Surfing great Layne Beachley explains how it is crucial for people to open up on their problems
When champion surfer Layne Beachley found herself trapped by dark feelings it was reaching out to a friend for help that turned her life around, writes Jessica Halloran.
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There was a time when Layne Beachley used to wake up and think of ways to end her life. This time came at the start of the surfer’s career, just two years before Beachley went on to win the first of her seven world titles.
Beachley, an R U OK? suicide prevention ambassador, is speaking about the most frightening time in her life to remind others to be open about their emotional battles and to seek help.
“To wake up thinking of different ways to kill myself versus waking up thinking of different ways to contribute to society, to make this a great day, that was scary,” Beachley tells this column.
The catalyst for the darkness that overcame her 22 years ago was chronic fatigue syndrome. Her dreams of becoming a world champion were halted by this illness, which left her sleeping 14 hours a day.
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In the morning she would wake, look out the window, see the sun, think to herself she might “get out” but would only make it as far as the kitchen. Making breakfast would exhaust her. She’d sit on the couch for the rest of the day, mindlessly watching TV. She says she had “no energy in any cell” of her body.
For an energetic person with a love for life, this debilitating illness left her housebound and pushed her into depression.
That she couldn’t find an answer to fix her illness drove her further into a state of despair.
She couldn’t surf, train or travel, and she barely saw the sunshine.
“I lacked the ability to maintain a sense of motivation and concentration over a period of time,” Beachley said. “I was really down on myself.”
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In turn, Beachley shut out friends and family being negative towards them too.
“I didn’t really give anyone an opportunity to call me on it because I wasn’t willing to face it myself,” Beachley said.
So how did she get through it?
“After about four months feeling like this, I realised this could lead to very severe consequences, so I chose to ring a friend,” Beachley said. “Phone a friend!”
That friend was former swimmer turned TV broadcaster and presenter Johanna Griggs.
Griggs, herself, had suffered from CFS and she knew its hell.
“What took you so long?” Griggs said to Beachley the day she finally called to ask for help.
Griggs, who today is a Beyond Blue board member, remembers the moment well.
“I knew she had been pushing herself to try and get better from CFS and was down because she wasn’t improving,” Griggs said.
“People are so afraid to have that initial conversation, afraid they are going to be judged, or not believed, but as soon as you start the conversation and have the support, it can help you immensely.”
It was Griggs who steered Beachley towards a naturopath to help her fatigue and professional counselling to help her mental state.
A few months after reaching out to Griggs, Beachley also worked on other parts of her life that had troubled her.
Beachley learnt at eight years old that she was adopted and so she did some “emotional work” doing “rebirthing” therapy — a technique using breath work to open her mind to unexplored feelings and to give her more clarity.
“I chose to feel a deep sense of worthlessness when I learnt I was adopted,” she said “But after getting help, I treated myself with a little bit more love, kindness and compassion.”
She started journaling a lot more often, too, just to get the thoughts out of her head. Beachley reconnected with a social network she had turned away from.
Beachley says it is important for people to be OK with being vulnerable, to open up on their issues and problems to their friends, and points out this a key message ahead of R U OK? Day this Thursday.
“It all starts with the courage to have the conversation,” she said. “If you can’t have the conversation with yourself, it’s important to have someone in your life that has the courage to ask you, ‘are you OK?’.
“You must have the vulnerability to truly, openly and honestly acknowledge how you are feeling.
“If you are not OK, that is 100 per cent OK.”
Today she does a lot of motivational speaking about how to overcome challenges and is now chair of Surfing Australia. She also hosts workshops to help people transform their lives.
In recent years Beachley has noticed the impact of social media on athletes. When she went to the London Olympic Games in 2012 as an athlete liaison officer, she saw how an athlete’s interaction with social media affected their performance.
“For example, we witnessed swimmer Emily Seebohm’s disappointment and how she admitted to being distracted by Facebook and Twitter, and how it may have contributed to missing out on gold.
“Alternatively, we saw Anna Meares and Sally Pearson both win gold medals choosing to disengage from social media three months before London.”
Beachley adds: “Some base their self-worth on how many likes they receive or how much engagement from social media, but that’s not true love or connection. It’s not true or meaningful communication.”
As well as encouraging people to focus on the quality of their own personal health and wellbeing, she said it’s important to choose your friendships wisely.
“We become the sum of the top five people we surround ourselves with. Our lives don’t lie. If you are not happy with the quality of your life or self, then take a look at what you are surrounding yourself with.”
If you need to talk, phone Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800.