England in recovery and sick captain Joe Root asleep as Australia celebrate Ashes triumph
IF you’re searching for an image that sums up this tour, look no farther than the England captain asleep and oblivious as the Aussies celebrated and sprayed champagne.
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JOE ROOT was fast asleep in the dressing-room when the replica Waterford crystal Ashes urn was raised in triumph by Steve Smith.
Root’s body was drained of energy by a sleepless night, an hour’s batting and vomiting and diarrhoea so severe that he made an early morning dash to hospital.
If you’re searching for an image that sums up this tour, look no farther than the England captain comatose and oblivious as the Aussies celebrated and sprayed champagne.
This was the Ashes campaign that never woke up. The sick dog of England was no match for the rampaging, confident Australian machine.
England were out-played and out-thought. Their planning, preparation and selection was inferior and Australia thoroughly deserved their 4-0 success.
The fact that England held encouraging positions in each of the five Tests actually makes it worse. Root’s team possessed neither the nous nor ability even once to nail down their advantage.
Australia won all the big moments, the match-defining sessions, and that makes England not only substandard with their skill but also mentally weak.
LISTEN: Andrew Menczel and The Australian’s Peter Lalor review the fifth Test, ask if it was a dull series and talk about the key moments of the summer.
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Root held a first birthday party for his son Alfie on Sunday evening so maybe he picked up the gastro bug then.
He went to hospital at dawn on Monday with team doctor Mark Wotherspoon and arrived at the ground shortly before play, still wearing a hospital wristband.
Root walked out to bat when Moeen Ali was dismissed after an hour and played comfortably enough, moving from 42 not out to his fifth half-century of the series.
But he worsened during lunch and did not resume his innings after the interval. He went to sleep on the physio’s bed and the dressing-room lights were turned off.
Root was incapable even of rousing himself for the post-match presentation and was driven back to the team before he had a chance to shake the Aussie players’ hands.
At least Root missed the crowing symbolism at the presentation of a giant hand painted in the colours of the Australian flag with four fingers sticking up. There was a hand in St. George colours raising no digits. They love to mock the Poms in these parts.
In Root’s absence, vice-captain James Anderson was given the job of vocalising the obituary of this series.
Anderson said: “We’ve known for a few weeks that Australia are going to lift the urn but I guess seeing them do it in person is tough to watch.
“We’ve not played well enough and they deserve to win. I do think it’s been closer than 4-0. We’ve been on top in games, if not all the games at some stage. We’ve just not capitalised.
“Joe’s not had any sleep, he’s not eaten, he’s had diarrhoea and he’s been vomiting. So I guess he’s not in great state. The heat of the last couple of days hasn’t helped.
“To get to the ground was a great effort and strap on his pads and bat for as long as he did was brilliant and showed exactly what sort of character he is.
“He wants to lead by example — he’s been a fantastic captain. I just hope he can sleep it off now and get better before the one-dayers.”
Crushing defeats like this inevitably — and often correctly — bring calls for wholesale change. Sack the coach, dump half the players, that sort of thing.
But it isn’t going to happen. There might be some tinkering to the back room staff, but head coach Trevor Bayliss and senior players such as Alastair Cook, Stuart Broad and Anderson will survive.
One guy who must shoulder some of the blame wasn’t even here. Ben Stokes’ punch-up in Bristol in September was a massive moment in this doomed tour and let’s hope he understands the impact of his actions.
Anderson added: “I think we’ve improved in last 18 months. It doesn’t feel like a series where there should be big upheaval, unlike other series which have been disastrous.
“We’ve actually played good cricket along the way. Every game has gone to the fifth day. We’ve not been blown away in every game.
“We’re hurting and we know we have to improve in a lot of areas. I’m sure everyone will be looking at themselves in the mirror over the next few weeks.
“We’ve worked tirelessly in the nets. We planned very well — meticulously — but you can’t prepare for being out in middle when the pressure is on. We’ve not dealt with those pressure situations well with bat or ball.”