It’s important the money reaches those who need it most — the lawyers
FOOTY satirist Titus O’Reily emulates a report on the decision to not include legal fees under the salary cap as the ASADA investigation unfolds.
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FOOTY satirist Titus O’Reily emulates a report on latest ASADA developments:
LEGAL representatives for Essendon players affected by the ASADA investigation have welcomed a decision to not include legal fees under the salary cap.
“Essendon fans have been buying memberships in record numbers, “ said Essendon President Paul Little.
“It’s was important that money was unlocked for the people who need it most, lawyers.”
A lawyer representing several Essendon players involved said the AFL should be applauded for the decision.
“I’ve got three kids at private schools and we’re renovating the beach house. This couldn’t have come at a better time.”
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“Being able to bleed Essendon dry for a few more years is just great news for the whole legal profession.”
The AFL’s General Counsel Andrew Dillon said the decision was mainly based on a desire to really annoy ASADA.
“ASADA have not even returned Gillon’s calls. You want to be difficult? Well here’s a heap of money we’ve made available to fight you.”
Long time Essendon fan Michael Jones, said he had mixed feelings about the decision.
“I’m obviously thrilled it won’t be counted under our salary cap but I was kind of enjoying hating the AFL.”
“The decision has driven a truck through our conspiracy theories about the AFL being out to destroy us.
“I guess I can still keep blaming ASADA but it’s not the same.”
ASADA said they would have an interim response to the AFL’s decision ready in ‘two or three years.’
Titus O’Reily writes an increasingly popular footy blog. Read more at titusoreily.com and follow him @TitusOReily
Originally published as It’s important the money reaches those who need it most — the lawyers
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