Parramatta Eels legend Eric Grothe reveals he faked injuries to get out of playing games at the height of his playing career

Eels premiership legend Eric Grothe has revealed he would fake injuries to get out of playing games at the height of his career, turning to drugs in a desperate attempt to ease crippling mental demons which plagued him long past his time in rugby league.

Eric Grothe was plagued by self-esteem issues throughout his playing career. Picture: NRL Imagery

Parramatta legend Eric Grothe has made the stunning claim that he would deliberately feign injuries to miss matches, admitting he was often scared during his glittering career.

In an extraordinarily raw and revealing interview, Grothe also admitted taking marijuana during his playing days and cocaine post-career. Nicknamed ‘Guru’, Grothe was known for being laconic yet destructive on the field.

Now 64, he is widely regarded as being among the greatest wingers in Australian rugby league’s 116-year history.

He won four premiership with the Eels, represented NSW in nine games and played eight Tests for Australia.

“The ego was running riot, but away from everyone, when being myself, it was just a belief that didn’t translate to the public side of things,” Grothe told Andy Raymond’s Unfiltered podcast.

“I had no self-esteem and started faking injuries. I could have played a lot more games.

Eric Grothe made the stunning admissions on Andy Raymond’s Unfiltered podcast.

“I played football in a scared way. It felt like I was little – everyone looked bigger to me. It became worse. I just festered into being uncomfortable, to the point where if it was a Sunday game, on Friday and Saturday nights I’d be thinking I don’t want to play Sunday.

“That’s why it got to the point when I would fake injuries. It became too much for me, so I opted out. It was a battle I was having inside a lot.

“There were a number of games I pulled out of on Sunday morning. I rang (Eels) doctor (Peter) Manollaras and said ‘Pete, I can’t play, my knee or ankle is sore’. I told him I didn’t want to play. Then I’d be happy.

“I did have drugs when I was playing, just your standard marijuana. But I never really escaped myself. You try to run away from yourself. You make excuses. Having a smoke took away from me having to deal with it.

Parramatta Eels’ 1983 NSW contingent. Eric Groth (second from right).

“I learnt a fair bit about depression after going through it. I battled with that. I couldn’t find strength to fight it or get over the top of it to see the real picture. I was this mild-­mannered, scared person.”

In discussing his mental health issues, Grothe said his decision to play was often dependent on who the Eels were confronting.

“I remember the feeling of going to a game and pretending this toughness,” he said. “It would depend on who we were playing. If I hadn’t had happy games against them previously, then I would drag that back into my mentality. ‘I don’t want to play them, I don’t want to go to Canberra, it’s too cold’, that sort of thing.

“I had no esteem and didn’t think I was worthy. From 1984, ’85, I struggled big time, thinking that I had to live up to what I had done, but I couldn’t do it anymore and believe in myself.

“The knees were a problem, but when I did my knee the last time I was a little bit happy about it because I didn’t have to deal with this thing in my head that I had to get out there and show that I was tough.”

Eric Grothe won four premierships with Parramatta.

Asked if any teammates were aware of his issues, he said: “No, none at all. Life is thrown at you to rest your character and personality.”

Grothe admitted he turned to drugs when life was hard.

“I did cocaine pretty heavily there for a while,” Grothe said.

“I half knew what could happen if I did it too much. It’s only fleeting. When you’re coming down and lying in bed, you start thinking: ‘Why? Why did I do that?’

“Reality kicks in and it gets washed over when you think you’re going to have some more.

“It’s a terrible cycle. You feel like there’s no end to it, but there is, there always is.

“I broke my family up by playing up.

“I did the wrong thing.

“I’m content now, but there are still a lot of things to fix up.”