‘Nobody does a revenge body like Kate Middleton’

Are the rumours of a Meghan vs Kate feud true? My money says they are. You only have to pay attention to Kate Middleton’s latest moves to see why, writes Claire Harvey.

Is there a feud going on between Kate and Meghan?

Did Harry really say: “What Meghan wants, Meghan gets?”

Did Her Maj actually have to tell the world’s pushiest new princess to back away from the emeralds?

We may never know whether all these “palace rumours” are real. But I’m tipping they are coming from several genuinely cheesed-off real royal staff, and here’s Exhibit A for the prosecution: the diamond-dripping sparkle and blow-dried vivacity with which the Duchess of Cambridge has re-emerged from her third round of maternity leave with a physique that puts Gwyneth Paltrow to shame.

Nobody does a revenge body quite like Kate Middleton. She’s 36, a mother of three preschoolers, and smoking hot. And now, more than at any time since joining the Royal Family, Catherine is making it her business to effortlessly embody regal sophistication and poise while Meghan endures her first round of morning sickness.

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The Duchess of Cambridge during a State visit by King Willem-Alexander and Queen Maxima of the Netherlands in October. Picture: John Stillwell/PA Wire

Meghan famously wore Diana’s aquamarine cocktail ring at her wedding after-party. Catherine has emerged in recent weeks wearing not just Diana’s enormous sapphire engagement ring, but also her signature tiara, featuring a circlet of golfball-sized pearls and enough diamonds to restock the Kimberley.

Meghan shows up at public events with her hair blowing across her face and the tag of her dress — inevitably chosen from a battalion of utterly unattainable top-drawer labels — hanging below her hem.

Catherine carefully chooses and then recycles a combination of designer and high-street garments, often featuring several versions of the same item in different colours, and her coif is always perfect, whether it’s the bouncy curls that launched a billion blow-dries, or the elegant chignon that best shows off her bejewelled earlobes. It’s not so long ago that England’s B-List minor aristocracy were busy snickering “doors to manual” every time Kate’s mother Carole, a former airline hostess, appeared anywhere near the royal family.

But something nobody has ever said about Catherine is that she is imperious or rude to the staff. I suspect she’s way too smart for that.

Now, don’t hate me for caring about this stuff. I’m of the Princess Diana generation; little girls who grew up in the crumpled-silk shadow of the most influential woman of the 20th century. Our interest in the Windsor women is deeply ingrained. I can’t help caring.

And as a dedicated admirer of Catherine, I’ve struggled to overcome my delight every time this sensible English girl triumphs in the sophistication stakes over a Hollywood actress who, on paper, should be last word in glamour.

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I suspect the rumours of a feud come from genuinely cheesed-off palace staff.

Now I’m giving up the pretence. I’m officially on Team Kate. Judge me if you will. Piers Morgan, the wickedly gossipy and frequently appalling former editor of The Daily Mirror, wrote in the Daily Mail this week of how Meghan “ghosted” him immediately after she met Prince Harry. Having cultivated, flattered and praised Morgan for several years, apparently because of his importance as a cultural influencer on both sides of the Atlantic, Meghan abruptly dropped her “friend” and ignored all his attempts at communication as soon as Harry was in the offing. Morgan describes the day he and Meghan enjoyed a convivial 90-minute catch-up at his favourite London pub, on her suggestion, and she left with a fond kiss and a message thanking him for all his friendship.

That very evening, she met Harry. And Morgan never heard from Meghan again.

“Meghan Markle is a self-obsessed professional actress who has landed the role of her life and is determined to milk it for all she’s worth,” Morgan wrote.

Maybe, I wondered, Meghan ghosted Piers because Harry told her she couldn’t have anything more to do with members of the media.

That seems unlikely, though, given the royal brothers, Harry and William, are openly friends with several journalists. They’re also both — like their mother — canny enough to know the news media are critical to their campaigning work for causes they care about.

Meghan seems like a survivor. I suspect she’ll work out how to triumph in her new world. Good manners would be a start.

Claire Harvey is the deputy editor of the Sunday Telegraph.

@chmharvey