“He just told me his kidney was mine,’’ Ash, 49, said.

“He didn’t hesitate for a moment. He just said he would give it to me and not to worry because everything would be OK.’’

It’s been eight months since Wests Tigers coach Ivan Cleary booked himself into Royal North Shore Hospital to have his kidney removed.

In a selfless act that was kept secret from even his players, the high-profile NRL coach donated his kidney to his “big brother’’ Ash.

“There was never a question of if I would do it or not,’’ Ivan said.

“Of course I was going to do it. It is just what you do.’’

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Sitting in a windswept CBD courtyard with his brother Ash, Ivan is soon choking up too as he talks about the operation for the first time.

In a wide-ranging interview with The Sunday Telegraph, Ivan makes a series of stunning revelations — including fears for his brother’s life and that he considered saving his kidney for his NSW Blues hero and son Nathan.

************

THIS tale of sacrifices and saviours begins way back in 2013 with a shoulder.

“I went into hospital to have some minor surgery,’’ Ash said.

“I was just having a shoulder reconstruction. As part of that they did some blood tests. Anyway it turned out I had a kidney infection.’’

Ash shrugged it off as a minor complaint.

“Then I went and saw a specialist,’’ Ash said.

“It turned out to be kidney disease. He told me that I might need a transplant in 25 years and that was it.’’

Again Ash shrugged. He thought he had nothing to worry about.

“And then I took a turn,’’ Ash said.

“I got real crook last year, tired and nauseous. I went in for some more tests and they told me I needed the operation now.’’

Ash needed a kidney.

“I was facing dialysis until I found one,’’ Ash said.

“My kidney function was below 10 per cent. I had heard how hard dialysis was so I did my best to avoid it, telling the doctor I was feeling good every time I saw her.’’

For now it worked.

But Ash was soon having nightmares about tubes and needles. Of sitting still for six hours while a machine sucked out his toxic blood and then returned it clean.

“You generally need to have dialysis three times a week,’’ Ash said.

“It is a significant interruption to your life. I’m not sure how I would have coped.’’

This could have been Ash’s life for the next seven years.

His work at the Commonwealth Bank as a senior market operations manager would have been affected.

His duties as a father to Jess, 14, Zac, 13, and Lennox, 9 — and a husband to Bonnie — sometimes neglected.

“Waiting time for a kidney is between five and seven years,’’ Ash said.

“And that organ comes from a deceased person. My only other option was to find a living donor.’’

Enter Ivan.

***********

IVAN distinctly recalls the moment he found out about his brother’s private hell.

“I got an unusual call,’’ Ivan said.

“It was Mum. And I remember it clearly because she was so stressed. She told me about Ash’s situation and told me that she was going to give him hers.’’

Ivan was stunned, not so much that his brother needed a kidney, more so by his Mum’s declaration.

The thought of his elderly mother having to donate a kidney didn’t sit right with him.

“Mum gave me the information that I needed,’’ Ivan said.

“And I thought in my head that there was a fair chance I was going to be the donor. That is when I started thinking about it myself.’’

Ivan’s older brother Stuart, and Ash’s wife Bonnie all went to tests to see who would be the best match.

“We all agreed to go and get the tests. Whoever was the best match would have the operation,” Ivan said.

“Bonnie also went to get the tests, which sounds weird but sometimes a spouse would be a better match for some reason.’’

Ash was going to get his kidney. He just didn’t know yet.

“I didn’t know how to ask,’’ Ash said.

“And I really struggled at the time. I would have rather been in the position to offer and kidney then ask someone to donate one for me. It was really difficult.’’

Ash also turned to Google. But he wasn’t searching for best donors or ideal matches.

He was seeking information on pigs.

“It got to the stage that I did some research and found out they were doing testing on using pigs’ kidneys for transplants,’’ Ash said.

“I was hoping that I would not need the transplant for that long that I would be able to use that technology.’’

Ash needed a new kidney now. So, how do you ask someone for an organ?

*************

ASH nervously sipped his drink. He had invited Ivan and his wife Bec out to lunch.

It was here he was going to deliver his grim news.

Ash fidgeted with his food and slipped in and out of the conversation.

“I didn’t know how to ask someone to give me a kidney,’’ Ash said.

He didn’t have to.

“I know what you are going through,’’ Ivan said.

“Mum told me. What can I do to help?’’

Ash began to cry.

“I just looked at him and let it out,’’ Ash said.

“I said the best option for me is probably for you or Stu to give me a kidney.’’

Ivan nodded.

“Of course,’’ he said.

“Let’s go and do whatever has to be done.’’

*************

TESTING took six months. There were blood tests, ultrasounds and CT-scans.

“It came up that I was the right match,’’ Ivan said.

“I felt honoured. When Ash said he would rather be donating than receiving a kidney, well I get that. I was totally fine giving him mine.’’

Ivan was not worried about the risks, including the one-in-3000 chance he would not survive the surgery or the one-in-200 chance he would develop disease in his remaining kidney.

“The only discussion I had was with my wife Bec about our kids,’’ Ivan said.

“Her father was on dialysis when he passed away. He had bad kidneys. There were also other cases of kidney disease in her family.’’

Ivan thoughts turned to his children: Indiana, 19, Jett, 13, Malaya, 11, and of course Nathan — the 20 year-old who helped deliver NSW the series win over Queensland last week.

“I was concerned about what would happen to my kids if they ever ran into trouble,’’ Ivan said.

“I had to go through the process of thinking about should I keep it in case they needed it one day. Fortunately we worked through those concerns.’’

There was also his new job. After sitting on the sideline for almost two years, Ivan had just resumed his NRL coaching career at the Tigers.

“The only time I could really do it was in October,’’ Ivan said.

“I probably could have done it during the pre-season but I was at a new club. It was going to be my first pre-season with the club, which was going to be very important.

“We were trying to line it all up with surgeons and meanwhile he is getting sicker and sicker. Thankfully it all lined up at the right time.’’

***********

FAST forward to October 13 and Ivan is being wheeled into surgery.

“I went in first,’’ Ivan said.

“It was a bit like an auto-shop. They had to take out my kidney first, chuck it on the bench, clean it up and then throw it straight in Ash.

“I was OK. I just wanted to get on with it. I wanted them just to give me the drugs so I could get to sleep.’’

Ash was not doing so well.

“I got very emotional,’’ Ash said.

“I was there watching him go in. All I could do was shake his hand and say good luck. What do you say? I just said ‘good luck’ and ‘love you’.’’

Ivan came to a few hours later. His surgery had been a success.

“I was all OK,’’ Ivan said.

“Everything went well with me. But I had to wait a bit to find out about Ash. His was still going.’’

And things were not going well.

“Later that night I found out he was in all sorts of trouble,’’ Ivan said.

“He had a reaction and was vomiting. I was too crook to do anything so my other brother Stu was in there looking after him. That was so hard. I was really worried about him. It was such a delicate thing. He could have rejected the kidney at anytime.

“The reaction, the vomiting and sickness, was a sign that he wasn’t going to accept it. His body was in lockdown. I was stressing that it wouldn’t work.’’

All Ash could think about was Ivan.

“I just wanted to know how he was when I came too,’’ Ash said.

Ivan feared for his brother for three days.

“It was quite a while until we knew he was going to be OK,’’ Ivan said.

“Thankfully he came through.’’

Nathan, the Penrith Panthers star, revealed he held fears for both his uncle and father.

“I don’t think I understood what a big thing it was at the time,’’ Nathan said.

“It wasn’t until I went into the hospital that I realised how significant and what a big procedure it was. I went in and Dad and Ash were both in pretty bad ways. It was actually very hard to see and they weren’t OK for a few days.

“It ended up being OK and it is a pretty special thing for Dad to be able to save his brother’s life.’’

Ivan spent his NRL pre-season in recovery.

“I was in no shape to be looking at (NRL) game tapes,’’ Ivan said.

“I was in hospital for four or five days and then spent a few weeks laid up at home.’’

**************

ONLY now, eight months after the operation, can Ivan and Ash make light of what they have been through.

“He thought he was going to be a burden,’’ Ivan said.

“He doesn’t realise he has been a burden his whole life. He isn’t going to stop now.’’

Ash returns serve.

“I coach my younger bloke in a junior soccer team,’’ Ash said.

“And I have had some people tell me that the new kidney hasn’t helped my coaching. Maybe that is because Ivan isn’t such a good coach after all?’’

But both have a serious message for anyone needing an organ.

“Just ask,’’ Ivan said.

“There is something wrong when people are too afraid to ask their family members for an organ. Apparently it is quite common and the message need to get out there that it is OK to ask.

“Most will actually want to do it and will get something out of it. You are hurting them more by not asking than by taking it.’’

Both Ash and Ivan were at ANZ Stadium on Sunday night to watch Nathan help NSW win only their second State of Origin series in 13 years.

“They helped make it the best night of my life,’’ Nathan said.

“It wouldn’t have been the same without them. I was actually looking out for them in the dressing rooms after and they were just about the last ones to come in. It was so awesome when I saw them.

“It was so special to have Ash there after everything he has been through. It was nice to be able to see him smiling again.’’

Without Ivan’s selfless act, it was a moment they might never have shared.