England lock out Aussies after ‘communication breakdown’ in customary post-Ashes drink

England and Australia’s plans for a customary post-Ashes drink fell apart - despite England captain Ben Stokes suggesting the series had ended up being played in reasonable spirits.

A planned end-of-Ashes drink between the two sides fell over after a communication breakdown between England and Australia.

Conventionally the home team invites the other into its rooms however it’s understood the drinks did not ensue.

England coach Brendon McCullum had suggested after the Jonny Bairstow stumping controversy during the second Test that he couldn’t envisage the two sides getting together.

Despite the catch-up falling over, England captain Ben Stokes said the series had ended up being played in reasonable spirits, even accounting for the drama of Lord’s and Ollie Robinson’s early send-off to Usman Khawaja.

Now hearing that the Aussie players did ask the England team about getting together half a dozen times but didn’t get a response and that allegedly the home team stayed behind locked doors #Asheshttps://t.co/BopRk4iCaZ

— Bharat Sundaresan (@beastieboy07) July 31, 2023

“I think that's just the progression of franchise cricket, to be honest,” Stokes said.

“There’s a lot of players who have, you know, relationships with the opposition now, you know, not just in Australia but other teams around the world.

“You know, especially in particular obviously the IPL you know, you can spend nine weeks with someone who, you know, you you'll play against, like, I’d spent two or three years at Rajasthan with Steve Smith.

“So you know, you get to know each other and kind of stuff like that, but when it comes down to it with bat and ball, it's obviously yourself against the opposition and you know, that he wants to smack you for four and he knows that he wants to get you out.

“But I think just the natural progression of franchise cricket has taken place from all across the world to actually be able to spend time together and understand each other more as a reason as to why you're probably not going to see the sort of aggression (as the past).”

Lack of fanfare says it all for unfulfilled Aussies

Early evening at The Oval. The confetti was ready to go. The urn was about to be held aloft. The Ashes belonged to the Aussies, again!

Except they hadn’t won the Test. In fact they hadn’t won a Test at all for more than four weeks. The series had been squared, and the lone drawn match of the five had been dominated by England.

The canons were loaded. But operator error meant they were never activated. The confetti remained unfired. And it felt about right.

Australia came away from this tour having won the World Test Championship and retained the urn. That looks good in a LinkedIn post.

But scratch beneath the surface, and Australia leaves unfilled. Again and again, we were told how the Aussies had come here to win the series outright, having not done so in 22 years.

Many of Australia’s players will be retired by the time the next Ashes series rolls around. Picture: Stu Forster/Getty Images

What had been achieved in 2019 was significant. To retain the Ashes abroad for the first time since 2001 on the back of the trauma of Cape Town and the punishment of Headingley made a great fairytale ending. Like, literally. It was the last episode of the first season of The Test documentary.

Of course they’d then bottled things at The Oval to make it 2-2.

So ostensibly the same core – sans Tim Paine and Justin Langer – headed back four years later to right that wrong. To tick that one off the bucket list.

At 2-0 up after Lord’s, even given the particularly close shave of Edgbaston, they were so close.

Three chances to close it out. Three chances to ensure that they would forever be known as winners of an away Ashes series.

And yet they couldn’t do it. And for many of them, all those chances have now come and gone.

Come the middle of 2027, David Warner and Usman Khawaja will both be 40, Nathan Lyon 39, Steve Smith 38, Mitchell Starc 37, Josh Hazlewood 36, Mitch Marsh 35 and Alex Carey 35, and Pat Cummins 34.

Even the bench-warmers are old. Scott Boland will be 38 by the next Ashes series in England. Michael Neser 37. Marcus Harris turns 35 in July, 2027.

Tim Paine walks out for the fifth Test of the 2019 series. Picture: Ryan Pierse/Getty Images

Warner has already flagged his retirement this summer, and odds are much of the rest of that group won’t make it another four years either.

This was it.

Cummins wouldn’t go as far as to agree that the team had been left with a sense of hollowness.

But rarely if ever can a team have been presented with The Ashes and had such mixed feelings about it.

When combined with a series defeat in India earlier this year, another clear potential legacy piece, the sense of glass half-empty is amplified. For some of Australia’s most statistically-accomplished Test players of all time, there will be lines missing on resumes.

“Coming over here, retaining the Ashes, feels like a missed opportunity,” Cummins said.

“But in 2019 we were all pretty happy about a retained Ashes. I don't think we should lose sight of that. It is a huge achievement to come over here and win. And get ourselves into good winning positions. The same as India, we got ourselves into winning positions.

“Again, just missed what we were hoping to come over here to achieve. But winning the World Test Championship and retain the Ashes, it's a pretty successful tour.”

The series defeat in India was tough to swallow. Picture: Punit Paranjpe/AFP

Ahead of this series, the query was whether England’s Bazball approach would withstand the examination from the world’s best Test team. Yes, Brendon McCullum’s reign had brought wins over South Africa, New Zealand, India and Pakistan, but see how you go against Cummins, Hazlewood, Starc and Lyon.

England did not win back the Ashes. And the carry-on about saving Test cricket is ridiculous. If you really want to do that, go and protect the West Indies, Ireland, Bangladesh and South Africa from impending systemic ruin.

But while England was sanctimonious, hypocritical and downright full of gibber at times both in the lead-up to and during the series, Bazball ultimately denied a storied group of players what they wanted to be their crowning achievement.

Originally published as England lock out Aussies after ‘communication breakdown’ in customary post-Ashes drink