NRL’s Mad Monday should stay even if some people don’t agree with it

MAD Monday is not everyone’s cup of tea — mainly because NRL players have much stronger beverages at their end-of-season celebration — but it must be saved.

CHOPPY Close tells a wonderful story about Mad Monday.

A yarn from back when leaguies still owned mullets, moustaches, mortgages, even — gasp — Monday to Friday jobs.

And it was among such men that Choppy embarked this day on his annual booze-up.

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A session so intense, it made Dean Jones’ eight hours at an Indian crease in 1986 seem like Kanga cricket in comparison.

Resch’s were downed. Shots raised.

And sometime much, much, later, Choppy woke in the gutter. Confused. Skint and sore.

Cronulla Sharks Ben Barba and Andrew Fifita celebrate at a fan day after they defeated the Melbourne Storm in the 2016 NRL Grand Final. Pic: AAP

The later, thanks largely to that dark shadow standing overhead, kicking the absolute life from him.

And had this happened next week, on the first official Mad Monday of 2017 ... well, our ‘80s Origin great wouldn’t need to retell his tale.

No, not after someone had already recorded said kicking via iPhone and immediately uploaded to Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, whatever.

Or maybe, with dollar signs dancing about their eyes, they would sell said footage to a television network. Who in turn, offers “The Close Encounter” stills to print.

Parramatta Eels players on their Mad Monday celebrations boarding a boat at Pyrmont.

Choppy would not even up and out of that gutter by the time social media explodes.

Which is a shame.

Especially considering Mad Monday, it’s no more dangerous to rugby league than a Canterbury backline shift. Truly.

So Ben Barba did drugs last year? Ho hum.

We’ll even go out on a limb and say he didn’t need Mad Monday for that.

Wests Tigers players are heading off for a harbour cruise for Mad Monday. Photo: Bob Barker.

Ditto, Tim Simona, who short of becoming a pirate on that infamous Wests Tigers harbour cruise three years back, committed far worse atrocities on dry land — not only defrauding charities but betting on rival players to score tries against him.

Yet as for the NRL banning exotic wagering?

Um, no.

Same as Cronulla aren’t exiled, despite ingesting those viles labelled something like C3PO. Nor Melbourne and Parramatta, whose inability to count, hide ledgers and erase dodgy tapes is now the stuff of legend.

So how about we lay off Mad Monday. An event no worse than any office Christmas party across Sydney. Although maybe with fewer drugs.

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And if players do test positive — like the 20-odd who pinged, quite literally, in 2015 — punish them. Hard.

But leave everyone else to carry on at the bar.

Understanding that, no, alcohol isn’t the answer. But neither is milk.

And besides, rugby league has already been stripped so bare it could dance for dollar bills.

Shoulder charges, fisticuffs, Stanley the Steel Avenger, all of it gone.

So, please, no more.

Bulldogs players at a Mad Monday at Belmore Oval. Pic: Craig Greenhill

Not when another 5000 more pertinent issues need addressing.

And again, if somebody stuffs up this Mad Monday, punish them. Aggressively.

An edict which brings us back to Chris Close and that gutter.

To someone shoeing our man with such gusto, he would feel it for days.

But as for said mugger being a teammate, coach, even copper?

“Nah,” the Queensland great once told us, grinning. “It was my missus, come to pick me up”.