NRL Retirement: Trent Hodkinson misses the game but does not miss the painkillers
By the time he retired, NSW Origin hero Trent Hodkinson had lost count of the number of painkilling injections he needed just to take the field - now he opens up to Fatima Kdouh about finding joy in life after footy.
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Relief and anger.
Two emotions that rarely come together at the same time but were exactly what former NSW Blues halfback Trent Hodkinson felt when he was forced into medical retirement.
By the time he retired, Hodkinson had lost count of the number of painkilling injections his knees needed just to take the field.
During his 174-game NRL career, where he played for Manly, Canterbury, Cronulla and Newcastle, Hodkinson had multiple surgeries including a knee reconstruction and three rounds of an experimental stem cell procedure but still chronic cartilage issues remained.
A fresh knee injury in 2019, that limited him to a single NRL game for Manly, would leave club doctors with no choice but to recommend he give up playing the sport he loved.
It was a pill hard to swallow but one he was ready to stomach.
“It was a relief because I knew that I didn’t have to go through the day in, day out grind, especially the knees, that my body was going to get a break,” Hodkinson said.
“But at the same time, I was frustrated, I was a little bit angry at just the way it finished.
“I sort of removed myself from football. I didn’t really watch footy. I didn’t really want to have anything to do with it.”
So in 2020, Hodkinson got on the tools at 31-years-old to finish the fire sprinkler fitter apprenticeship he started as a teenager.
“I was a mature adult apprentice. I was up at 4am and would go through until 3pm, so my days were filled,” he recalled.
“I was around everyday Aussie battlers on the job site, around good banter and working for each other so that made it a little easier.”
But even on the job site his career feats, which included a grand final with Canterbury and the famous matchwinning try for the Blues to seal a series victory for NSW in 2014 - ending eight years of Queensland domination - were never far away from being brought up.
“Going back on a job site, blokes would walk up to you and go, ‘Mate, you bloody played State of Origin. What are you doing here?’” Hodkinson said.
“That can have an effect on you.
“I was always like, ‘Nah, mate I want to be here’. Which I did.
“It was fine, you’d have a laugh but you’d think, ‘f***’, and start to think certain things.
Some of those certain things included the ‘what ifs’.”
Hodkinson had a number of clubs interested in signing him over in England before he was forced to retire.
He also spent a lot of time early on reminiscing about being on the footy field and the weekly adrenaline rush, the thing that Hodkinson missed most.
“I try to explain it to people. It’s the best thing you can feel, that big adrenaline dump, and then all of a sudden it’s gone,” he said.
“You know, you’re not only doing it for yourself, it’s for your teammates and your fans and your family. And then that’s just gone, imagine that.”
It’s partly why Hodkinson now has aspirations to be an NRL coach.
He and his family have moved to central Queensland, where he works for the Dolphins as a coaching development officer.
Hodkinson is also an assistant coach for QRL outfit, Central Queensland Capras.
“Why coaching? I guess that’s what I’m looking for. It’s the closest thing to getting a fix of adrenaline,” Hodkinson said.
“I just enjoy the challenge. You look at the game differently.
“I like being involved around the boys and helping them out, implementing game plans and when they come off… it’s a good feeling.
“It’s just something that’s sort of drawn me in and I’m keen to have a crack at it for sure.”
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