Why Dad jokes are the very best form of comedy
They make us groan and wince — and every so often actually laugh — but the ‘dad joke’ has the unique power to make us love their teller just that little bit more. Especially on Father’s Day, writes Kerry Parnell.
Rendezview
Don't miss out on the headlines from Rendezview. Followed categories will be added to My News.
I adore bad dad jokes.
Science has been slow to discover what the chemical process is that turns a relatively normal fellow into a one-man pun machine the moment he reproduces.
Maybe it’s a coping mechanism, maybe it’s playing to a kindergarten audience, maybe there’s a secret society that women don’t know about that meets and distributes mortifying material on a regular basis.
No matter, I love them and the dads who make them. I hope they never go out of fashion — which they don’t appear to be doing, if the scores of books and websites are any indication. Stuck for new material? Try 101 So Bad They’re Good Dad Jokes, or visit Dad Jokes Australia on Facebook, which an Aussie mate described as “like the Library of Alexandria for dad jokes”, to which a British friend swiftly responded, “Or try Dad Jokes UK — just like Dad Jokes Australia, only funny.”
MORE FROM KERRY PARNELL: Running has brought me back from the brink
My dad, who recently celebrated his 80th birthday, is the granddaddy of bad dad jokes. He has so many he could print The John Parnell Encyclopaedia of Dad Jokes — or, if he had ever switched on a computer — become the Webinar King of Corn, or an Instagram Bad Dad Influencer. So many missed opportunities.
They are high calibre — of the “What do you call a zoo with only one small dog in it? A Shih tzu” genre. Or “I told my wife she’d drawn her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.”
The cornier the better; there’s something life-affirming about groaning at a pathetic pun, or a cheesy gag. They’re innocent (ish) fun that, especially if repeated for 50 years become family jokes, binding everyone together. Like my friend’s dad who carves the Christmas turkey and says, “That’s me sorted, what’s everyone else having?” every single year, or my father, who has sung “pass the dutchie ’pon the left-hand side” as he hands the peas round, at every dinner since 1982.
MORE FROM KERRY PARNELL: Being a tree hugger helped me overcome terrible sadness
Admittedly it was slightly concerning when Dad recently expanded his audience to the waiting room of the emergency department of his local hospital, but luckily nobody seemed to be offended. Or maybe they were too sick say so.
A hospital visit was not the way I had envisaged spending the weekend with my parents, but on the plus side, it gave me six hours of quality bonding time with Dad. Well, when I say bonding, obviously I mean listening to his entire back catalogue of dad jokes. In that way that only men of his generation can do he managed to make friends with everyone in the waiting room and perform his one-man stand-up routine to a literally captive audience. Only one woman slowly wheeled away, anyway.
By chance two of his new buddies were in with giant cysts on their backs, which were, they informed us, “starting to burst”.
“I wondered what the smell was,” one said, “Then I realised it was me.
“It went all over the back of my shower cubicle,” he continued, adding, “it looks just like cottage cheese.”
While I practised deep-breathing exercises with my head between my knees, my dad delivered his driest one-liner ever. “Anyone waiting for you at home, mate?” he inquired. “No,” his buddy said, sadly.
MORE FROM KERRY PARNELL: Why has Meghan Markle lost her sparkle?
It was the perfect gag. Pun intended.
Six of the best dad jokes
1. What’s the difference between a wildebeest and a bison? You can’t wash your face in a wildebeest.
2. “I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don’t know who got my moped but I’ve been driving that Peugeot for years.” (Courtesy of the late great Victoria Wood.)
3. I forgot how to throw a boomerang the other day — then it came back to me.
4. I used to be a werewolf, but I’m all right noooooOOOOOOWWW.
5. Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
6. “I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.” (Courtesy of Tim Vine.)