“We need to include men in the conversation about childbirth,” says expert
Childbirth expert and author Lucy Bloom says pregnancy and birth is not just women’s business.
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Childbirth expert and trained doula Lucy Bloom is adamant – men should be involved throughout the pregnancy of their partners and also, the birth of their children. End of story.
Lucy, the author of Cheers to Childbirth and creator of the program Beer and Bubs, says generally speaking men badly want to be involved in the pregnancy and birth process, but often their attempts to get involved are rebuffed and they’re left out entirely.
That can be devastating for dads. It also sees mothers miss out on valuable support and Lucy, who lives in Coogee, would like to see that change.
She came to this conclusion after attending a birth in which the soon-to-be father was desperate to help his partner but unable to do so.
“I was working as a doula, or childbirth support person, and at the very first birth I ever attended the dad really wanted to be involved,” says Lucy.
“He badly wanted to do a ‘good job’, but he had no idea what he was doing or even how to be of help in a practical sense.
He had gone to a support person’s workshop but they hadn’t briefed him properly, not really. He was like a bunny in the headlights.”
The event made it clear to Lucy that men needed to be instructed about their role in pregnancy and birth and in a very tailored way that spoke directly to them as man and dads. This is where her book Cheers To Childbirth, comes in.
“Men were left out of the conversation when it came to preparing for birth,” says Lucy.
“Women buy books and read them cover to cover and then they give the book to their partners but they’re written for the women … not the men.”
Cheers To Childbirth is quite different.
There’s no ‘fluff’ as Lucy describes it.
There’s no medical jargon, no cross sectional diagrams of the birth canal. What there is some very straight talk and in very direct language.
And this is what men need if theory are of to be of support during what has long been thought-of as strictly women’s business, says Lucy.
“They have no idea what to expect,” she says.
“So I explain that. I explain how women behave very differently when giving birth, that they switch over to their primal brain. They’re like cave women. If you don’t know that’s coming it’s a shock.”
And men who are in shock or often of very little help to women attempting to give birth which impacts everyone involved.
“They have no idea what to expect, what to do, what not to do, what to say, not to say,” says Lucy.
“They often don’t know where to stand or even really understand what’s happening.”
But if men did not have more understanding of the process then they could be of more support and also enjoy what can otherwise be a frightening event.
“If you have a good handle on what’s going on during pregnancy and birth it’s exciting,” she explains.
“This book is designed to ensure there’s less fear, more confidence. Who doesn’t want that.”
Cheers to Childbirth includes plenty of first-person stories and anecdotes from real-life Australian dads.
There’s also information on how to manage immediately after birth, in the coming days, weeks and months too.
Cheers to Childbirth – A Dad’s Guide to Childbirth Support is available here
