Judith Locke: Five family-friendly resolutions for the new year

Thinking about New Year’s resolutions? Psychologist Dr Judith Locke has some suggestions of things you can do in 2020 to improve the wellbeing of your entire family.

Well, we’re counting down to the end of the decade and a new one is about to start, so our thoughts might turn to resolutions to make next year go slightly better.

Let me offer some suggestions of some things you can do in 2020 for the whole family’s wellbeing.

1. Eat more meals together

The act of sitting down and eating a meal together has huge benefits for the whole family and particularly children.

We know dinner table conversation improves children’s conversational skills, vocabulary, and school results. We also know it has a positive impact on your family’s wellbeing and sense of togetherness as you get to check in with each other. To make this better quality time, have no screens present, including the television, or phones at the table. Also make it more of a family activity by involving everyone in the preparation and clean up – even young ones can help set the table.

2. Make your child a little more independent

To help your child grow up, they need to do more things for themselves – that means you doing less for them.

Every year you should find a few things you currently do for your child, teach them how to do those things themselves, and then let them take responsibility for them. So, maybe this is the year that they learn how to dress themselves, have a shower, pack their school bag, remind themselves of homework, wash their uniform, or make their lunch.

Eat more meals together … but not necessarily in front of the TV.

Remember you do them a favour by teaching them independence. Every year they do not add more actions to their to-do list, means they are being held back from growing up and having the self-satisfaction of being more responsible for their lives. With these increased tasks, you might add some increased rights for them, such as a slightly later bedtime. This means they do more chores, but they also get a little more freedom.

3. Be less busy

We live in a society filled with things to do and many parents have responded by overscheduling themselves and their children.

There is no real joy in being too busy. It robs you of time to relax and makes you more tense and irritable. Overscheduled kids who only do organised activities don’t have as much free play time to use their imagination or learn better social skills.

READ MORE FROM JUDITH LOCKE: Struggling with a misbehaving tween? This could be the key

This year schedule some free time. Carve out times on the weekend when you are not going to do anything or afternoons in the week where your child does not have activities.

4. Have screen free times

On a similar note, screens can be relaxing but often are overused, and you can turn recreation time into endless and listless scrolling or full days without proper physical activity.

Ideally try to have screen free times of at least two hours for the whole family on the weekend, where no one is allowed to watch television or use their phone or computer.

It’s important that children don’t become glued to their screens.

5. Manage your child’s behaviour

I am always shocked by the number of parents who come to see me and tell me they have not really been able to manage their child’s behaviour for years. They typically report that over the years and it has become progressively worse.

READ MORE FROM JUDITH LOCKE: Family rules to help kick your child’s phone addiction

If this is an issue for you, make this the year they learn that they need to follow your instructions. To aid this endeavour, use effective consequences that teach them to calm down and behave in an appropriate manner again. If this is a big problem for you, go and get professional help (you see the psychologist).

Originally published as Judith Locke: Five family-friendly resolutions for the new year