NRL 2024: Kieran Foran’s plea to tackle Australia’s suicide crisis following the death of stepson Logan Steinwede
Kieran Foran and wife Karina have been left shattered by the sudden death of her son Logan Steinwede. Now they’re making a passionate plea to tackle Australia’s suicide crisis.
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Devastated NRL star Kieran Foran and wife Karina have made a heartfelt plea to tackle Australia’s suicide crisis following the tragic death of aspiring professional surfer Logan Steinwede.
The Forans have been left shattered following the sudden death of Logan – Karina’s son and Kieran’s stepson – last month, aged 20.
Logan took his life while staying with his grandparents on NSW’s Central Coast, just 24 hours after the Forans celebrated one of the highest points of Kieran’s career.
An off-season holiday to Melbourne for the Forans following New Zealand’s 30-nil thrashing of the Kangaroos in a rugby league Test on November 4 was cut short by the gut-wrenching news of Logan’s death.
But among the excruciating pain of losing a child and step child, the Forans are determined to make a difference and want Logan’s legacy to help save Australia’s vulnerable.
“We can’t change what’s happened, but we can change the future,” said Titans player Kieran from the couple’s home on the Gold Coast.
“We need to be okay not being okay. It’s not about needing to talk more, it’s about being OK being completely vulnerable and broken. Saying ‘I’m not okay’ is not enough.
“In the moments we’re extremely vulnerable, in hurt and pain and contemplating life and death, we need to ask for help.
“Everything can be fixed … apart from bringing someone back.”
A MOTHER’S BABY
Karina Foran realised at a young age that she had a maternal, nurturing side and being a mother was her destiny.
She had her first child, Jaxson, with former husband Mat Steinwede, a motivational speaker and real estate agent, at age 19. Within seven years she had given birth to six children.
Born on October 1, 2003 in Gosford, Logan was the last of Karina and Mat’s four children – a baby brother to Jaxson, Paris and Phoenix. But he wasn’t little for long.
With his long sun-bleached surfer’s hair and a smile that melted many hearts, Logan quickly grew into a strapping teenager who lived for the ocean and had dreams of becoming the next Mick Fanning or Joel Parkinson.
“Logan was mad, always mad,” Karina said with a brief smile amid her sadness.
“Fearless, fun, happy, uplifting … he would light up a room and anyone’s world. He was high-energy and always busy.
“He was a big, tough boy. A bull at the gate. He played footy but surfing was the best thing for him.
“It was surfing before anything. He got pulled out of school if the swell was good. He lived for it and breathed it. He was in the water more than out of it.
“He got on a board when he was three and that’s all he really did. He needed that because he was a person that needed to be kept busy.”
By his teen years, Logan had landed big-name surfing sponsors and was chasing a career on the exclusive world tour circuit – of which there are only 30 spots. It was all he ever wanted to do.
Kieran Foran was forging a career as one of the NRL’s most high-profile players after winning a premiership with Manly in 2011 and becoming a New Zealand Test regular.
But after joining Parramatta in 2016 his life went into free fall following a relationship breakdown with the mother of his two children – Emerson and Jordan – and struggles in the NRL, including his own mental health challenges.
Then he met Karina, who was working as a hairdresser and gym class instructor, on The Central Coast in 2016 after Foran made the shock decision to walk away from the NRL briefly.
“I was lost all throughout 2016-17 – it was a chaotic time in my life,” Kieran said.
“I met Karina then I came back from the Warriors (in 2017) and we started to hang out again and were glued together from then.
“We had to blend eight kids from 17 years to 18 months. As diverse as it was, we were going to make it work.
“Our love for each other was very deep early on. We had to navigate our way through rebuilding my career and being parents and step parents to all the kids.”
Kieran and Karina, who married in 2018, embraced each other’s children and he struck an immediate bond with Logan, who followed them to the Gold Coast earlier this year after Foran departed Manly and signed with the Titans.
“I saw lots of similarities,” Kieran said.
“He was very driven and dedicated, a by-product of his upbringing, and full of energy. He could throw me on his shoulders and run up the stairs. He was as strong as an ox.
“I missed the early years of his life, but for the past seven years I was part of he was nothing but a beautiful, happy kid that grew into a young man.”
THE DOOR KNOCK
Kieran, 33, has played more than 300 elite level rugby league games throughout a career that’s entering its 16th season next year.
But few moments compare to the feeling of thrashing Australia in front of a raucous Kiwi crowd in Hamilton to win the Pacific Championships final in what may have been his last Test match.
Among the celebrations, Kieran checked his phone after the game and found a message from Logan.
“It said ‘f*** yeh, Fozzy! Well done. Love you, brother’.
“That was classic ‘Loges’.”
The Forans flew from Auckland to Melbourne the next day to meet Kieran’s family for a holiday following a long footy season and enjoyed dinner together on the Sunday night, with plans to attend the Melbourne Cup on the Tuesday.
They were woken on the morning of Monday, November 6, by Kieran’s sister Natalie knocking on their hotel door.
What followed was a life-changing phone call from Karina’s parents, Chris and Karen Coulson, who Logan was staying with.
“It was a complete shock for everyone in the family and I think everyone would agree. No one ever in our wildest dreams thought Logan would get to that point in his life,” Kieran said.
“You know your kids and step kids are struggling at certain times in their life, but you don’t ever believe you’ll receive a call to say one of them isn’t here anymore.
“Then I had to think ‘how do I tell a mother that her child’s just taken his life?’. How do you deliver that information?
“I thought I’d been through a lot and experienced everything, but nothing compares to that moment. Your world just collapses around you and it becomes a matter of holding on.”
Karina has a different ringtone assigned to each of her six children so she knows who is calling when her phone rings. Jaxson calls twice during our two-hour interview but she will never hear Logan’s tone again.
Her memories of that day in Melbourne are vague, but she will never forget the pain.
“It is hell, it is a free fall, a bottomless, empty pit,” she said.
“Your hands, face and feet are numb. Your insides are hot. Your stomach churns. You can’t breathe. You don’t know how to function.
“It is the worst feeling that I cannot put into words. It’s indescribable. You’d rather be … gone, than to feel that.
“You wouldn’t wish this on your worst enemy. You wouldn’t want anyone to ever feel anything close to it. It’s a million times worse than you could imagine. Nothing matters … nothing.
“All of a sudden the floor is gone. It is so hard to describe how empty, wrong and pointless everything feels.
“That is my boy. That is my son. This shouldn’t be happening.
“How do you go on? How do you keep living and doing things? Nothing is normal anymore. Everything feels empty and wrong.
“I know he wouldn’t have meant for us to feel any of this. But it is paralysing.”
LOGAN’S LEGACY
More than 1000 mourners turned out in Erina, on The Central Coast, a fortnight ago to farewell Logan. Among them were NRL stars and Foran’s former Manly teammates Tom and Jake Trbojevic along with Kiwis coach Michael Maguire.
Jaxson had noticed Logan drinking more alcohol recently, but it was nothing unusual for a 20-year-old navigating his way through life.
The Forans had no inkling Logan, whose possessions remain in his bedroom at their Gold Coast home, was contemplating suicide and believe he made an impulsive decision.
It wasn’t in his character to cause pain to others and they think if he made it through that Sunday night, he would have gone for a surf Monday morning and still be here today.
“He would never have wanted the consequences of that action to be felt how they have,” Karina said.
“He would have never meant to hurt anyone, ever. He just needed a way out and unfortunately it was permanent.
“In that moment he was dark and he didn’t want it to be dark.
“There was no malice in that boy. He wouldn’t want the hurt and sadness. He would hate to think he’s left this residual emotion and altered our lives.
“I know that, but it’s impossible to accept it and be okay. I know he’d want other families to not have to go through this.”
That is why they want to make a difference. If just one life can be saved by the Forans sharing their heartbreaking story they will have honoured Logan’s legacy.
There were more than 3,200 suicide deaths in Australia last year – a rate of about nine per day of which seven are men, mostly young adults.
“The message we want to get out there is that suicide is not the answer,” Kieran said.
“There were 1100 people that turned up to Logan’s funeral (and more than 8000 online streams). They would have all done absolutely anything for him.
“People, especially young men, need to understand that no problem is too big it can’t be solved and the people around you, who love you, will help you navigate your way through it.
“Reach out for help when you’re at your most hurtful and painful moment.
“It’s really hard to see that when you’re in the midst of it and I’ve been through my own shit in life. At times you feel like you can’t find a way out or a solution, but suicide isn’t the solution.
“Logan hated hurt, pain and seeing people sad. He would not have wanted this, he wanted everyone to be happy and the room full of good energy.
“We need to continue to remind ourselves of that.”
Originally published as NRL 2024: Kieran Foran’s plea to tackle Australia’s suicide crisis following the death of stepson Logan Steinwede
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