Could this be the world’s most adorable telemarketer?

WE’RE sick and tired of relentless telemarketing calls. But if this tiny guy was on the other end of the line, would you buy what he was selling?

WE ALL hate telemarketers. They call right in the middle of lunch or during the busiest time of the day and they usually plug crap that makes absolutely no sense or material difference to our lives.

I happen to hate telemarketers so much that I appointed myself the unofficial spokeswoman for the recently established Australians Who Hate Telemarketers (AWHT) and wrote all about it a few days ago.

Everyone agrees that 9 times out of 10 telemarketers will ruin your day.

But, what if that telemarketer was a tiny gold dust day gecko?

Oh.

Well, I mean, they’re really cute, so yeah … I dunno, I could probably spare a few minutes to chat.

Thanks to the Ke Kai Ola Marine Mammal Hospital in Hawaii, we are about to be introduced to the world’s most adorable telemarketer who could teach us all to love and accept the strangers who persistently blow up our phones…possibly. Probably not.

This is Dr Claire Simeone. She is a seal doctor. Picture: Marine Mammal Center

Hospital director and seal expert Doctor Claire Simeone took to Twitter last week after receiving a string of anonymous calls she assumed were from an annoying telemarketer, for whom she had absolutely no time.

“So yesterday I started getting calls at our hospital,” Dr Simeone wrote.

“I was getting lunch, so I thought maybe someone had a seal-related question.”

The good doctor picked up the phone but was greeted with an eerie silence. No introductions, no discounts on funeral cover, no heavy breathing, just silence.

More calls. NINE calls in 15 minutes. I start to panic a bit, and drive back to the hospital. Seal emergency? I am on it. pic.twitter.com/qtjc2ZK68d

— Dr. Claire Simeone (@Claire_Simeone) October 5, 2018

When she received no response, Dr Simeone hung up, but was called straight back by the creepy stranger.

Whatever telemarketing company this was, their silent marketing strategy clearly wasn’t working because she kept hanging up them.

But this industrious stranger was not giving up easily, and called Dr Simeone back nine times in the space of 15 minutes.

“I start to panic a bit, and drive back to the hospital. Seal emergency? I am on it,” she wrote.

Dr Simeone arrived back at the hospital to complete calm, which seemed even more strange.

Another call came through.

“It’s coming from INSIDE the hospital,” she wrote.

This is starting to get seriously creepy and feels a lot like we’re approaching the climax of a horror film, starring a seal doctor and an extremely persistent telemarketer.

This is not Dr Simeone, but I imagine this is what her face would have looked like at this point of the story.

Dr Simeone called her telco provider to see if her phone was “on the fritz”.

“Meanwhile, several other people call the hospital, asking, WHY WE ARE CALLING THEM INCESSANTLY?”

The telco man told Dr Simeone it “might be an issue with one of our phones” or the software installed at the hospital.

“He confirms that, yes, a bazillion calls are coming from one line,” she wrote.

“But I look at our office line. It’s not that one. He asks me to look around to find the problem line”.

This is the part of the movie where you’re probably screaming at the screen, telling the seal doctor not to search the hospital because the silent telemarketer could be waiting behind any door, with offers to wipe her entire credit history if she signs up to his life insurance scheme.

“I walk around the hospital. Not the fish kitchen. Not the office. Not the viewing room. I get another call from (the telco man) on my cell. I enter the laboratory. That’s the line! I approach the phone …”

I walk around the hospital. Not the fish kitchen. Not the office. Not the viewing room. I get another call from @TMMC on my cell. I enter the laboratory. That’s the line! I approach the phone... pic.twitter.com/CBym9fY01H

— Dr. Claire Simeone (@Claire_Simeone) October 5, 2018

There, perched on top of the desk phone, was a tiny gold dust day gecko, clearly exhausted from hitting the phones since the crack of dawn.

As expected, Dr Simeone absolutely loses it.

“THERE IS A GECKO SITTING ON THE TOUCHSCREEN OF THE PHONE, MAKING CALLS WITH HIS TINY GECKO FEET!” Dr Simeone wrote.

Not only did this doctor receive about 15 anonymous calls from an entrepreneurial gecko, but so did hundreds of other hospital clients across Hawaii.

It has not yet been confirmed what exactly the gecko was selling.

THERE IS A GECKO SITTING ON THE TOUCHSCREEN OF THE PHONE, MAKING CALLS WITH HIS TINY GECKO FEET!!! This gecko has called me 15 times, and everyone in our recent call list. *Actual photo of telemarketer* @TMMC @GEICO @HawaiianTel pic.twitter.com/USyKeOiDbE

— Dr. Claire Simeone (@Claire_Simeone) October 5, 2018

It really goes to show that size doesn’t matter, and even if your feet are so adhesive you need help to remove them from the keypad, you too, can become a telemarketer if you truly believe in yourself.

As for Dr Simeone, she had to apologise to the telco man for the confusion, who informed her: “Well, I haven’t heard that one before.”

“I had to send out a note to all of our staff and volunteers, who may have received telemarketing calls,” she wrote.

“I immediately hired gecko.”

Whatever you’re selling, I’ll have three of them.

Hopefully the gecko raises major funds for the Marine Mammal Centre and is given an immediate promotion (which includes an office and an assistant to make the calls for him in future).

Originally published as Could this be the world’s most adorable telemarketer?