Rugby union 2022: Michael Hooper reveals heartbreak at quitting Wallabies to beat mental demons

Revered as one of the bravest in the game, Wallabies star Michael Hooper has revealed how mental health was tearing him apart — but would lead to one of his most heroic acts.

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - MAY 11: Michael Hooper of the Wallabies poses during a media opportunity as the Wallabies unveil their 2022 International jersey at St John's Catholic School on May 11, 2022 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Matt King/Getty Images)

Michael Hooper has broken his silence to reveal for the first time the heartbreak behind his brave decision to quit the Wallabies and the Australian captaincy earlier this year.

Hooper’s courage under fire has never been in question during his long service in the Australian gold jersey, but by his own account, asking for help was one of the hardest things he’s ever had to do.

A fearless warrior on the field, the notion of deserting his teammates before a Test match went against everything Hooper believed in, which made his decision to leave this year’s tour of Argentina for his mental health one of the most heroic plays he’s ever made.

“As a younger man, I have viewed asking for help as a bit of weakness,” Hooper said in his first interview since leaving the national team.

“You want to feel like you have it all worked out and I certainly didn‘t.

“It was hard. I mean, I‘ve got high expectations for myself and pulling out of a game is certainly right up there with something I couldn’t have seen myself doing.”

Hugely respected in the international game, Hooper received overwhelming praise and support for making a decision few people saw coming.

Michael Hooper has opened up on his decision to leave this year’s tour of Argentina in an effort to overcome mental health issues.

The open side flanker revealed that he has been struggling with his mental health for a while but after recently becoming a father, everything came to a head when he was absent from his family in South America.

A seasoned international traveller, the 30-year-old immediately realised this was more than just homesickness, so he asked to be immediately released so he could return home and get help.

“There was a lot of things running through my head that sort of showed up in Argentina and Argentina wasn‘t the place where I needed or was able to sort those things out,” he said.

“I wanted to be around family, I wanted to be in a place that I could put the time into those things that I need to put in.

“That doesn‘t mean I’m sitting here now completely cured. It’s not like that at all.

“It‘s just at that point in time, I needed to be somewhere else that wasn’t Argentina. I know that’s quite vague but I’m still getting my head around it.”

Despite all he’s put himself through physically during his decade in the Wallabies team, Hooper said his body was still in good shape but his mind was increasingly playing tricks on him as he starts to contemplate life after rugby.

“I want to be the best I can be for the team and I wasn‘t in that state of mind there to be able to do that,” he said.

Michael Hooper claims the call to leave behind his teammates was one of the hardest he has ever had to make.

“It was a difficult decision, but also quite a straightforward decision in the sense that I wasn‘t right. History’s history, what happened, happened.

“It kind of came around suddenly, (it was) probably exasperated, being overseas, away from home and stuff like that.”

Hooper skipped the entire Rugby Championship but he has made himself available for the Wallabies’ end of season tour to the northern hemisphere, which kicks off this weekend.

James Slipper has taken over as the new skipper, relieving Hooper of that extra burden.

In a candid teleconference call from Europe, Hooper revealed that he hasn’t put any expectations on how many matches he will play on the tour because he’s still unsure of how he’ll cope mentally.

“I‘m excited to be back at this stage but I’m also realistic, knowing that last time I was in here, it didn’t quite work out,” he said.

“I‘m putting myself in this position because I want to be here. I’ve got great support around me and I’m realistic that there’s going to be some really good days and there’s going to be some days that the realities of travel and rugby and stuff are difficult but I think that’s part of the whole journey.”

Michael Hooper and coach Dave Rennie celebrate after beating England in Perth in May.

Hooper did say however that he hoped to be a part of next year‘s World Cup in France but with a caveat as his new approach to the game was trying to live in the moment and not take things for granted by planning too far ahead.

“I want to get back and play rugby, enjoy my time on the field,” he said.

“Those experiences are amazing to be a part of but I‘m also realistic. You can get injured by going into a World Cup year and miss it.

“I‘ve tried to control a lot of how it would look for myself, which is part of the things that led to the situation I was in, trying to put undue control on things.

“The World Cup certainly is a great cherry but why I play is I love competing, I love being part of this team and that‘s not a forever thing.”

No more empty promises: Now or never for Wallabies

It is now or never for the Wallabies to stand up and show what they are really made of.

With less than 11 months to go before the start of the 2023 World Cup, there’s no time left to waste on more empty promises from coach Dave Rennie and his failing team.

The Wallabies need to accept full responsibility for their dismal performances and start turning things around right now, beginning with their upcoming European tour, or face another humiliating early exit from the game’s biggest tournament.

The 36-man Wallabies squad have five matches locked in for their Spring Tour to the northern hemisphere and should be aiming to win every one of them, even though they’ve already talked themselves down because of their high injury toll.

Australia’s long suffering fans have heard those tired old excuses before but it just doesn’t pass the pub test because injuries are part and parcel of professional rugby and losing should never be acceptable for anyone who pulls on the gold jersey.

Bernard Foley and his teammates need to deliver during their five-game Spring Tour.

The game’s loyal supporters aren’t stupid but they are still being treated as mugs by Rugby Australia and their brown-nosed apologists who keep pretending everything’s just fine when it clearly isn’t.

But the cold hard facts are that the current Wallabies are among the worst-performed teams ever to represent the country, and they only have themselves to blame.

The Wallabies have won just 11 of their 29 Tests, a winning strike-rate of less than 38%.

Since Rennie took over as coach three years ago, the Wallabies have won just 11 of their 29 Tests, a winning strike-rate of less than 38%, and have slumped to an all-time low of ninth in the world rankings.

But all is not lost yet because the everlasting beauty of international rugby means the Wallabies remain the masters of their own destiny.

They have shown occasional flashes of brilliance and history shows there’s enough time left to build a team capable of winning next year’s World Cup, but only if they are prepared to make the tough calls.

These include being brutally honest and taking ownership of their failures and fixing them before it’s too late.

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