Manly gun Lachlan Croker reveals he is “lucky and grateful” to be playing Roosters this Saturday night

Headaches, nausea, dizziness, vomiting and vision problems – Manly playmaker Lachlan Croker’s struggles with Vestibular concussion rubbed him out of the game for months, but he is fit and firing for the biggest game of the year.

Manly hooker Lachlan Croker has revealed his “disturbing and distressing” medical battle with Vestibular concussion which caused headaches, nausea, dizziness, vomiting and vision problems.

“I’m just lucky and grateful to be playing again,” Crocker said.

Croker sustained the head injury when tackling Canberra prop Josh Papali’i in a round nine game at 4Pines Park and didn’t return until round 23.

Among other worries, the durable Sea Eagles dummy half revealed how an inability to focus for more than a second was a deep concern.

And because his symptoms were “subjective”, Croker feared teammates thought he was “taking the piss”.

He can still suffer from heart rate and blood pressure issues before a match.

Croker also admitted to feeling selfish and “weighed down” for wanting to play on given the concerns harboured by his family.

Medical journals claim Vestibular concussion “damages cells in the brain called neurons”.

The tackle that badly affected Lachlan Croker. Picture: Fox Sports

“The first three to four weeks weren’t much fun, mainly through headaches. It felt like a constant migraine. And then for the next three or four weeks, I was really dizzy – my eyes wouldn’t focus properly and it made me feel nauseous,” Croker said.

“If I was looking at something, I would lose focus really quickly. That was the most disturbing thing – when I was running around the stadium, things would stay clear for half a second and then I’d lose it.

“Throughout our training I felt like I was going to vomit – a seasickness, motion sickness type feeling. Before I vomited, I would feel hot and uncomfortable.

“It is such a strange thing to try and explain to someone. The worst thing was how subjective it was. There were no markers in the gym or outside of training where I could explain to someone (how I felt) or they could visibly see there was something wrong with me. It was just

me telling them.

“That was the most distressing thing for me was, first of all, do the boys think I’m taking the piss? That was the main thing and, secondly, how long was it going to take for me to feel normal enough to play?

Croker struggled with headaches, nausea, dizziness, vomiting and vision problems. Picture: Rohan Kelly

“I went to tackle Josh Papali’i and copped his shoulder to my cheekbone or chin. At the time, it didn’t bother me too much because I’ve had worse knocks and played on with them and never felt like it impacted on how I was playing or how I felt but I knew straight away this one was different.

“It did spin me a little bit. Dealing with those Vestibular inner-ear, eye-type symptoms was a result of the knock but there wasn’t an issue with my brain.”

While still feeling side-effects before most games, Croker has returned successfully to resume his role guiding and inspiring Manly around the ruck and he will play a pivotal role in Saturday night’s elimination final against the Sydney Roosters at Allianz Stadium.

“Everything is so finetuned with your eyes and ears so as soon as something goes half wrong, it becomes noticeable. I knew straight away things weren’t perfect. The nausea came off the back of my eyes, not focusing. Things weren’t right with my vision,” he said.

“I knew it was a time thing (to recover) but speaking to other guys who dealt with the same symptoms for six months, nine months, didn’t make me feel great.”

While struggling to recover, Croker denied ever fearing he would be forced into premature retirement.

“I never felt like I wasn’t going to play again but there were definitely times when I thought I might be greedy trying to get back and play,” he said.

“Did I have my future self’s best interest at heart?

“That involves a partner (Abbey Ridley) and a family later on in life; thinking about what I wanted was a concern for my future self and future family. If you think about it too long and hard then it starts to weigh you down. (Abbey) never said she didn’t want me to play.

“The only time I get it now is before a game when my heart rate gets up and my blood pressure feels funny. There are times when I’m sitting in the change rooms before a game and my eyes start to feel funny but as soon as I start playing, I’m fine so make of that what you will.

“I never really felt like a knock to the head was going to bother me. It was more that my eyes weren’t feeling right leading into the game, and it might make me feel sick and maybe not get me through the game.

“I’m feeling good now that I’m back playing footy but you question how it’s going to go. I’m feeling really comfortable in my role within the team and how I’m coping with playing.”

Originally published as Manly gun Lachlan Croker reveals he is “lucky and grateful” to be playing Roosters this Saturday night