Dysfunctional Rugby Australia board now the laughing stock of sport after latest comedic farce

Not even Ricky Gervais could have scripted a more cringe-worthy show than what Australian rugby is dishing out. But after the momentous latest episode, it couldn’t get any worse, could it?

Paul McLean Brothers and Nudgee rugby great.

• Bright light at end of another tumultuous day for rugby
• Fiery email chain humiliates Australian rugby

In the latest episode of The Office: Australian Rugby, the new guy supposed to be running the company quit before his seat got warm, leaving the next guy a flaming desk to work on.

This award-winning comedy show is now in its sixth season and continues to defy critics with its fantastical and ridiculous plot twists.

There was Bill Pulver’s failed attempt in 2014 to have Kurtley Beale sacked over the Di Patston fiasco, in which it was revealed the former rugby staffer had told players she was a psychologist despite no training in the field, ultimately leading to the resignation of Wallabies coach Ewen McKenzie.

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The Di Patston saga started the ball rolling.

Then Cameron Clyne’s denials that Western Force had been marked for death in early 2017, followed by the infamous “48-72 hours” quote lumping in Melbourne Rebels onto the chopping block, only to confirm the Force’s demise from Super Rugby months later.

Then came the failure of Raelene Castle and her contracting staff to insert the necessary clauses into Israel Folau’s $5 million contract that opened up the ugliest sports employment battle in Australian history.

The laughs continued as Castle and the board sidelined Wallabies assistant coach Stephen Larkham on full pay after the Wallabies’ worst season on record in 2018 after head coach Michael Cheika threw him under the bus to keep his own job.

Nobody got sacked, but Scott Johnson was appointed director of rugby above Cheika, and made up a three-man selection panel alongside Michael O’Connor.

Michael Cheika presided over the Wallabies’ ill-fated 2019 World Cup campaign.

The end result was the Wallabies’ worst result in World Cup history last year in Japan, a humiliating quarter-final thumping by England.

Castle and the board then decided to reject Fox Sports’ $200 million offer for rugby’s 2021-25 broadcast rights package to go to the open market, a bold move that has ultimately led the game to the brink of insolvency and cost Castle her job.

And now to Peter Wiggs, the multi-millionaire businessman touted as the man to save the code, who was set to be the new chairman but not formally appointed at Monday night’s meeting, had apparently been made promises that were reneged on, quitting on Wednesday after being unable to immediately appoint long-time friend Matt Carroll as Castle’s successor and former rugby chief John O’Neill onto the board.

And while all this is going on, RA has been unable to submit their financial statement to ASIC and stakeholders because auditors refuse to sign off on the document. Much hilarity there, too.

Peter Wiggs has pulled out of the running to be RA chairman.

The key cast members of this sitcom are executive chairman Paul McLean, Pip Marlow, Hayden Rorke and John Wilson. None were around for the Beale-Patston saga, but McLean and Marlow presided over the Force axing, and all have been in charge during the Folau-Cheika-Castle madness.

Phil Waugh and president Tim Gavin are more recent directors while new additions Daniel Herbert and Brett Godfrey have yet to get their fingerprints tainted.

The key actors of this bumbling production are determined to continue onwards, ensuring the comedy show rolls on for the foreseeable future.

Those laughing loudest are the other football codes, who once used to be called “rivals”.