Shaynna Blaze: Australia’s heart has broken for Hannah Clarke, as it should

Hannah, Laianah, Aaliyah and Trey. Remember those names and speak them often. Keeping the memory of all those lost to family violence is the only way we can ever hope to change it, writes Shaynna Blaze.

I woke up on Thursday morning and, like many of you, I was sickened by the news that Hannah Clarke had succumbed to the burns she sustained when her estranged husband burnt her and their children alive in her car.

Slowly, as more information filtered through, we learned of the couple’s separation, the closure of their business, and details of how the father jumped into the car as they were on the way to school, poured petrol on them, and started a fire.

What happened wasn’t an accident, and the fire didn’t start itself. So, let’s call it out for what it was. Murder. This man murdered his family.

It exhausts and enrages me on a weekly basis to learn of another mother leaving her partner to protect herself and her children from domestic violence, only to be murdered as that partner loses control of the situation.

Hannah Clarke with her children.

I don’t know this couple, I don’t know them as a family, and I do not know their personal story, but there is an undeniable pattern of control that is linked to domestic violence.

Hannah had taken her children to stay with her parents, where she thought they were safe. She had left her partner. She had done what she thought was right for her family. She had done what society expects of a mother when she feels she and her children are in danger in some way. If you are not in a good place, you leave the situation.

But what about the high percentage of women who are murdered by a partner after they leave? In many instances, women living with family violence are safer in the home of their abuser than they are leaving beacuse that is when the threat on their lives escalates appreciably.

As Family and Community Services NSW points out, “It’s important to be aware that the time leading up to and just after leaving can be the most dangerous for a person leaving abuse. Telling the abuser that the relationship is over can result in an increase in violence.”

One woman dies every week at the hands of a current or former partner. That statistic becomes even more harrowing when you add in the children’s lives lost to family violence.

How is this happening?

Hannah had taken her children to stay with her parents, where she thought they were safe.

Domestic violence is a disease in our society and there is no quick solution. There are many frameworks and programs in place with the government, the police and with organisations dedicated to fighting family violence, however some people relying on these organisations feel frustrated because they don’t feel they are getting the help they need, and real action can’t be taken unless the perpetrator commits or threatens violence. They even feel invisible to the outside world.

Resources available to support people living with family violence are overstretched due to the sheer number of women and children relying on them, which in itself is hugely concerning. These issues cannot be solved quickly, but there are so many incredible people working tirelessly to help those in dire situations.

If we are to have any chance of deleting domestic violence as a society and a community, we need to look at prevention and education, and we need to look at our cultural stance on equality and turning a blind eye.

We need to stand up to individuals wherever we witness abuse, misogyny and inequality.

The media has to stop identifying murderers as “good fathers,” highlighting their sporting prowess, celebrity, community contributions and career achievements above the names of their victims.

Hannah Clarke with her son, Trey. Picture: supplied

We need to stand up in the broadcast news, print media, and on social media, and say that it is NOT OK, and that we do NOT want to live in a society that treats the murder of women and children as secondary to the qualities of a so-called “good man” who commit heinous crimes.

For the past two years my children, Carly and Jess and I have been working on a movie about domestic violence. During that time we’ve heavily researched the impact of domestic violence and what we can do to help bring about long-term change once the movie is released.

As a society we need to look at communication skills, anger management and gender equality in our primary schools, high schools, in our workplace culture, and in our homes.

We have to take responsibility for our actions, and we have to stand up and say: “enough is enough. We do NOT accept domestic violence and it has no place in our society”.

Organisations such as Our Watch work in the field of family violence prevention and provide guidelines on what you can do as an individual, a business, and as a school to start making change. I ask you to make the time to take a look at where you can make a difference now, and for the future.

Hannah, Laianah, Aaliyah and Trey. Remember their names. Speak their names. We must not be silent. We cannot accept that these weekly murders are our normal.

Shaynna Blaze is an Interior Designer and Australian television presenter on Selling Houses Australia & The Block.