Ugly extent of Sally Pearson withdrawal to Commonwealth Games

THE news sent shockwaves around our loungeroom.“Sally Pearson has just called a media conference,” said an obviously stunned triathlon commentator Dave Culbert.

THE news sent shockwaves around our loungeroom.

“Sally Pearson has just called a media conference,” said an obviously stunned triathlon commentator Dave Culbert, breaking into an enthralling section of the women’s 20km bike ride.

My wife looked at me, fear written all over her face.

“How bad is it?” she asked.

“Worse than you can possibly imagine,” I said.

The loss of the Games’ Golden Girl meant the Official Broadcaster would have to replace at least 40 hours’ worth of prerecorded Sally previews, testimonials, interviews and misty slomo tributes, I explained.

“You don’t mean …” the missus asked.

“Yep,” I interrupted. “More ads with Toad and Mandy from New House Rules.”

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Sally Pearson’s withdrawal comes at a huge cost for the Commonwealth Games.

Sally reckons she was gutted? She should have been at our place.

And it had all started so well.

There is no doubt that the triathlon sits just behind the marathon as the toughest event in sport. Not for the competitors. I mean for the commentators.

You try talking non-stop for an hour about an event that is the sporting equivalent of pulling out your own fingernails. Especially when it was patently obvious who the winner was from the moment the ladies hit the water.

And to make things worse, that winner wasn’t Australian.

Given that, Culbert and his wingman Aaron Royle did a good job. Sure Culbert did fall into the old trap of stating the bleedin’ obvious when he told us that, “someone is going to finish fourth in this race” but that’s understandable, first day nerves and all.

Pearson was brave at her press conference announcing her withdrawal. Picture: Alex Coppel.

On the plus side he managed to invoke the ghost of The Voice, telling us that “Emma Snowsill has retired more times than John Farnham.”

What is it about Farnsy and these Games? He’s referenced everywhere, including at the Opening Ceremony where we had a John Farnham song, but no John Farnham. I’m tipping it’s all the lead-up to a big Closing Ceremony surprise – Farnsy jumping out of Matilda The Mechanical Kangaroo’s pouch and launching into a rendition of Sadie the Cleaning Lady as the Gold Coast meter maids sing back-up.

Heaven knows that we need a big name with Sally out. As Dave Culbert put it with subtle understatement: “It’s bad news. Shocking news. Terrible news.”

No such problems at the pool where the Ariarne Titmus Invitational Swimming Event was getting underway with the first race on the schedule a heat of the Blair Evans 400m Medley.

Luckily Giaan Rooney was in the chair to tell us, “this view from the underwater camera” because I was just about to ring a repairman and tell him my set had gone all blurry.

Our athletics golden girl was in strong form coming into the Games

Giaan is tag-teaming with Ian Thorpe and their styles are somewhat contrasting. Giaan is all bubbly and enthusiastic. Thorpey seems, dare I say it, like a fish out of water.

For some reason he just doesn’t look like the Thorpedo of old. It has long been an opinion of mine that athletes should never be seen in public in non-athletic apparel. Maybe they should get Thorpey to commentate in his full-length black swimsuit and yellow cap. He could even pull down the goggles when it rains.

Either that or turn his microphone up so we can hear what he’s saying.

Back on the triathlon course the men’s event was giving Culbert and Royle more to talk about, with Australians Jake Birtwhistle and Matt Hauser staying up with the leaders and giving hope to finish-line reporter Pat Welsh.

Pearson has her sights set on the Tokyo 2020 Olympics.

There’s no worse job in Australian television than interviewing a local athlete who hasn’t won a Commonwealth Games medal and Patty’s talk with fifth-placed Ashleigh Gentle after the women’s event was as hard to watch as the dinner party blow-up in the My Kitchen Rules ad.

Not that it’s all about winning. Kids all over the country will be inspired by watching these Games and dreaming of what might be.

As parents are telling their little ones every time the coverage cuts back to Todd Woodbridge in the central commentary position: “See, keep practising your forehand and overhead volley and who knows? One day you too could be updating the bowls scores at the Commonwealth Games.”

Originally published as Ugly extent of Sally Pearson withdrawal to Commonwealth Games