Harry, it’s time to start doomsday prepping

Taking up meditation may be a great way to keep the pressures of royal life at bay, but good luck finding 20 minutes of silent time when a baby arrives, writes Kerry Parnell.

Meditate on this Harry: Not only will you never have five minutes to yourself again after you become a dad, you will also be unable to think straight.

Forget about sitting around chanting, “Om”, you’re about to embark on an adventure that will leave you sleep-deprived, brain-addled and unable to have any time to yourself, including going to the loo.

That will last for the next 18 years. (Maybe not the loo part, to be fair).

This week Prince Harry admitted he has taken up meditating, telling a Buddhist monk on Monday that he does it every day.

Meghan, Duchess of Sussex has long been a devotee, writing on her old blog The Tig that she meditates twice a day for 20 minutes each time. “I can’t put my finger on the why or the how, but I will tell you this much, for me … I am just happier. And meditation has much to do with that,” she said.

Prince Harry and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex are set to welcome their first child in the coming weeks. Picture: Charlotte Graham/AP

I wonder if you can stockpile mindfulness, Doomsday Prepper-style? If so, I would encourage them both to fill their mental bunkers to the brim with it, as meditation and newborn babies are not terms often seen together.

As any new parent knows — but will rarely admit, as everyone lies — when that baby arrives, no amount of mental preparation will equip you for the reality. It’s like accidentally signing up for an SAS training camp in your pyjamas, only you can’t burst into tears and leave. Ever. The first time you realise the baby is going to need feeding every three hours around the clock — and that it takes you an hour to do so each time — is quite the revelation.

All that time you spent previously thinking about nothing but yourself, workshopping your emotions? Yep, that life stage is over.

If that all sounds a little confronting, Harry could start a dad’s group with Duncan Jones, David Bowie’s son. This week the filmmaker sparked social media outrage by having the audacity to tell the truth about parenting. The dad of two-year-old son Stenton and nine-month old daughter Zowie wrote on Twitter, “I’ll tell you something I never see anyone admit …” the tweet began.

Time for meditation is likely to be in short supply when the Duke and Duchess’s first child arrives. Picture: Danny Lawson/Getty

“They are exhausting, frustrating and life-destabilising. They are rarely fun. Sure, smiles are great, hugs are lovely, but it’s hard and not obviously a good choice in life. This is where people feel compelled to say, ‘I wouldn’t change it for the world!’ But you know … Of course I’d reconsider! It’s exhausting! It’s banal! It’s like looking after a dog you can’t house-train. We haven’t had dinner together once in nine months, & we have gone out alone together once, for two hours.”

Naturally people piled in on him for being honest. But it is the truth — if you haven’t got a fleet of nannies doing all the grunt work behind the scenes (and admittedly, Harry and Meghan will have), parenting very small children is all-consuming. Literally, there will be nothing of you left. You will be physically exhausted, your brain will be a puddle, but your heart will be exploding with love of the kind you have never experienced before.

Just a few things for Harry to be mindful of … while he speed-dials Norland Nannies.

@KerryParnell