Tim Blair: Climate protests declining around the globe

The quality of climate protests is sadly declining around the globe, so much so that they are being out-protested by Dutch demo debutant farmers, writes Tim Blair.

The recent quality of climate protests is gravely disappointing. As someone who follows these events with great interest, I’m deeply underwhelmed.

For example, since the federal election we’ve barely seen any Friday school strikes at all. Australia’s reliance on coal and gas is just as it was when Scott Morrison was Prime Minister, so where are the concerned Sydney schoolgirls with their freshly drawn anti-Albanese posters?

Why, it’s almost as though the climate movement is more political than it is environmental.

As well, there seems to be a lack of focus among climate protesters worldwide. Temperature activists have lately taken to gluing themselves to paintings in British art ­galleries.

Protesters march through Sydney's CBD on George Street disrupting the traffic as part of Blockade Australia protests in June. Picture: NCA NewsWire / Jeremy Piper

To be precise, they glue themselves to the frames surrounding the paintings and then simply stand there wearing “Just Stop Oil” shirts. This presents only a minor inconvenience, if any, to gallery attendees – many of whom are likely to be on the same ideological team as the protesters.

In France, climate activists are still gluing themselves to streets. When this happens in Australia, police block traffic and take a ridiculous amount of time carefully detaching the activists before they’re taken to court and given no serious punishment.

Climate activist group Blockade Australia stage a protest in Sydney on June 28. Picture: AAP Image/Flavio Brancaleone

French gendarmes favour more ­direct methods.

A viral video clip last month showed a Parisian cop yanking protesters’ hands from a road. One young woman briefly winced, but the bloke next to her put on the full ankle-tapped soccer player act, screaming and wailing as though his arms had been fed into a woodchipper.

Jacques, a French-speaking Daily Telegraph reader, translated the exchange between activist and lawman:

Activist: “You’ve hurt my hand! ARRRGH!”

Lawman: “Tell your mum. You’re under arrest.”

That’s the spirit. Elsewhere, climate activists briefly halted the Tour de France and invaded the track during the British Grand Prix.

Police officers disperse a protestor during the Blockade Australia protest in Sydney in June. Picture: AAP Image/Flavio Brancaleone

Way to go, heroes. You’re stopping bicycles and a sport with champions such as Sebastian Vettel and Lewis Hamilton, who are even more ­climate-wimpy than you.

Incidentally, to get an idea of how badly things could have turned out for those Grand Prix protesters, just look up “Frederik Jansen van Vuuren”. Formula One cars aren’t soft.

If our weather-worried friends are aiming for danger, they should stop gluing themselves to paintings and instead glue themselves to panthers. I’m thinking specifically of Penrith Panthers star Viliame Kikau, who probably wouldn’t mind carrying around a few kilos of idiot for a while.

In fact, he might not even notice. Or, the better to commune with nature, maybe an Extinction Rebellionist could attach himself to an actual panther. There’s got to be one in a zoo somewhere, and they’d no doubt appreciate some company on a cold winter evening.

Or a midnight snack. Either way, nature wins.

Protesters walking through Hyde Park towards William Street in the CBD to protest against Climate action in Sydney. Picture NCA Newswire/ Gaye Gerard.

Danger comes in many forms. My podcast mate Nick Cater was recently chatting with the manager of a caravan park in the coal territory town of Bowen, Queensland. The fellow told of two anti-coal activists who’d returned to the park one night looking a little the worse for wear.

They claimed to have been beaten up by some of the townsfolk. “Which hotel were you drinking at?” the caravan park manager asked. “We weren’t at the pub,” they replied. “We were chained to the railway tracks.”

At least they stuck it out for a while, unlike those Blockade Australia pillows. They’d been talking up their massive June disruption campaign all year, but then quit after just a few days and 23 arrests.

“We have made the hard choice,” they announced, “to end the mobilisation and wait until next time when we are bigger and stronger.”

It’s going to be a long wait, then. Meanwhile, these professional protesters are being absolutely schooled by European farmers who’ve never previously protested in their lives.

Protesters march through Sydney’s CBD disrupting the traffic as part of Blockade Australia protests in June. Picture: NCA NewsWire / Jeremy Piper

Dutch farmers sprayed pig manure on government offices a week or so ago after the government announced an obscene plan to close farms in order to cut climate emissions.

Then the Dutch – joined by farmers from other European nations – used tractors to block highways and borders, in the manner of Canadian truckers who swarmed Ottawa earlier this year.

Both the Dutch and the Canadian protests won a great deal of public support. This will never be the case for our disruptive climate types.

That’s because they’re anti-people, as was made clear earlier this month during a climate protest outside Washington DC.

Protesters marching through the CBD on Macquarie Street towards William Street in the CBD to protest climate action in Sydney. Picture NCA Newswire/ Gaye Gerard.

A bunch of activists blocking a highway were approached by a man who explained that if he was late for work, he’d be in violation of his parole conditions.

He asked to be let through. The protesters didn’t budge. “One lane, I’m asking one lane,” the fellow begged. “I’m going to jail for what you’re doing.” The poor bloke was eventually arrested by Maryland State Troopers, and presumably ended up back in the slammer.

Of course, the most effective way to cause traffic gridlock in Sydney is the same way we’ve all been doing it for decades. Just get a house in the suburbs and drive to work every day. See you on the M4, babies.