Cricket World Cup 2015: New Zealand’s thumping of the Poms stirs tournament into life

EVEN as English fans bleed from every pore this much is certain — the World Cup needed that match. Robert Craddock gives his week one report card.

WELLINGTON, NEW ZEALAND - FEBRUARY 20: Brendon McCullum of New Zealand plays a shot during the 2015 ICC Cricket World Cup match between England and New Zealand at Wellington Regional Stadium on February 20, 2015 in Wellington, New Zealand. (Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images)

DEBATE may rage about the merits of the minnow nations but a World Cup without England just would not feel the same.

This is one of the jokes flying around in cyberspace after England’s utterly awful loss to New Zealand on Friday.

Players from the United Arab Emirates and Scotland must have sat back and watched the carnage with one thought in their heads “thank god that was England and not us.’’

Had it been the UAE or Scotland playing in a match which almost ended before lunch they would have hung their heads in shame.

Even as English fans bleed from every pore this much is certain — the World Cup needed that match.

The first week of the tournament had purred along nicely with Ireland’s upset win over the West Indies and some dam-busting cricket by Australia and New Zealand.

But there is such a thing as purring along too nicely. A Cup without shocks is a soft drink without fizz.

This tournament needs a sprinkling of crazy dust to get people talking cricket when their hearts are yearning for football.

Here’s a week one report card.

THE RECLUSES

India are set to win the Marlon Brando award for the most reclusive side of the tournament.

Indian journalists are not even allowed to say “good morning’’ to their players on tour.

Crammed with highly paid stars with elephant sized egos, they don’t bother putting any of their players, apart from the captain, up to talk to their fans through the media between games.

The large pack of Indian journalists on tour feel horrendously let down.

THE BIG THREE

The big pre-tournament tip was that only one of three nations can win the World Cup — Australia, South Africa and New Zealand. It’s still the strong tip.

Hopes of an English challenge have evaporated. Sri Lanka are tidy but lack quality quicks. India had a nice win against Pakistan but they always beat Pakistan in World Cups.

THE BRAINS TRUST

South Africa’s formula for this World Cup has more ingredients than a bowl of minestrone soup.

One South African paper put of photo of the 10-plus members of the South African coaching staff on their back page under the headline “Too many cooks?’’

It was a fair question. Coach Russell Domingo hired Mike Hussey as a batting consultant even after hiring Gary Kirsten to do a similar role.

And he’s also hired Charl Langeveldt as a death bowling coach despite the presence of Allan Donald, no mean death bowler himself.

What’s next? A power play batting coach?

It could get very confusing very quickly.

BATTING KINGS

Batsmen are already the Cup kings which makes us think that the player of the tournament could be the bowler who bucks the trend.

The man who can take 4-40 in the final, perhaps a Tim Southee, a Mitchell Starc or a Dale Steyn.

In the first week six teams passed 300 runs — more than the entire 1996 World Cup.

Twenty20 has made its mark in the dying overs. Run-scoring is up 20 per cent in the last 10 overs compared to the last World Cup.

MINNOW MENACE

The most significant thing about the four minnow nations is that none look terrible.

Ireland beat the West Indies, the UAE extended Zimbabwe, Scotland gave a bit of cheek against New Zealand and Afghanistan had some bright spots against Bangladesh.

There was not a lot of minnow magic — but nor was there much minnow munching.

The first week did not take our breath away but it did not put us to sleep either.

Originally published as Cricket World Cup 2015: New Zealand’s thumping of the Poms stirs tournament into life