We know it’s outdated and a bit rubbish, but the Gabba deserved to host the real First Test
We know the Gabba is a bit rubbish. But in a game where home ground advantage can mean everything, it’s a disgrace that we’ve had to wait so long for this Test, writes GREG DAVIS
Opinion
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Rightio, the Gabba Test is upon us which means school holidays are about to start and we all better get organized for Christmas.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on.
It’s not November.
It’s not the first Test of the summer … it’s the bloody Australia Day long weekend. What the hell?
That’s right, it’s the summer of George Costanza – where cricket does the opposite of everything it once used to do.
Just like the character from “Seinfeld” who decided that if every decision he has ever made is incorrect, the opposite must be right, cricket has turned things on its head.
Blokes who score heaps of runs in the Sheffield Shield don’t get picked for the Test team, we pick co-vice-captains (it’s a thing now), the cricket is not on Channel 9 and the BBL now runs longer than the NRL season.
And for the marquee series against the world No.1 side that aren’t that keen on fast, bouncy pitches, we abandoned the venue where Australia has not lost since 1988.
Yes, the Gabba is a distant fifth to the other stadiums around the country. No doubt.
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It’s as tired as a four-year-old who has spent all morning at the beach making sand castles, running away from waves and chasing after seagulls.
The facilities and services for punters and tenants are poor compared to the whiz-bang offerings at the MCG, SCG, Adelaide Oval and Optus Stadium in Perth.
There is nowhere to park, very little public transport and now the light towers are now a 50-50 bet. Super.
That’s what happens when stingy governments and their secret, largely unaccountable off-shoots (good morning Stadiums Queensland, are we allowed to say good morning without filling out the proper forms?) let what was once a white knight turn into a white elephant.
With two main roads and a state school surrounding it on three sides, the Gabba hasn’t got the room to expand, even if the government wanted to spend some money. Plans for a shiny new entrance and a cross-river rail will just paper over the cracks.
It needs a massive overhaul that is just not coming. The Gabba has been left behind and is likely to disappear further into the rearview mirror of venues that reside in states that have government’s that genuinely care about sport and invest in it.
But like your favourite pair of old jeans, it’s hard to turn your back on the Gabba.
Yes, it’s a dated old thing. But God dammit, it’s our dated old thing.
It just didn’t feel right at the start of the summer referring to the Test in Adelaide as the “First Test”.
That tag belongs to the Gabba. There’s no wi-fi, it costs a fortune to get a drink and a lukewarm bucket of chips and the joint can turn into a sauna with little or no breeze able to get into the ground but it is what’s inside the ropes that counts there.
It is the best cricket wicket in the country. A wicket that the national team thrives on. Having a genuine home ground advantage has got to mean something.
So does tradition. It just doesn’t feel right talking about the Gabba Test while back-to-school ads dominate the airwaves.
Queensland cricket and state government types will meet with Cricket Australia tomorrow to discuss what can be done to return the First Test to the Gabba.
Hopefully they’ll get a park, their chips will be hot, it won’t be sauna, the lights work and they come to their senses and abandon the George Costanza approach.
And some decent coin to “Make the Gabba Great Again” would not go astray either.
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Originally published as We know it’s outdated and a bit rubbish, but the Gabba deserved to host the real First Test
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