Knights forward James Gavet turns the troubles of his own life into lessons

James Gavet knows what it’s like to struggle and to feel like he’s not being heard. The Newcastle prop will do all he can to make sure nobody else has to.

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James Gavet, as a kid, would always check the wrists of people giving him advice.

“Looking,” he says, “for scars”.

And if none were found?

Then, this troubled Aucklander would go scanning for tattoos, fight wounds, anything really to suggest this latest person sitting across the table had some understanding about his life.

About him.

Which was no small thing.

Especially given Gavet was smoking marijuana in primary school. Drinking alcohol, too, aged 12.

By his teens, descending so deeply into narcotics, street violence and depression, he tried three times to take his life.

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“And those people assigned to help, they really were trying,” Gavet recalls.

“But I’d be sat looking at them, thinking ‘this guy was raised in a nice neighbourhood, with parents earning $60K. He knows nothing about me’.”

Which isn’t what Gavet needed.

“No, I needed somebody like me,” he says. “Because once you’ve been through that darkness yourself, once you’ve come out the other side … that’s when you’re in a strong place to help others.”

And so now, this rugged Newcastle prop does.

Every week, meeting with Tyler, 17.

A young offender who, we can only say, was handpicked by NSW Juvenile Justice after repeated appearances in court.

And so together, and for hours, they work on creating change.

Initially, with the smallest things.

James Gavet and Tyler, 17, a youth he mentors. Pictures courtesy of Newcastle Knights.

“Like setting goals at the gym,” Tyler explains. “Not only with what I lift, but ensuring I stick at it four, five times a week.

“James is also helping me get a licence. He’s going to teach me in his car.”

Which matters.

Especially when you understand how, not so long ago, the Knights were approached by a local Children’s Court magistrate with this collection of reoffending teens who connected with no one.

Not parents. Or police.

Even youth workers unable to cease a cycle which, quite obviously, was heading towards a long stretch inside.

Yet rugby league players, the magistrate reckoned … well, it just might work.

So Gavet, he raised his hand.

Same deal Connor Watson, Jacob Saifiti and Shaun Kenny-Dowall.

“Because more than being a role model on TV,” the Knights forward says, “this is about really helping someone.”

And as for how much of that dark past he reveals?

A willingness to be vulnerable is the key for Gavet. Photo by Ashley Feder/Getty Images.

“All of it,” Gavet insists.

“Because these kids, they can feel if you’re just there for the paycheck. Or to tick off on some program.

“And I know that feeling.

“Of thinking nobody is going through what you are. Of thinking that out on the street, this person wouldn’t give you the time of day.

“So I know if you really want someone to open up, you have to go out on that same limb.

“Show your vulnerability.

“For this to work, you have to dive in completely.”

Which is why, apart from having weekly meetings measured in hours, Gavet also takes Tyler out with his wife Gabriela, younger brother Talavou, 18, and another close friend.

“Talavou and his mate are living in our spare room,” the 29-year-old explains. “One, my brother, chasing the NRL dream while the other wants to become a boxer.

“It’s all fairly hectic — right now we’re dropping the boys off to work and so on — but when we all go out together to places like Timezone, it’s great.

Gavet has come to think of Tyler as a younger brother. Picture courtesy of Newcastle Knights.

“Tyler is friends with both the boys. He’s become like my younger half-brother.”

For this, Gavet explains, is how he found real change too.

“Eventually I went back to my parents, who had always been loving,” he says. “But I was also fortunate to find a number of other great mentors, some of whom I still lean on today.

“And because of that, I’m in a position now where I can use my experiences to help someone else.”

Says Tyler: “James and I, we’re the same.

“And even though he’s been through the same stuff as me, he went and changed it all.

“That makes a huge difference in me staying positive. I know it’s now time for me to grow up and leave all that other stuff behind.”

Again, just like his mentor.

“And I understand for Tyler, I won’t be the entire answer,” Gavet says.

“But if I can be like those people who helped me, that would be incredible.

“I’d like to see Tyler in 10 years from now, not perfect but in a far better place. If he’s a good man who is trying hard … yeah, that would be a win indeed.”