Criticism Tuff for Aussies to swallow

IT says something about Australia's perilous state that even retired spinner Phil Tufnell is offering the tourists advice - about batting.

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IT says something about Australia's perilous state heading into the third Test at Old Trafford that even retired spinner Phil Tufnell, once tortured and taunted by the Australians, is offering the tourists gratuitous advice - about their batting.

"We took some beatings in my time, but even on our worst day we offered a bit more of a contest than these boys," Tufnell told The Times.

"With this Australian side, you can't ever see them getting enough runs.

"It's a negative mindset and they've got to change that. The same way we finally got around to doing against Warne. That batters all knew he was going to get them out eventually, so the trick was to score a few runs before he did."

Which, as Australia demonstrated at Lord's when they were bowled out for 128, is the difficult part. Something Tufnell, who made 30 runs at an average of 2.73 in 12 Tests against Australia, might not normally be well equipped to explain.

Still, so wretched has the Australian batting been, they have no right to ignore even Tuffers.

While Tufnell is playing amateur batting coach, the larrikin spinner feels no sympathy for the Australians. He still recalls the day at the MCG when he asked Australian umpire Peter O'Connell how many balls had been bowled.

"Count 'em yerself yer Pommy bastard," came the reply. Or so Tufnell claims.

If that is the sort of story that has earned the gregarious Tufnell a fortune on the speaking circuit, and landed him a job as an expert commentator with BBC radio, it also explains why there is little sympathy for the Australians here.

In the voices of Tufnell, and other once browbeaten Englishmen such as Michael Atherton and Nasser Hussein - commentators with Sky Sports - you can hear the smug satisfaction at seeing their old oppressor made to grovel.

Even more so because it will take an amazing and unexpected reversal of fortune for the Australians to get up from their knees. There were few compelling signs of an imminent revival during Australia's three-day tour match against Sussex.

That was supposed to have been an audition for potential Australian replacements. Instead, continuing the contrasting fortunes of the two teams, it threw up yet more options for England - centurion James Taylor, a possible replacement for injured Kevin Pietersen; and Monty Panesar, who could join Graeme Swann in a double-barrel spin attack.

While he was given a couple of lives, Taylor's unbeaten 121 was the sort of dour, controlled performance Australia desperately need in the middle order.

Meanwhile, Panesar was the most impressive spinner in the game. Nathan Lyon, on the other hand, finished with 1-99, after being savagely treated by the Sussex batsmen.

No wonder Australia are yearning for the future. At one point, youngsters Ash Agar and Ash Turner bowled in tandem - the only recent occasion when Australia has had the Ashes.