Louise Roberts: George Floyd riots in the US must be a teachable moment for parents
It’s parenting 101 to tell children that violence is not the answer. But with the US protests dominating news around the world, now is the time to have the hard conversations, writes Louise Roberts.
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There’s nothing like smashing store windows and helping yourself to boxes of designer trainers to pay homage to a black man allegedly murdered by a white cop.
Sarcastic? Perhaps. But also a necessary antidote to some of the coverage of the escalating of violence in the US, which has in far too many cases excused rank greed and violence in the name of avenging very real grievances.
It’s particularly the case when it comes to our bewildered kids to see that in the midst of race, fury and inexcusable vandalism, the real message is here: don’t give in to the mob.
As mums and dads, we know that the “parenting 101” message we teach our kids is that anger and violence solves nothing and ignites everything.
We drum it into our kids, especially our boys as we endeavour to dilute hormones, machismo, tempers and immaturity
So instead of changing the subject while America smashes and burns itself into the ground, let’s make it a teachable moment.
The stress of the coronavirus crisis has already brought a feeling of hopelessness to lives globally. But none of the division and racial violence following George Floyd’s death has anything to do with a man who died near a gutter after a cop knelt on his throat.
It should also serve as a warning to go gently out of hibernation. We have been cocooned from the world while in lockdown and need to be mindful that re-entering society is going to be stressful and at times difficult.
If it’s challenging for us as adults to get out there, knowing life will likely never be the same, and having the spectre of COVID hanging over us all the time, it is much worse for our children and teenagers.
Avoiding the topic of the US riots is not a solution. Silence from us is unhelpful. And we may not have the answers and that’s OK.
The anarchy spilling onto the streets of the US has been dominating the conversation at our family’s dinner table for days. My teenage son is firing questions at me because the George Floyd death is almost Shakespearean in its execution of pathos and retribution and the way it is being used to justify abhorrent behaviour.
The biggest question of course is why? How did the death – tragic of course – of one single man become the catalyst for such international rage? And why do US landmarks like the White House, New York’s Broadway and the Lincoln Memorial look like scenes from Hollywood action films with masked national guards, riot squad police, secret service and thugs looking to brawl with anyone.
Now the protests have reached Australian shores and there are even more questions, many laced with fear.
But by delving in the US riots, we can show our children the human side of mindless violence.
Such as local firefighter and owner of Scores Sports Bar Korboi “KB” Balla, who says he has lost his dream business in an instant after it was destroyed, looted and vandalised by rioters in Minnesota.
“The building and my business was completely burned down last night,” he wrote in a GoFundMe post. “I am devastated but I know something positive will come out of all this. Stay blessed everyone!”
His small business was gearing up for its grand opening after being delayed by the coronavirus pandemic and Balla put his life savings into the business, CBS reported.
“It was all coming together and when COVID-19 hit, the reality of not being able to open for a grand opening was difficult,” he added. “To find out that the countless hours, hard work, late nights away from my kids, and family had all been for nothing was soul shattering. It is not the material things, more so the time that cannot be reclaimed.”
And his wife Twyana Balla who wrote on Facebook: “It’s so easy to say what people should and shouldn’t do until it affects you! Yes, people are mad and upset, I get that and I understand the protest, I’m hearing people say F*** the business they have insurance WELL WE DON’T AND THIS IS ALL OUT OF POCKET!!!
“Let someone come run in your home and loot for the cause and then let’s see you be OK with it! This is your neighbourhood and if you have children you couldn’t even walk them down the street because everything is burning or destroyed.”
Those men, women and adolescents swarming the streets, many of them wearing masks to protect their identities, are looting shops, hurling rocks, fireworks and abuse – all in the name of a man they never knew.
Our kids may not see us huddled around the nightly news in the same way that our parents used to so we have to create that space for conversation.
Do the ‘protesters’ really know why they are there? No.
Do they really believe in their cause? No.
They fall into an immediate and cliched narrative but forget what is happening here.
Again the lesson. Don’t give into the mob.
We teach our children from a very young age that you don’t hit your sibling if he or she takes your toy. But we also need to keep teaching them about anger because it does not come with a tap. Especially our boys, how to harness their rage and release it in a safe and useful way.
For my son that outlet is the gym and for a friend, her boys tackle the boxing bag hung up under the house.
As for the destruction of countless American cities, what started with a packet of cigarettes allegedly bought with a dodgy $20 led to footage of a death in custody and protests around the world.
But we cannot just tell our children ever to turn off anger and push it down, or “get over it”.
And that’s because we are seeing the effects of that right now on the streets of the US.