Taking personal responsibility is not victim-blaming

Some argue it is unacceptable to say that when you drink alcohol you leave yourself open to assault and rape. But we must take the dangerous effects of alcohol seriously.

We have swung so far against victim-blaming that we are negating the empowerment and importance of making carefully informed decisions. (Pic: iStock)

It is never acceptable, it seems, to hold someone accountable anymore. We have become allergic to using two loaded words: the b-word (blame) and the f-word (fault).

If you drop the f-bomb or use the b-word, brace yourself as you walk a dizzyingly lonely tightrope with a jeering crowd starring and pointing at you in disgust. We have swung so far against victim-blaming that we are negating the empowerment and importance of making carefully informed decisions.

One perturbing article attempted to enforce the notion that it is unacceptable to say that when you drink alcohol you leave yourself open to assault and rape. I read it filled with fear. Is this the correct message to be sending? We must take the dangerous effects of alcohol seriously — and they are vast.

Saying when you drink alcohol you leave yourself open to assault or rape is entirely different to saying when you drink alcohol you deserve to be assaulted or raped.

To shun the first is preaching an ill-conceived, dangerous message and fuelling a generation that is so focused on shunning victim-blaming that they are losing sight of the other half of the un-puzzling puzzle. That is, the crucial necessity to draw a line between personal responsibility that is before an event, and victim-blaming that is post.

We are all culpable for our choices. As adults we must take responsibility for ourselves and take the potential consequences of our choices extremely seriously. On a night out, we must assess the danger of where we are going, what local laws and culture surrounds us, who we are going with, how much we drink and do all that we can to protect our safety. This is the pre-zone of personal responsibility.

If, while out, we choose to consume copious amounts of alcohol it is a cold hard fact that our judgment will be affected, we may talk to people we might not have if we were stone cold sober, knowing nothing or little about them. When we consume alcohol our barriers come down, we may make poor choices and are our safety may be jeopardised. In short, we are putting ourselves in more danger.

The world is not fair and neither is it safe. Before leaving our homes we have to consider what “might” happen. We are taught “stranger danger” when we are young and that threat doesn’t diminish as we age.

No one wants to live in constant fear but there are no shortage of hideous news headlines serving as reminders that the world which is discussed in calm, air-conditioned meeting rooms is not the bleak, harsh world that heaves around us.

People who don’t have good intentions aren’t easy to spot; they walk among us, invisible in society and dwell in dorms. Risks are real. Awareness and self-protection are empowerment.

Ghastly things don’t only happen to someone else. Wanting to see the good in people is all well and good but the reality is that revolting horrors do lurk, repulsive people do exist and harm can be just around the corner.

Personal responsibility is a mindset and if you take it seriously, you have done all that you can, pre-event. After this, the thin red line is drawn and of course, there is no blame to sit at the feet of victims.