Parenthood perfect tonic for Port Adelaide Power star Robbie Gray after cancer diagnosis
PORT Adelaide star Robbie Gray speaks exclusively about his shock cancer diagnosis and treatment, becoming a father and the Power’s quest for redemption in 2018.
Port Adelaide
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WHILE Robbie Gray sat in a chair, hooked up to a chemotherapy drip at the Adelaide Cancer Centre last year, he would read through the messages that had flooded his social media feed.
After surgery to remove a tumour for testicular cancer, Gray had a course of chemotherapy for four hours a day for a week then two more once-weekly visits which gave him plenty of time to reflect on what had just happened.
There were hundreds of messages on his phone, some from people he knew but mostly from people he did not, and they were the ones that strangely resonated with him.
“That was the most overwhelming thing — some of those messages from people reaching out,” Gray told The Advertiser this week.
“From opposition players but also opposition fans — I had Crows supporters telling me they’re an Adelaide supporter but they wished me all the best and that meant a lot to me, that support from the whole public and footy world was amazing.”
Speaking for the first time since a whirlwind three months saw Gray play in Port Adelaide’s heartbreaking extra-time, after-the-siren elimination final loss to West Coast, his shock cancer diagnosis and becoming a father to son Aston, the 29-year-old says the experience has changed his outlook on footy and life — and how could it not?
But on the eve of his 12th AFL season, life for the three-time All-Australian and three-time club champion is almost back to normal and he is itching to get back into footy starting with the Power’s JLT Series game in Perth on Sunday.
“It was a pretty crazy year, finding out we were expecting a baby and the way the footy season finished and the news I got soon after that,” he said.
“But we’re pretty busy now with the little one and it’s been amazing.
“It (fatherhood) was a good distraction through everything, it was a long nine months we were hanging out waiting for it to happen so we’re rapt.”
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It was in the days after the elimination final loss last September that Gray started to feel “not quite right”.
“We were together with the boys having a few beers and I just didn’t quite feel right,” Gray said.
“It did feel a little bit strange even over that weekend, but the pain didn’t come on until Tuesday or Wednesday that week.
“So I gave the club doctor a call and went to see him on the Thursday, we had scans and an ultrasound pretty soon after and found out there was something there.”
With no history of cancer in his immediate family and given the sudden onset of the pain, Gray said he was shocked by the news.
“We had a fair idea that night that something would need to be done but I wasn’t told exactly what, but then I saw a specialist and worked out the plan going forward,” he said.
“I suppose I was just shocked, you never think something like that will happen to you but we got through the surgery okay and I was feeling fine.
“After that we decided to have some chemotherapy to bring the chance down of anything returning.”
The difficulty he said was ringing his family to tell them the news and his mum came over from Melbourne.
“That was one of the hardest things I suppose, speaking to family and worrying about them because my wife was pregnant at the time and going through a lot herself,” he said.
“And my family are all in Melbourne so it was hard for them being over there but they were all fantastic and the support I had was great.”
Gray said the footy club from the top down was “amazing”, teammates gave him space but also made sure he knew they were there if he needed them.
He also heard from his former coach Mark Williams and Hawthorn captain Jarryd Roughead who have both had fights with cancer.
“Choco gave me a call, we speak occasionally and we’ve always got along well so we had a good chat,” Gray said.
“And I got to know Roughy a couple of years ago during the International Rules Series and he reached out and we exchanged a few texts, and he’s been through a lot himself so it was nice.”
Three weeks after the surgery Gray started chemotherapy at the Adelaide Cancer Centre which he said also gave him a sobering dose of reality.
“That was the most full-on week, then the following Monday and Monday after that,” he said.
“It was one cycle and I got through okay. It did knock me around a little bit at the time but there is medication to help with nausea.
“I was lucky that I was in for one cycle because there are lots of people in there that are doing it so much harder than I was.
“That was a big eye opener and knowing that they’re going through some pretty serious stuff.”
As one of the best footballers in the country and living in a football-mad state, it was inevitable Gray was going to be recognised at the centre.
“I had a few people come up and wish me all the best which was really nice, all the staff in there are amazing,” he said.
“You’re in the room where there are lots of other people getting treatment and everyone made it as easy as possible.”
Gray thought he might avoid the hair loss but got on the front foot and shaved his head anyway. Luckily he knew a good barber given he owns The Moon Man Barber Shop in the city.
Sending our best wishes to @PAFC's Robbie Gray at this tough time #weflyasone
— Adelaide Crows (@Adelaide_FC) October 9, 2017
His new look at least made for a good laugh when Aston Robbie came into the world on December 18 with more hair than his dad, and parenthood was the perfect tonic for Gray and wife Annabel.
“I was really excited all year and had no idea what to expect or if I’d know what to do,” Gray said of becoming a dad.
“But it was just the most amazing feeling when he arrived and the two months since he’s been here, Bel has been amazing and I’ve loved every minute of it.”
After 178 AFL games, Gray said the past three months had also put footy and life into some perspective for him.
“Both of those things do big-time, footy is really important but your health and family and kids come first so it does make me sit down and think about things a little differently,” he said.
The experience has motivated him to become a men’s health ambassador for SA Health where he urges men to take their health seriously and see their doctor for regular check-ups.
“It’s mainly to raise some awareness for men out there because we’re probably not the most organised at going and getting check-ups and seeing our doctors,” Gray said.
“If I can bring any awareness and make a little difference in how blokes think and get a check up more regularly then that’s a good thing.
“I was lucky being at a footy club I could call my doctor and see him the next morning and get onto things, so I certainly encourage blokes out there to plan to see your doctor regularly and have those check-ups because things like this or anything can sneak up pretty quickly.
“And the earlier you get onto it the better.”
The mercurial forward took it easy for a few weeks after the chemotherapy but kept moving, doing light weights and jogging laps around nearby Henley Oval before it was time to get back into routine and front for day one of pre-season.
He was on a slightly modified program before Christmas but has been flat out ever since. He put on some weight after the treatment due to fluid intake but is back to his playing weight and looks as fit and strong as ever.
“Funnily enough this has been a lot better than last pre-season, I’ve done a lot more training and am feeling better,” he said.
“This time last year I was struggling a bit and ended up playing only a half of a JLT Game, but this year I’ve done a lot more match practice and once all that stuff (treatment) was out of the way I was keen to get back into things.”
Gray was a late withdrawal from last week’s AFLX tournament — of which he was to captain the Power side — after pulling up sore from training the day before, but he will play against West Coast in the JLT Series game on Sunday.
“The surgeon and doctors said I’d be okay and would get back to full health, so I never really thought that I was in any danger of not getting back to play footy or a delayed start,” he said.
“The club has brought in some guys who have played a fair bit of footy and we think they can help us and I’m looking forward to playing some games and see how we work together.
“The next two games will be important for that before the season starts, but the guys we’ve brought in will help us forward of centre, kick inside 50 and finish a bit better which we had issues with last year.”
Then it’s all eyes on Round 1 where, like last season, Gray expects to play mostly in front of goal after training with the forwards group over summer.
Apart from terrorising opposition defences and helping the Power return to the finals this season, the one thing he really can’t wait for is to walk down the race and into the rooms at Adelaide Oval where Annabel and Aston will be waiting for him.
“That’s what I’m most looking forward to, coming off the track after a game and seeing him (Aston) in the rooms, that will be really cool.”
Originally published as Parenthood perfect tonic for Port Adelaide Power star Robbie Gray after cancer diagnosis