Women are at their meanest about themselves

THE most inventive and brutal put downs of women don’t come from others, they come from ourselves, writes Jill Poulsen. Just watch what we do when someone gives us a compliment.

CUTTING ourselves down has become a national sport for Australian women.

“You look nice today,” one of our friends will say.

“Are you kidding, I’m the size of house,” we respond.

Shocking research released this week shows a massive 97 per cent of women engage in “fat talk”.

The study, by Jessica Pearson, revealed that the toxic language contributes to body discontent.

“When women participated in these fat talk conversations, they were more likely to engage in negative appearance-related behaviours, such as comparing their bodies to other women perceived as more attractive, or inspecting their bodies in a mirror or shop front window,” Ms Pearson said.

The Butterfly Foundation warns language around appearance and our bodies is something we should all be mindful of.

I’m as guilty as the next woman of placing undue importance on my appearance and running myself down in either an attempt to make someone else fee better or to have a “laugh” at myself.

But it’s the cheapest of laughs. I truly believe the way we look is the least interesting thing about us so I’m making a commitment to cut out the fat talk.

I’ve come up with some with alternative phrases I’m going to use to help curb the habit.

Commenting on someone’s weight is not appropriate, but it’s fairly common place. So next time someone says “you look great, have you lost weight?” try responding with: “Hey Jenny Craig, mind yo’ business.”

#fitspo images like this one from trainer Rebecca Gawthorne’s Instagram page are unlikely to make you feel good about yourself.

And unless this is how you already spend your free time, following the likes of Amanda Bisk is unlikely to be useful for your mental health.

It’ll be the last time they use their eyes to calculate your BMI.

When you offer a friend a Tim Tam and they say: “thanks, not that I need it” respond with “No one needs a Tim Tam but just take it and enjoy it, Sharon.”

If you see someone scrolling through Instagram drooling over a fitspo page saying “I wish I had a body like that” slap the phone out of their hands.

Steal the phone and go and unfollow all of the unhelpful pages filled with unrealistic images and replace them by following cute dogs. Cute dogs have never made anyone feel bad.

If you find that your clothes are fitting a little more snugly than usual don’t ask questions, just assume it’s the washing machine.

If someone pays you a compliment like: “you look lovely” just try and accept it without offering a self-deprecating comment.

I was reading the comments section on the fat talk story to try and get an idea of what people’s thoughts on the issue were.

There was plenty of people worried about Australia’s obesity crisis and not being able to have an honest conversation without worrying about people’s “feelings” but here’s the thing: you’re not a doctor.

You’re not even a nice person.

Not one person has been motivated into getting fit and losing weight by some dickhead on Facebook fat shaming them.

A person’s weight should be between them and their doctor.

It’s simply not your business.

Support for body image issues is available through the Butterfly Foundation 1800 33 4673.

Jill Poulsen is a Courier-Mail senior reporter.

@jill_poulsen

Originally published as Women are at their meanest about themselves