AFL heads left watching on as NRL jump starts Australia’s love of live sport
The NRL will make a triumphant return on Thursday night, when Brisbane host Parramatta in a blockbuster season restart that has Victoria’s AFL figures with nothing better to do but fire jealous pot shots.
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“The AFL must be s***ting themselves” about being left in the starting gates while the NRL makes its triumphant return to the field, rugby league champion Matthew Johns has declared.
A vindicated NRL will become the centre of the sporting world on Thursday night when the Brisbane Broncos host the Parramatta Eels in a blockbuster at Suncorp Stadium to end its 67-day coronavirus-induced shutdown.
Since jealous AFL figures like Garry Lyon and Jeff Kennett don’t have any upcoming Aussie rules action to look forward to, they have taken up the new Victorian sport — launching pot shots at the NRL from south of the Victorian border.
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That has prompted rugby league Immortal Bob Fulton to offer the stalled code some advice.
“Given the differences in how the two sports have handled COVID-19, I suggest the AFL Commission immediately head hunt Peter V’landys to get their game back in order,” Fulton said of the ARL Commission chairman.
“It’s been a knockout to the NRL. Peter is that good he could run both games at once.”
V’landys drew ridicule when he announced two months ago the NRL’s May 28 return date, but he will be watching from his lounge room at 7.50pm on Thursday night when the Broncos and Eels complete his pledge.
From biosecurity protocols to a row over player payments that hinged on a revised broadcast deal. V’landys launched Project Apollo, opened interstate and international borders, secured government approvals, saved clubs from financial ruin, averted a potential referees strike while also totally revamping the draw and training and game-day protocols.
“I listen to three people when I wake every morning – the PM, our Premier and Peter V’landys,” former Test hooker Ben Elias said.
“He has the courage to make the big decisions.
“When V’landys set the return date, everyone thought he was a lunatic. Now it’s a reality. We are leading the world in international sport.”
The NRL’s stunning early return comes as key identities in the AFL – which won’t restart until June 11 — continue to whinge about the NRL’s bullish approach.
“Look, I don’t want to start a war between the AFL and the NRL, but I would just like to point this out to push-ahead Pete,” former AFL star Tim Watson said of V’landys.
“It is a little more complex with a national game, accommodating teams from five different states as opposed to the NRL which has people in Queensland, New South Wales and New Zealand.”
Someone forgot to tell Watson that navigating an international border was a little tougher than crossing state lines. Or that the NRL also has a team in Victoria.
Colourful AFL commentator Garry Lyon then took a shot, declaring “That’s all right, push-ahead Pete is on a nice wave of momentum at the moment. I don’t think they’ll miss the crowds much either by the way given not many turn up.”
Hawthorn president and former Victorian Premier Jeff Kennett poked his head up from isolation to prove he was with the times, calling rugby league a “boring, boring game” and arguing “I would rather do some underwater knitting.”
“It doesn’t interest me at all,” Kennett said.
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Elias couldn’t hide his joy at the AFL’s predicament.
“The AFL has always been arrogant toward rugby league but this time they have their tails between their legs. I have enjoyed watching them squirm,” Elias said.
“When I saw Kennett questioning our return date was the first time I saw the AFL being vulnerable. They have been chasing us ever since.”
Earlier this month, V’landys said he was unconcerned about criticism coming from Victoria.
“I’m used to that sort of rhetoric from Victoria, it’s nothing new for me,” V’landys said.
The last NRL match was played back on Sunday, March 22. It has been a painful existence yet the 67-day wait is still less than virtually all other sports around the world.
Manly superstar Tom Trbojevic was surprised to be returning so soon, saying: “No one thought we would be back this early. We’re lucky with what the NRL has been able to do. We love playing footy. We’re excited to be back playing footy – we can’t wait to get back out there. It’s been a long wait but everyone is in the same boat.”
Teammate Daly Cherry-Evans added just two words: “It’s awesome.”