Buzz v Crash: Blues, brawls, and an Origin lacking punch

It’s the most wonderful time of year as State of Origin arrives, but this year’s build-up is lacking some punch. Buzz and Crash go head to head on Origin’s biggest rivalries ahead of the opener.

With Origin’s biggest stars on media bans and watching their words, it’s up to Robert “Crash” Craddock and Phil “Buzz” Rothfield to trade barbs on the eve of the State of Origin opener.

Nobody is safe, and nothing is off the table, as the industry veterans go head to head on the eve of Origin I at Suncorp Stadium.

Crash: Hey Buzz, are the rumours true?

Buzz: What rumours?

Crash: I heard that when the Blues landed in Brisbane they went to Suncorp and Spencer Leniu abused this guy outside the stadium he thought was staring at him ... he didn’t realise it was Wally Lewis’ statue.

Buzz: Very funny, Crash. You know he’s got nothing against the King or Queenslanders in general. He had a disagreement with Johnathan Thurston over comments he made on Spencer’s Ezra Mam suspension. I understand JT is a proud Indigenous man and he thought Spencer got off light with the eight weeks for the racial abuse in Las Vegas.

Then Ezra drove unlicensed with drugs in his system, veered to the wrong side of the road and injured a toddler. He got nine weeks but JT said nothing. Typical Queenslander.

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Phil 'Buzz' Rothfield and Robert 'Crash' Craddock go head to head for Buzz State of Origin I. Art: Scott 'Boo' Bailey

Crash: I sense fireworks in this game, Buzz. I’m tipping it will be the second-most explosive showdown in rugby league this year after your blue with Michael Maguire.

Buzz: When was the last time anyone threw a punch? Honestly. The last decent stink we saw in Origin was Gal v Nate Myles. They introduced the no-punch rule after that game. I know they relax the rules in State of Origin, Crash, but it’s too risky. You can’t get left with 12 men at this level. It’s a shame because I’d love to watch Liam Martin under the old rules. He’s M.A.D, he’s tough and he’s nasty. I don’t think you’ve got one forward who’d last a round with him.

Crash: Since you raised your blue with Maguire – oh, sorry, actually that was me – I heard he went off so loudly flocks of pigeons in nearby parks scattered. True?

Buzz: He wasn’t happy with me, Crash, for writing about the harbour cruise before they lost to Souths. The conversation was off-the-record but my goodness it was heated. I’ve had some decent barneys over the years and this one was on the podium. I found out in no uncertain terms Madge doesn’t appreciate anyone else – especially an old journo – having an opinion on his coaching methods. He’s different to someone like Gus Gould. Gus has never sprayed me. He just blocks. Can’t follow him on socials, won’t take my calls or texts or emails. He’s given me life and that’s it.

Phil 'Buzz' Rothfield and Robert 'Crash' Craddock go head to head for Buzz State of Origin I. Art: Scott 'Boo' Bailey

Crash: Buzz, what do you make of Queensland club football at the moment?

Buzz: I was going to raise this one myself, Crash. The Broncos have lost five from six, Dessie and the poor Titans look like winning the wooden spoon and the Cowboys have won four from 10. They’re all going awfully. I reckon your esteemed colleagues, Bomber Badel and Trav Meyn, will be on early Mad Mondays again. Seriously, what’s going on up there? The Broncos have a top-four roster. I tipped the Titans to make the top eight. And the Cowboys have got the talent to be playing in the finals, too.

Crash: Fair points. Origin is still big, Buzz, but do you miss the days when the states would wind each other up? I’m talking Paul Gallen and his two-heads taunts and Mal Meninga’s “rats and filth.’’

Buzz: You know Gal was paid to say that. Dave Smith was the NRL CEO and ticket sales were soft. So he rang Gal and offered him $10,000 to say something outlandish. You know what Gal’s like with his coin. So he produced the two-heads line.

Paul Gallen punching Nate Myles back in 2013 is the last decent stink Buzz can remember. Picture: Getty Images

And I had a bit to do with the old rats and filth line. I did a double-page spread with pictures from inside the Queensland sheds. Mal was standing to one side while Michael Hagan and Neil Henry did all the talking. The headline said: “Who’s the coach of Queensland?” Mal thought I’d been put up to it by someone in the NSW camp to unsettle him. He went ballistic in that column.

I do miss it. Laurie Daley and Billy Slater are the two nicest blokes you’ll meet. They won’t say anything evenly remotely provocative or controversial. Our two best talkers are Latrell Mitchell and Spencer Leniu and both are under self-imposed media bans. Regrettably, it’s been a soft build up.

Spencer Leniu is under a “self-imposed” media ban. Picture: Getty Images

Crash: As soft as I can remember …

Buzz: Crash, please don’t tell me you blokes are playing that tired old underdog card again?

Crash: Yes, but with good reason. This is the best Blues team we’ve seen in 25 years.

Buzz: Seriously? Crash, it’s time for you to get back to the cricket round. Shouldn’t you be writing about the World Test Championship?

Crash: Hey, I’m only going on the reports from Sydney ... Nathan Cleary is the greatest ever, Mitchell Moses can find even more space than the original Moses when he parted the waters, Stephen Crichton is a future Hall of Famer and, as for Latrell ... where do we start? It’s terrifying.

Buzz: Not as terrifying as when we had to play against Cameron Smith, Cooper Cronk, Johnathan Thurston, Billy Slater and Greg Inglis, from Macksville NSW. Or before that Mal, Wally, Gene Miles, Fatty etc. Anyway, time for predictions. I fancy the Blues by eight. Brian To’o first try, Nathan Cleary man of the match.

Crash: Queensland by two with Cam Munster still on a high after Wally Lewis told him on stage last week he was the best player he had seen, rendering Munster speechless ... for one time only.

Originally published as Buzz v Crash: Blues, brawls, and an Origin lacking punch