Julian Linden: Sheer ineptitude of bungled New Zealand Rugby exposed after coaching call

New Zealand’s decision to name Scott Robertson as Ian Foster’s replacement from 2024 through to 2027, has guaranteed a no-win situation for the All Blacks, writes Julian Linden.

Dave Rennie and Ian Foster in September last year. Picture: Cameron Spencer/Getty Images

Sometimes, you just have to sit back and marvel at the sheer ineptitude of New Zealand Rugby.

Australia has plenty of cuckoo sporting bodies that have completely lost the plot but none that come close to NZR.

Not content with being one of the most arrogant sporting organisation on the planet, NZR have now staked a claim for being among the most delusional through their bungled handling of the All Blacks’ coaching position.

By naming Scott Robertson as Ian Foster’s replacement from 2024 through to 2027 - six months before this year’s World Cup - NZR have engineered one of the rarest moves in rugby: they’ve guaranteed themselves a no-win situation.

If the All Blacks go and win the World Cup — and they are currently joint favourites with Ireland — embarrassing questions will be asked about why Foster isn’t staying on.

And if the Kiwis don’t win the tournament, even tougher questions will be asked about why Robertson wasn’t given the job straight away instead of waiting until they blew the deal at the sport’s biggest tournament.

Scott Robertson is Ian Foster’s replacement. Picture: Marty Melville/AFP

In chess, ill-conceived moves that are certain to end in losses are known as Zugzwang, but in rugby it’s more commonly referred to as dropping the ball.

NZR’s justification for making the announcement before the World Cup is so absurd that it was a feat that anyone could say it out loud with a straight-face.

They claim they made the call now so any further speculation about the coaches’ job wouldn’t distract from the All Blacks’ World Cup campaign.

As NZR Board Chair Dame Patsy Reddy said: “The decision to appoint the next All Blacks Head Coach ahead of the Rugby World Cup was not taken lightly, but we believe it was the right decision for New Zealand Rugby and the All Blacks and will set the team up for future success.”

Good luck with that one!

Even the most fanatical All Blacks supporters aren’t falling for NZR’s corporate spin, which included a Freudian throwaway comment from Robertson himself, saying: “I can’t wait.”

Nor can the whole of New Zealand because the comical handling of the whole saga has driven Kiwis bonkers.

If New Zealand win the World Cup, embarrassing questions will be asked about why Ian Foster isn’t staying on. Picture: Phil Walter/Getty Images

At one point, the public was even asked to vote on whether the surf-loving Robertson - nicknamed Razor - should be allowed to continue his trademark breakdance celebration if he was given the job.

This is where New Zealand rugby finds itself right now.

For Australians, seeing the Kiwis shoot themselves in the foot like this is comedy gold so no-one is shedding a tear.

Rugby Australia has made so many goofy mistakes over the years that Wallabies’ fans could be forgiven that the game was being run by Mr Bean but the Kiwis have taken it to a new level this time because the problem with sittong on the fence is you end up with splinters.

And it could have all been avoided if NZR’s smug administrators had just taken a look over the side of the Tasman for a lesson in making decisive calls.

It bears remembering that it wasn’t that long ago when Rugby Australia was faced with the same dilemma after three years of disastrous results under Dave Rennie.

The moment Eddie Jones became available, RA had a simple but tough choice to make - but unlike the Kiwis, they got it right.