separated from my husband last year and we’re just finalising the terms of our divorce. We no longer live together and I’ve started dating other people. I saw my ex a few weeks ago and he made a sly dig about one of the guys I was seeing and it made me wonder how he knew about him.

After a bit of detective work later I realised my Facebook account was still connected to my ex-husband’s iPad and he’d been reading my private messages – some of which were steamy. My ex denies it but it’s the only way to explain how he knew about my new man.

How can I make my ex log out of my account and is there anything I can do about him invading my privacy? – Kara, Vic

How can I make my ex log out of my account? Picture: iStock

Answer:

We understand this would be quite distressing Kara to feel that your ex-husband has invaded your privacy.

Even though your ex has denied it, the good news is that you can obtain proof of activity on your account. You can review your “Logged Actions and Other Activity”, including any active sessions via your Activity log in your Settings and Privacy controls. This will show on what device/s you are logged in, and when they were accessed.

You should immediately change your password on your account and log out of all devices via the active sessions option on Facebook. You can do this from your own device, and don’t have to get access to your ex’s iPad.

You’ve mentioned that some of the messages were ‘steamy’. If the messages included images of an intimate nature and he has distributed these, or threatened to distribute them then that may be a criminal offence and you should speak to the police.

“Distributing” or “threatening to distribute” isn’t just limited to your ex posting images on social media or emailing your friends/ family, it also includes showing the images to his mates at work or the pub.

Depending on the circumstances, you may need to speak to the police. Picture: iStock

Some other tips to protect your privacy can include:

1. Disable any location sharing or GPS tracking on your phone, such as Find My app from Apple or Family Sharing.

2. Creating a new email account.

3. Change all of your passwords and use pass phrases that will be difficult for them to guess, or a password generator app that randomly generates a code, rather than pets or family members names.

4. Enable two-factor authentication – this requires two ways of proving your identity, such as your password and then a code texted to your phone.

5. Change passwords on any smart speakers as these could be connected to your ex’s devices and may be capable of unlocking doors or giving information.

6. Changing your security questions on websites such as your bank as often your ex will know your mother’s maiden name, first pet’s name, or where you were born.

Change all of your passwords and use pass phrases that will be difficult for them to guess. Picture: iStock

You can also reach out to the eSafety Commissioner, the Australia Cyber Security Centre or importantly the police for further advice or assistance, particularly if you ever feel your safety may be at risk.

This legal information is general in nature and should not be regarded as specific legal advice or relied upon. Persons requiring particular legal advice should consult a solicitor.

If you have a legal question you would like Alison and Jillian to answer, please email [e-mail]

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Originally published as Sisters in Law: How to protect your privacy from your ex