Time to cut Barnaby Joyce some slack
IT may well have been his own doing, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have some empathy for what Barnaby Joyce is going through, writes Sian Jaquet.
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AM I the only person who is beginning to feel a little uncomfortable as we see yet another public figure disintegrate bit by bit?
At the moment it’s Barnaby Joyce. And I’m going to ask that we collectively stand back for a moment and suspend our own personal judgments and ask, are we, in fact, witnessing a human being in crisis?
Mr Joyce was a successful, skilled, and experienced politician. Regardless of your political persuasion, it’s fair to say that on some level we can respect him for his contribution and commitment to the world of Australian politics. The question we may need to ask ourselves is why a man with such vast experience has seemingly imploded under the media spotlight? I think we may well be witnessing a very public midlife crisis.
Both personally and professionally, this man’s life is falling apart around him. Yes, it may well appear to be of his own making, but surely that doesn’t mean we can’t have any empathy. Midlife crisis is a ‘thing’ a very, very real thing for many people — especially those in leadership positions.
These are just a few of the clinical symptoms: encouraging a series of dramatic irrational events, discontentment with life, including people and things that previously provided fulfilment, restless need to do something completely different, confusion about who you are and where your life is going, sexual affairs (especially with someone much younger), greatly increased or decreased ambition.
Let me be absolutely clear when sharing with you this opinion, I am not a liberal bleeding heart trying to find excuses for inexcusable behaviour, I am merely suggesting that we look at the demise of this man, and seek some human, rational explanation. And we can do that at the same time as being personally disappointed that he or any other man for that matter, has let down his former wife and four daughters, that he has threatened the stability of a nation’s government, and demonstrated consistent hypocrisy in relation to a so-called faith and alignment to professional ethics.
If, as I suspect, Mr Joyce is suffering significant stress, he may well deserve some of our sympathy. I am encouraged by his decision to seek some time out and re-evaluate his life.
In my professional world, I work with too many male leaders who believe they are indestructible, and psychologically made of tougher stuff than the rest of us. But we are all susceptible to our psychological selves taking a sharp right turn under pressure, where we find ourselves behaving erratically and inappropriately.
Mr Joyce may not of recent months, been the poster boy for marriage, parenthood or professional integrity, however, if he has now chosen to prioritise his health and psychological wellbeing, then I applaud his choice as positive, male leadership role modelling.
My personal message to Barnaby is this: In future weeks you will undoubtedly find yourself in some dark places of despair, where you will begin to ask yourself, “how the hell did I let this happen to the people I love?”. The answer lies in re-evaluating your core values, reassessing who you now choose to be. Be brave enough to admit that you need help from a skilled professional to support you in stabilising your thoughts and actions. Having worked with many men in public leadership roles who have found themselves in similarly stressful situations I have observed it is the ones who choose to prioritise their role as a father, as the first, most positive step, who have the most success regaining emotional stability and peace.
Barnaby let me be clear, all of your children need you, decide who you need to be for them. What are the core values of a great father? If you start rebuilding your life from that core belief, you will recover from this excruciatingly painful chapter in your life. The mothers of your children may not like what you have done and who they perceive you have become, but every mother wants the father of their children to be the best man he can be. You are not the first and you will not be the last public figure to suffer a midlife crisis on a public stage. Humiliation and embarrassment are extraordinarily powerful learning tools if you are brave enough to take stock, dig deep and learn.
Sian Jaquet is an executive coach and professional speaker.