Cass Thorburn’s Divorce Story podcast is a gift to Aussie women
Say what you will about a bitter ex and scorned lover, Cassandra Thorburn’s newest project will help more people than her ex’s TV gags ever will, writes Nama Winston.
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Full disclosure; I’m a massive fan of Karl Stefanovic, and to date, I’ve been fairly indifferent to his ex-wife, Cassandra Thorburn.
I’ve got nothing against her, but, you know, Stefanovic’s the one I’m waking up with every day, and Thorburn’s not been on my radar.
But all that’s about to change.
Thorburn, now a single mum to the three kids from her marriage, is back with a new podcast, Divorce Story – Surviving Separation, that dropped on Wednesday morning.
Speaking with co-host Annaliese Dent, the podcast is a 12-episode series that, according to its description, “will help you navigate your separation, provide advice from experts and help you relaunch your life post-divorce.”
Sounds straightforward enough. Speaking to experts – that sounds helpful. And Thorburn certainly seems qualified to co-host, considering her own experience from the 2016 unexpected end of her 21-year-old marriage.
But from the online reaction, you’d think she was selling a slimy tell-all version of the story.
Apart from being called “low rent”, “bitter” and “desperate”, some other reactions from the public included:
“Get over it, you’re not the only one who’s gone through a divorce.”
“Flogging a dead horse.”
“Still riding on his [Karl’s] coat tails.”
“Don’t like him, now losing respect for her too.”
“Leave him alone.”
“THINK OF THE CHILDREN.”
To that I have to say, steady on, people.
Yes, in the past, Thorburn has been brutally honest about her famous ex. In October 2017, she said that her ex-husband was now “dead” to her.
“The children still have a father but I don’t have a husband,” Thorburn said. “He really is dead to me and no, we won’t ever be friends again.”
I’d say most women whose marriage unexpectedly comes to an end after staying home and spending decades raising the children while sacrificed their career to support their husband’s would feel similarly.
But let’s remember, that was in 2017, just a year after the marriage ended.
Let’s also remember, Thorburn was once an accomplished journalist, and a children’s author. In fact, being a journo is how she met Stefanovic in the first place. So, could it be that the 48-year-old is simply returning to her career in media and using her life experience in the job, the way we all do every day?
Judging by the first episode of Divorce Story, the answer to those questions is yes.
The discussion focuses on knowing when a relationship is over. There’s an interview with a psychiatrist, with the CEO of Relationships Australia, and Thorburn talks about the book Plan B, and how it helped her deal with the sudden ending of a relationship.
“Any trauma has to be grieved,” she says. “And divorce is a trauma.”
At one point during the episode, Thorburn admits, “When I was having a really awful time in my marriage, I went to my GP, and requested a mental health plan. Because relationship stress has such a huge impact on your health and mental health, I was able to get 10 [therapy] sessions at a very reduced rate.”
In terms of managing a former spouse, she advises, “You can’t take all of it to heart. It’s not as personal as you think it is.”
This all sounds like balanced, helpful information to me.
At one point, Thorburn does admit, “I’m over my ex-husband”, but only in the context of questions from friends post-divorce. It’s clear that she’s being careful – never referring to Karl by name, when that’s obviously who she’s talking about.
Inevitably, Thorburn is unlikely to reveal much about him. But, just like the rest of us, she is allowed to tell her truth, and people’s love of Stefanovic shouldn’t silence her.
Sharing our experiences is the basic premise of everything we do online these days, usually to inform/inspire/guide others in the same position.
The podcast isn’t a platform for Thorburn to air her grievances or vent about her ex. It’s intended to be constructive and help other women.
If you’re wondering if a podcast about divorce is necessary, or helpful, I can tell you confidently that yes, it is.
I was also on a divorce podcast last year. The response from listeners was beyond satisfying; they felt seen, they felt less alone and they even felt hopeful at a vulnerable time.
I was able to contribute to their lives in that small way without bagging my ex; and going by the first episode of Divorce Story, Thorburn clearly plans to do the same.
Which, for those so concerned about one woman’s next career move, is good for her three kids. Even though I doubt very much they’ve been living in a bubble until now.
They’re kids who have seen things. They’ve heard things. They’ve been online.
If anything, they’re going to look at their mum and see a woman who didn’t expect life to turn out like it did, but is embracing its unexpected turns and now sharing her wisdom with others.
In the pubic narrative, Cassandra Thorburn is redefining herself. She’s not ‘Karl Stefanovic’s scorned ex-wife’ anymore; she’s coming into the career she had before, and establishing herself as a voice for Australian women on a topic she knows well, and that statistically, many others will go through at some point.
And even though I wake up with Karl, I’m giving major respect to that.
Nama Winston is a columnist for RendezView.com.au