Andrew McGrath reveals his AFL struggles after his father suffered a sudden setback following lifesaving kidney transplant
Andrew McGrath faced a big decision to stay or leave Essendon’s hub when his father was rushed to hospital following a kidney transplant. The star midfielder speaks for the first time about his family’s private pain this season.
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Andrew McGrath broke down in the hub.
His mother and sister were both in tears on the other end of the phone when they called with the bad news about Andrew’s dad.
Suddenly, his health had gone downhill.
Six days earlier, McGrath’s mother, Sandy, and his father, Mike, had both gone in for kidney transplant surgery.
Mike’s kidneys had begun to fail due to a long-running condition, and in one of those minor medical miracles, his wife was able to donate one of her kidneys to save her husband.
Surgeons were thrilled that husband and wife were a perfect donor match.
But less than a week after the initial lifesaving surgery, Mike’s condition deteriorated to the point that he required a second emergency operation.
Andrew had been feeling torn ever since he had left Melbourne for Essendon’s hub on the Gold Coast three weeks before the operations.
But when his sister’s name flashed up on his phone on Tuesday, July 28, and he heard Haleigh’s voice quiver with news of the sudden setback, McGrath’s stomach sank.
“After the first surgery it was an amazing feeling, thinking that my parents were going to be OK and I would come back to Melbourne and they would be happy and healthy,” McGrath told the Herald Sun.
“But I got an abrupt call from my sister and she was just in tears.
“I was in the team room hanging out in between team meetings and Haleigh just said, ‘Something’s happened with Dad and we don’t really know what is going on’.
“That is when I started to break down myself.
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“I thought, ‘This wasn’t meant to happen’.
“I spent the whole day in my room, I didn’t really tell too many people.”
The club threw all of its support behind McGrath, and his manager, Robbie D’Orazio, began making arrangements to organise the first flight out of Gold Coast to Melbourne.
A few days prior, the Bombers had beaten Adelaide by three points on a Sunday in Round 8, and the speedy and courageous McGrath shone once again, gathering 25 possessions.
Not only was McGrath somehow keeping himself together to this point, the jet midfielder and future Essendon captain was having a career-best season.
But more than anything, the 22-year-old just wanted to be strong for his family, and his footy team.
Over and over again in his Gold Coast hotel room the same question spun around his head: should I stay with the club in the hub? Or rush home?
It was an extraordinarily difficult call, and for those next few days McGrath hardly slept as the team prepared for the Round 9 clash against Brisbane Lions.
He kept checking his phone for the next update, desperately hoping it wasn’t more bad news.
McGrath kept training, but his mind was in another place.
“When Dad had the second surgery and was put in ICU for a few days the next few days were really quite difficult,” McGrath said.
“Things were on a knife’s edge for me the whole time. I was waking up every couple of hours checking my phone to see if there was another update. And at training I was there, but I wasn’t. I couldn’t really think about too much other than my family.
“I guess I was just waiting for a call or a text to say, ‘We need you to come home’.
“And it is tough preparing for games and being present with your teammates when you just don’t know whether you are going to play, or how much longer you are going to be up there for.
“In the end, I had a pretty stern conversation with my sister because Mum and Dad would never want me to come back regardless.
“But I said to her, ‘If you think I should be home I will be on the next flight and don’t feel bad about it’. Family comes first.
“It was definitely a scary time. It was very difficult and very emotional for us as a family, and a stressful couple of weeks.”
Thankfully, Mike’s condition gradually improved over those next few crucial days, and six weeks on Mum and Dad are on track to make full recoveries.
But not everyone is so lucky.
Mike spoke to the Herald Sun hoping to encourage people to become organ donors.
Professor John Kanellis, who is Head of Transplantation at Monash Medical, said there were more than 1000 Australians waiting for a kidney transplant.
“The average waiting time can be anywhere between two and 10 years,” Prof Kanellis said.
“That means people are stuck on dialysis waiting for a kidney competing with 1000 people around the country to get a kidney that is offered, when it comes up.
“So, there is a real need.”
Mike, who had received the gift of life from his own wife, was incredibly grateful for the support and strength of Haleigh, 25, and Noah, 19, and watched with immense pride how Andrew was able to keep focus for his team under enormous duress.
And this summer, if the COVID-19 protocols allow, the McGraths can’t wait to be back together as a family.
It is group-hug time because this, after all, is a love story, too.
“Sandy’s gift was lifesaving,” Mike McGrath said.
“Although it was a longshot because there wasn’t a genetic link, Sandy said she wanted to get tested first, and, remarkably there probably wasn’t a better match.
“When we first had that discussion I thought, ‘I don’t really know if I can accept this’.
“When you think about the vows you take when you get married this (organ transplant) isn’t one of them.
“But Sandy is remarkable. She is the most beautiful person and you see a lot of her in our children and certainly in Andrew there is a lot of his mother.
“Haleigh and Noah have just been outstanding the way they responded to everything and have supported us the whole time, really.
“And I saw Andrew’s determination and tenacity and struggle up in the hub and his unwavering commitment for the Essendon Football Club when I know how difficult that must have been for him.
“We feel really blessed with all three of our children.”
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The Bombers may well feel the same way about McGrath, the No.1 draft pick who is destined to become the future captain of a club which has endured another tough year.
For all the tumult, McGrath somehow maintained his exceptional on-field standards as the team’s form started to wane.
Remarkably, after that week of little sleep and his dad’s emergency procedure, the Brighton Grammar linebreaker was best-on ground for the Bombers, gathering a team-high 25 disposals in a 63-point loss to Brisbane.
“What gave me the most strength was the pure fact my parents said a highlight of their week was watching me go do my thing, and that gives them great strength to get through their recovery,” he said.
“Even thinking about that now, I get a bit emotional.”
While a season-ending syndesmosis injury finished his campaign in Round 15, he remained with the team to rehab his injury and offer his support.
“I wanted to finish the year strong with the footy club, but I’m excited about getting back with the family to make up for some lost time,” he said.
For more information about organ donation visit www.DonateLife.gov.au
McGRATH BACKS BOMBERS GAME PLAN
Essendon star midfielder Andrew McGrath says he plans to be at the club “for a very long time” despite sharing fans’ frustrations about the Bombers‘ lack of on-field progress this year.
The No.1 draft pick is close to recommitting to a contract extension that will confirm his faith in the club’s new game plan and direction under coach Ben Rutten for next season.
McGrath, one of the competition’s brightest midfield stars, said it had been a testing year on and off the field, but was adamant the Bombers were on the right track to enjoy some success “sooner rather than later”.
“We have changed our game plan a little bit and we have tinkered with certain things,” McGrath said.
“And although we haven’t got that quite right a bit of the time there has been quarters and patches in games where we have shown that our best is going to be sustainable against the best.
“There is plenty of frustration internally and externally about our results and where we are at the moment. The fans have a right to be frustrated and we are too.
“But we will be able to resurrect this and come back next year a much stronger outfit than what we showed this season.”
McGrath said the coaching succession plan had been working well behind the scenes with a lot of gains “in areas that might not be evident externally”.
Essendon is awaiting a decision from spearhead Joe Daniher about his future but McGrath said there was no doubt he personally belonged in red and black.
A new contract is expected to underline his standing as one of the club’s most important players and its future skipper.
“I love the footy club,” McGrath said.
“They put a lot of faith in me and I intend to be here for a very long time.
“I love the players, the coaching staff and I do everything every day at the football club to make the club better and I am looking forward to seeing and riding the highs and lows of the journey here.”
jay.clark@news.com.au
Originally published as Andrew McGrath reveals his AFL struggles after his father suffered a sudden setback following lifesaving kidney transplant