Paul Green’s wife Amanda reflects on missing her soulmate, and honouring his premiership legacy with the Cowboys
Amanda Green still gets chills recalling the moment her late husband, NRL legend Paul Green, cemented his premiership legacy to North Queensland. Amanda opens up to PETER BADEL about life without her soulmate.
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The wife of former Cowboys coach Paul Green has opened up about the tragic death of the rugby league legend and his premiership legacy to North Queensland.
In a heartfelt interview with this masthead, Amanda Green reflected on life without her soulmate and also spoke of the late coach’s son Jed’s burning dream – to honour and emulate his dad by playing in the NRL.
It’s a hectic, special and emotive week for the Green clan.
Amanda, 12-year-old son Jed and daughter Emerson, 16, flew to Townsville on Friday to attend the Cowboys-Sharks clash at Queensland Country Bank Stadium, where the man-of-the-match was be presented with the Paul Green Medal.
Six days later, the Broncos and Cowboys will clash in the XXXX derby at Suncorp Stadium, marking the 10th anniversary of the 2015 grand final epic that saw Green break Brisbane’s hearts – and North Queensland’s 20-year premiership hoodoo.
But amid the unbridled ecstasy came tears of agony when Green took his life in August 2022, the day after his son’s birthday, in a tragedy that plunged the rugby league world into shock and mourning.
Green, the former Queensland Origin coach, died a month before his 50th birthday.
‘WE MISS PAUL EVERY DAY’
It has been 948 days since the Greens lost a beloved son, father and husband and as she returned home to north Queensland for the Medal ceremony, Amanda is determined for ‘Greeny’s’ legacy to be everlasting.
“We miss Paul every day,” Amanda said. “A day doesn’t go by that we don’t think about him, but we are doing OK.
“Paul always dreamt big and it’s my job now to show the kids that, even though our dreams look a little different, we can still dream big.
“For me, it’s about the kids, showing them we can still smile, we can still enjoy life and making sure that they do have a good life.
The Paul Green Medal was struck in 2023 as a tribute to the pint-sized halfback, who not only coached the Cowboys to their maiden title, but played 162 NRL games, including 95 for his first Sydney club, the Sharks, between 1994-98.
Fittingly, a halfback, Cronulla star Nicho Hynes, was the first recipient and Amanda derives joy at the sight of Green’s only son, footy-mad Jed, and daughter Emerson presenting the award that bears their dad’s name.
“It’s always such a wonderful night for the kids in particular to remember and celebrate Paul with our family and friends,” Amanda says.
“The kids weren’t born when Paul played at the Sharks and they were quite young when he coached the Cowboys, so for them to have this opportunity to remember their dad and celebrate all that he achieved is really special.
“We will always be grateful to both clubs for what they do.”
THE MOMENT THAT CHANGED NORTH QUEENSLAND – FOREVER
One of the most romantic chapters in Green’s footballing portfolio is his central role in what is widely regarded as the greatest grand final in rugby league history.
Twelve months after being appointed North Queensland coach, Green masterminded the Cowboys’ stunning 17-16 defeat of the Broncos in a decider laced with drama, heroes, villains, twists and turns and extra-time heartbreak.
Amanda Green still gets chills recalling the events of Sunday, October 4, 2015.
Ever the optimist, even she lost all hope when the Cowboys trailed 16-12 entering the final minute. Then came the miracle. With five seconds remaining, Cowboys five-eighth Michael Morgan turned the grand final on its head, releasing winger Kyle Feldt, who crossed in the corner to level scores at 16-all ... with one second left on the clock.
Broncos halfback Ben Hunt inexplicably dropped the kick restart in extra-time, setting the scene for Johnathan Thurston to blast home the title-winning field goal, sending the Cowboys into delirium.
It was a script from the NRL gods that changed Green’s life – and the north Queensland region – forever.
Amid the tears and jubilation, Green charged out of the coaches box and made a beeline for Amanda, Jed and Emerson.
“I felt unbelievable joy for Paul,” Amanda says.
“He ran down from the coaches box to where we were sitting. He hugged his parents and the kids and then he hugged me and said: ‘We did it’.
“For Paul, it was the reward of many years of dedication and hard work and I also knew first-hand, being from the area, what that premiership meant to the people of north Queensland.
“Getting that Cowboys job (in 2014) meant a lot to Paul for a number of reasons.
“It never sat well with him how his time playing at the Cowboys came to end. He felt he had unfinished business. He loved coaching and what he loved about it was the thought that he could make a difference in a young man’s life.
“Paul wanted to be a part of changing someone’s life for the better or helping them through their life. He really enjoyed helping young guys get better.
“That’s the reason that premiership, that game and that night meant so much to him, being part of the team that won the Cowboys’ first premiership and brought success to the North Queensland region.”
WHAT HAPPENED WAS SO OUT OF THE BLUE
They say time heals wounds but the wounds are still healing for Amanda, Jed and Emerson.
One of the most heartbreaking memories of Green’s funeral, held at Wynnum’s Kougari Oval, was the sight of Jed, then 10, and Emerson, 13 at the time, bravely stepping up to the stage to deliver a eulogy for their father.
Tiny Jed walked up to the podium to face a grieving throng of more than 700.
“You always made me laugh,” he said. “You were so silly sometimes and that’s why you’re the best dad ever.
“I’m going to miss you so much.”
Jed left the podium to be hugged tightly by Amanda. The entire room was in tears.
The first thought, and question, was why? Why would Green, a noted high-achiever in a loving marriage with kids he adored, be driven to suicide, found in his home garage on the morning his kids went to school.
“I was in complete shock,” Amanda says.
“What happened that day was so left field and so out of the blue.
“Paul loved life. He enjoyed life and was never too serious. It wasn’t until he started coaching that that real serious side of coaching came out in him.
“In his mind, there was nothing he couldn’t achieve. He was the ultimate high achiever. He went through high school and got a score where he could have done anything.
“He got his commercial pilot’s licence straight after school. He went to Harvard business school. He played the violin and piano, he learnt to fly a helicopter when he was in Townsville. He wanted to do something where he could get away from coaching and be in the moment.
“There was not too much Paul couldn’t do. If he set his mind to something, he would achieve it, he was the ultimate believer.”
THE DIAGNOSIS CHANGED EVERYTHING FOR US
A matter of days after Green’s passing, Amanda received a call from Associate Professor Michael Buckland, the founding director of the Australian Sports Brain Bank.
The family agreed to donate Green’s brain for research. The findings – that he was suffering from Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE), a brain disorder caused by repeated head injuries – helped Amanda and their children find some closure.
“Even for me, early on (the days after Green’s suicide) was such a blur,” she says.
“I have no doubt the kids had questions about why Paul did it, but once we got the diagnosis, that gave us all some answers.
“Most of his changes were behavioural changes. He probably wasn’t as tolerant as he had been. Emotionally, he wasn’t as stable. Only a few months earlier, Paul lost one of his best mates Andrew Symonds (former Australian cricket star) and the year before, he lost another great mate Adam Maher to Motor Neurone Disease.
“I saw Paul go through the trauma of losing them and he didn’t handle that well at all.
“He also said to me in the weeks leading to his death that he was feeling anxious and he didn’t understand why because he had nothing to be anxious about.
“He probably didn’t have as much patience as he had in the past. With CTE, that part of your brain where you have reserves for your mental resilience, is depleted.
“It’s such a scary disease and we need to know more about it.
“When Professor Buckland reached out, I had never heard of CTE. It was insane. My husband worked at the highest level of professional sport in Australia and we never talked about CTE. I knew about the movie called ‘Concussion’ (which spotlighted brain injuries in the NFL) but I had never watched it or thought it applied to contact sports here in Australia.
“I would never have thought to donate Paul’s brain.
“That’s another reason I will be forever grateful to Professor Buckland. The kids didn’t know their dad was sick. The diagnosis changed everything for us.
“They could then understand their dad was living with a brain disease, we just didn’t know it at the time.
“To get those answers helped us process what had happened.”
I’M BLESSED WITH THE SUPPORT I HAVE
The family may be soldiering on but Green will never be forgotten.
Jed is a centre in the under-13s with Wynnum Manly, Green’s junior club, and has hopes of not only running onto Kougari Oval, where his dad played and coached, but going all the way to the top in the NRL. Emerson, 16, recently got her learner’s licence and has impressed Amanda with her driving skills.
“I’m not sure how Paul’s patience would have been tested,” Amanda says with a laugh. “It would have been interesting.”
The emotions of Green’s passing is heightened by its timing – the tragedy occurred the day after Jed’s 10th birthday.
Asked how the kids are coping, Amanda says: “They are doing OK.
“Jed’s first birthday (after Green’s death) was pretty tough, but now that he is a bit older, each one gets a little bit easier.
“It is obviously hard for Jed. He loves his footy, plays footy and it breaks my heart that he doesn’t have his dad to talk to about all things footy.
“When you have kids, you put all your focus into them and making sure they are OK.
“I am lucky I had the kids to step up for, but I’ve got a wonderful family who are there for me whenever I need them and lots of wonderful friends. I’m blessed with the support I do have around me.
“We always celebrate Paul’s birthday (September 12). As a family, we have always loved a birthday celebration, so we continue to do that and remember and celebrate him on that day.
“There’s always going to be some tough triggers, but we have some amazing friends and family who support us on a daily basis.”
I KNEW FROM THAT MOMENT WE MET
Given Green’s CTE diagnosis, you could understand if Amanda was reluctant for Jed to play contact sports. But she wants Jed to chase his dreams – just as Green would wish.
“He loves his sport,” Amanda says.
“He plays AFL in term one at school, rugby union in term two and league in term three, so we have to safeguard his brain health.
“At the moment, he is a member of the under-13 Wynnum Manly Seagulls and loving every minute of it. He doesn’t have any one team he supports. He supports whoever he is watching at the time. He doesn’t really have one favourite player, he just enjoys playing the game.
“He has pictures of his dad and we have lots of memories of his dad around the house.
“Playing NRL is Jed’s dream, he wants to be just like his dad.”
Amanda has shed many tears but the support of family, the extended NRL family at the Cowboys and Sharks and the memories of her 25-year union with Green will always reside in her heart.
“Our first ever date, Paul got this small aircraft,” she recalls with fondness in her voice.
“He flew us to a small island just off the Central Queensland coast. I was so scared but he was amazing. I knew from that moment we met there was something special about Paul. He went straight to the top with that first date. Not too many dates lived up to it after that.
“We will always have some amazing memories ... we were blessed to have Paul for the time that we did.”
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