Adelaide United striker Meleri Mullan bravely reveals mental health struggles
Meleri Mullan’s ALW career has had a bumpy start - and now the Adelaide United striker is bravely revealing the real reason behind her struggles.
Football
Don't miss out on the headlines from Football. Followed categories will be added to My News.
Meleri Mullan has plenty of excuses for her slow start in the ALW – a torn ACL in her debut season and three subsequent knee surgeries but for the first time the Adelaide United striker is bravely revealing the real reason behind her struggles.
Mullan, now 24, is sharing her story to remind everyone it is okay to not be okay.
She was 19 when she signed her first contract with Adelaide United – fresh out of high school.
Mullan played just one game before rupturing her ACL.
It was the tipping point that sent her to rock bottom.
Getting out of bed every morning was an effort.
“It was the tipping point for me,” Mullan said.
“I was already struggling quite a bit with who I was and I didn’t see much more for me going forward.
“I didn’t see much purpose in life, I was pretty suicidal at the time, didn’t see the point in living.
“I’d wake up every day and just wouldn’t really want to be awake and would just want to go back to sleep. I thought life would be better if I wasn’t here.”
ROCK BOTTOM
Mental health was something Mullan had struggled with during high school.
“I had a really hard time expressing my emotions,” Mullan said.
“There was a lot of mental health challenges and I didn’t really know how to deal with it or speak to anyone about it so I bottled a lot of my emotions up.
“I’d say 2019 was when I hit rock bottom.
“I was just out of school and didn’t really understand what my purpose was or didn’t see where I was meant to go.”
Mullan’s family knew something wasn’t right, even if the 19-year-old wasn’t willing to talk about it.
“I was forced by my family and doctors to see someone, it wasn’t necessarily my choice at the time,” Mullan said.
“But looking back at it now I know it changed my life, being able to talk about what I was going through and it made me realise it was okay not to be okay, as cliche as that is.”
All through the low points Mullan remained with Adelaide United. She played just three games in 2020/21 season and five the following season.
Ahead of the 2022/23 season coach Adrian Stenta had a tough conversation with Mullan informing her there wouldn’t be a spot for her on the team that season.
“Honestly it was a very hard time,” Mullan said.
“I got told two days before my Cup final in the NPL and I was distraught. I didn’t think I could play the game. It went to my head, had me thinking I wasn’t good enough.
“I ended up playing, I scored two goals and got player of the match.
“I took the summer to get myself right, physically and mentally.”
Mullan ended up needing another knee surgery to fix her meniscus.
A year later Stenta called her back into the squad. Mullan played nine games last season and has played in seven of United’s eight games this season.
“I know now that it was a good decision to have that year off,” Mullan said. “But it wasn’t an easy time for me and I still have that little bit of self doubt and question my worth but I guess that comes with being an athlete.”
EMOTIONS IN CHECK
Mullan still has to work to control her emotions. She lost control of them during this year’s WNPL Adelaide grand final for West Adelaide, against her former club Salisbury Inter.
About 28 minutes in the score was locked at 0-0. Salisbury took a corner, it bounced around the box and while attempting to clear the ball Mullan kicked it into the crossbar and it rebounded into the net.
She stormed over to the post and punched it. West Adelaide went on to lose.
“A lot of emotions were flying, it was upsetting,” Mullan said.
“I knew as soon as I hit the post I’d broken my hand but I played the rest of the game.
“I ended up needing surgery. I was only meant to be out for a week of pre-season (with Adelaide United) but there were a few complications with surgery and it took me longer, I missed three weeks of pre-season.”
THE FUTURE
Mullan knows that mental health is not like a head cold. You don’t just wake up one morning feeling better.
“It took me years to get better. Mental health is there for life, I don’t think it will be all smooth sailing from here,” she said.
“I still have days where I know I’m probably over thinking or thinking in a way that’s not typical but it is about managing that and recognising when I need to seek that extra support and speak to someone.
“It took two to three years to get to a point of knowing that I am actually happy within myself and who I am.”
The experience has given Mullan a different perspective on mental health and supporting others, especially her teammates.
“It’s helped me connect with people on a different sense and see when people are struggling,” Mullan said.
“And I know one conversation can change your life.”
If you or anyone you know needs help phone Lifeline on 13 11 14.
More Coverage
Originally published as Adelaide United striker Meleri Mullan bravely reveals mental health struggles