Phillip Hughes: Michael Clarke on how being with ‘little brother’ for final moment has changed his life

In the days after Phillip Hughes was tragically and fatally struck by a cricket ball, Australian captain Michael Clarke barely left his side. Clarke opens up on being there at the very end, and the haunting challenges he’s faced since.

Michael Clarke was bedside at the last moment of Phillip Hughes’ life and it has changed his life as a consequence.

In the halls of St Vincent’s Hospital in Sydney 10 years ago, Clarke showed true leadership in the face of unimaginable tragedy.

Now as the heartbreaking anniversary approaches, Clarke has opened up about being asked by the Hughes family to be there with them in the room when father, Greg turned off Phillip’s life support machine.

“It doesn’t leave you. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Unfortunately I’ve had too many people close to me pass,” Clarke says.

“People say it gets easier. As you get older you might find ways to adjust, but I don’t think it does get easier. It’s still devastating.”

Saying goodbye to close mate Phillip Hughes was the hardest thing Michael Clarke has ever done. Picture: David Moir

The Australian team doctor, Peter Brukner was, along with Clarke, another constant presence at the hospital for the agonising period between when Hughes was hit, to when the decision was made by the family to turn off his life support.

Brukner has reiterated his public sentiments from the time 10 years on by declaring Clarke was a tower of strength for the Hughes family.

“He was incredibly supportive to both parents, Phillip’s brother and sister. He was there the whole time,” Brukner recalls.

“He was with them for all the decisions that were being told to them with the doctors and the questioning and so on. He was there.

“They felt comfortable with him and immediately he was just part of the family for that time.

“It was tough for him. He’d lost his little brother. Obviously he had a very special relationship with Phil. They were very close. He was doing it as tough as anyone and yet he was just all about the family. It was a great thing he did that week.”

Australian team doctor Peter Brukner, and then-cricket captain Michael Clarke speak at a press conference following Phillip Hughes’ passing.

Asked how he looks back on his most inspiring act of leadership, Clarke tries to deflect the significance of his role.

“They just asked me to stay and I just tried to be the middle person between listening to what the doctors were saying, but then explaining it to them in a way, because they were so emotional,” Clarke says.

“I just kept trying to find the positives.

“I don’t know how it happened like that. I don’t know. I don’t know. I just tried to help. I tried to be there for his family. They didn’t want me to leave, so I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t dare.

“They would ask me to go get someone, or they asked me to be there when Phillip’s dad turned off the machine, I don’t know. I tried to do whatever I could. And he would have done the same for me.”

Michael Clarke and Phil Hughes leave the field together during a test against South Africa in 2009. Picture: Getty Images

Clarke says losing Phillip, and in more recent times his mentor, Shane Warne, has profoundly impacted his life and made him wish he had more perspective when he was playing cricket for Australia.

“Warnie’s (death) floored me as well because he was like my big brother,” Clarke says.

“I lost my cousin who I was very close to when I was really young. I’ve lost my grandparents. My father got cancer in 2007. All of that has impacted me.

“Losing Phillip at such a young age is a big part of my life.

“I cherish my life a lot more now than I ever did. I enjoy my journey a lot more now than I ever did as a youngster.

“I look back now and wish when I played for Australia that I was more like this.

Australian cricket captain Michael Clarke pays his respect to Phillip Hughes. Picture: Getty Images

“That I stopped to smell the roses and realise it could be over tomorrow.

“Even with criticism I cop for whatever it is now, it doesn’t touch me anywhere near what it used to.

“Because I’m OK. Because tomorrow I mightn’t be here.”

Clarke said he can’t believe it has been 10 years.

“It took me a long time, but I’ve really tried to celebrate the times I’ve had with him rather than mourn his loss,” Clarke says.

“I went through that. And you still get emotional. It’s still raw for me to talk about.

“But I try to celebrate the good times I had with him, because I had so many. This year will be no different.”

Originally published as Phillip Hughes: Michael Clarke on how being with ‘little brother’ for final moment has changed his life