Hey Malcolm Turnbull, have we got a slogan for you

The slight oversight of using a punchline from Veep to launch policy discourse is a perfect opportunity to come up with a better slogan for the PM. How about: “That’s not a knife”?

Political slogan brainstorming time, guys. Gather around. We’re looking for ideas. Original ideas. Turns out Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull’s old catchphrase “Continuity with change” has actually been used.

It featured in TV political satirical comedy Veep as a joke about nonsensically trite political platitudes.

So we need to come up with another idea. Something original this time. Something no one’s ever heard before, especially not in a TV or a movie. And you know what? Veep was right. This slight oversight about unknowingly using a frivolous TV punchline as a serious attempt to launch policy discourse is actually a perfect opportunity to come up with a better turn of phrase to connect with the Australian voters.

OK, anyone jump in with an idea. What’s the first thing that worked about Turnbull’s existing slogan? Anyone?

That’s right, the continuity. People want stability. People want calm. People want serenity. So try this on for a potential slogan: “How’s the serenity?”

No? You guys don’t like that idea? It sounds familiar? Are you sure it doesn’t just sound familiar because it resonates so strongly that it just feels like something you’ve always known deep down in your heart of hearts? No? It’s a catchphrase from the Australian comedy movie The Castle? OK. Can’t use that one. Let’s stay on this train of thought though, calm and serene, to counter that awful violent language used by journalists about knifing Tony Abbott.

“That’s not a knife”? I love it. That’s perfect. That’s why we persist and push ourselves to keep brainstorming, because we can come up with great ideas like this one.

Serenity now, Mr Turnbull. Serenity now. (Pic: AAP Image/Mick Tsikas)

Wait, what’s the problem? That’s already a famous quote from Crocodile Dundee? OK, OK, OK, let’s shake up this brainstorming session. Approach it from a different angle. What is the second thing that works about the “continuity with change” slogan other that continuity? Change, yes. What original ideas can we come up with inspired by the idea of revitalised leadership and that distances Turnbull from the unpopularity of Abbott.

“Hello, new man!” Fantastic! No? It’s from Seinfeld?

C’mon, guys, brainstorm. We’re looking for an original political slogan. Surely, it can’t be that hard to come up with a phrase that’s meaningful and rouses people into political action and that isn’t already widely known as popular culture catchphrase.

Getting specific will help up avoid cliches. Specifics about the building industry, for example, support beams or government ministers as support beams for Turnbull’s towering leadership.

“Beam me up, Scott Morrison?” No, too formal. Make it more casual.

“Beam me up, Scotty.” Better. Hang on, can we just check that’s not the exact phrase Captain Kirk used on Star Trek when he wanted to reboard the Starship Enterprise?

Oh. Darn it.

Don’t slow down, though. Keep those creative juices flowing, guys. Think original political slogans for Turnbull that aren’t, and I cant stress this enough, that aren’t already catchphrases from TVs and movies.

Turnbull has the political will to make change that others have lacked and do lack. We need to address directly our rivals who don’t have the same political will.

“What you talking about, will-less?”

No. That’s from Diff’rent Strokes. Right, no one is leaving this brain storming session until we figure out just one word, one single word, that we can use as a political slogan for Turnbull that isn’t already famous pop culture catchphrase. One word. What are Liberal Party values? Start there. Wealth creation, money, dough.

“Dough”?

D’oh!