Want skin like Cate Blanchett? Try a ‘penis facial’
THINK you’d heard it all when it comes celebs and the lengths they’ll go to in order to preserve the fountain of youth? Think again, writes Siobhan Duck.
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THERE’S simply no polite way to put this.
Cate Blanchett says she owes her glowing complexion to a “penis facial”.
Yes, you read that right. It’s not a typo. The Melbourne-born actress recently divulged to Vogue that she and pal Sandra Bullock shelled out $840 each to have a serum made from the foreskins of babies rubbed into their faces.
Apparently some top facialist (that’s a fancy term for a beautician) extracts stem cells from the skin taken from babies when they are circumcised and turns it into a miracle face-cream for the overindulged ladies of Hollywood.
Wow. That is certainly taking recycling to a whole new and unwanted level.
Asked by the fashion bible what was the most outlandish treatment she had tried, Blanchett revealed it was a massage that Bullock had dubbed the “penis facial”.
She then went on to describe the smell as being something akin to a teenage boy’s bedroom. Call me old fashioned but I prefer to unwind with something fragrant like lavender oil on the rare occasion I treat myself to a facial.
Vogue has since deleted the controversial remarks, but it is too late. The truth is out there, and people are understandably shocked and appalled that this is now a thing.
Certainly, I thought I had heard it all when it came to extreme and ridiculous beauty practices. I was left aghast by the sight of Kimmy K’s visage smeared with her own blood from a so-called vampire facial.
Grosser still, I read with horror that Miranda Kerr and Demi Moore let leeches suck on their faces to keep themselves looking young and beautiful. And I will admit I giggled at the notion of Gwyneth Paltrow steaming her lady parts over a pricey hand-carved bowl in the pursuit of youth.
Elle Macpherson would have us believe that a daily dose of a special green powder known as a “super elixir” is responsible for her beyond-enviable figure. Luckily for us, we mere mortals, can purchase a small bottle of said powder for $150, A small price to pay for the body and looks of a super model, I’m sure you would agree!
It’s equally irritating when celebrities try to downplay the lengths they go to look good.
Our own Nicole Kidman credits suncream — not a syringe — with keeping her 50-year-old face smooth and wrinkle free.
And then there are all those who bang on about drinking eight glasses of water a day. Or doing hot yoga. Or, worst of all, “eating clean”.
I guess we can be grateful that Blanchett at least owns up to her outlandish efforts at maintaining herself.
This is not the first time Blanchett has claimed something pricey and absurd was responsible for her age-defying appearance.
Not all that long ago she advised us that leftover water from a sake brewery gave her a crystal clear complexion. That was back when she was the spokesperson for the Japanese skincare line SK II. I admit I fell for that, hook line and sinker, and spent way too much money buying a bottle of that stuff hoping that each wipe would give me the radiance of a double-Oscar winner.
It didn’t. More than $200 later I looked exactly the same but smelled like I had been doing shots in a bar in downtown Tokyo. It seems there’s a reason that sake is meant to be drunk and not rubbed on one’s face. Plus, I’m guessing that if you drink enough of it, you stop worrying about your skin anyway.
It’s true that I am a sucker for overpriced beauty treatments. I’ll give most things a bash in the pursuit of the fountain of youth. But I have neither the bank balance nor the stomach for Blanchett’s latest suggestion.
There is no doubting the actress looks amazing. But I’m guessing that has a lot more to do with good genes.
Any other claim is just bollocks.
Originally published as Want skin like Cate Blanchett? Try a ‘penis facial’