Keegan May’s victim speaks out about being a survivor of domestic violence and getting help

A woman who was beaten with a pole and urinated on, as the abusive relationship she’d endured for years escalated, has spoken about the ordeal, the early warning signs and how she got out.

A woman who was beaten with a pole and urinated on, as the abusive relationship she’d endured for years escalated, has spoken out about the ordeal, the early warning signs and how she broke free.

She has told others enduring a similar horror to: “speak up because there is help out there”.

The 42-year-old professional works in the social services sector in northern NSW and owns her own home.

She described how her new partner Keegan May came to live with her just over two years ago and was at first “charming, caring and loving” sending her links to love songs or photos of flowers.

“So you have this battle in your own mind - ‘is he just having a bad day’ - and you question yourself,” she said.

Controlling behaviour early in their relationship could almost be confused as caring or flattering, she said, however there was soon no mistake about it.

“He wanted to know where I was all the time so I started sending him photos of where I was to prove it,” she said.
“Once he appeared behind me at a drive through and followed me home.”

Keegan May. Picture: Facebook.

Horror incident outlined in court

She was shocked and initially angered to read the details of the horrific incident, which would trigger her moves to break free and seek justice, published in a Daily Telegraph court report.

On February 26, May was sentenced to eight months in prison with a six month non-parole after pleaded guilty to stalking and intimidating, assault occasioning actual bodily harm and destroying property.

The 30-year-old will first eligible for release on April 11 this year.

“I’m nervous for when he gets out,” she said.

The charges related to a shocking incident on September 25. The couple fought at home, before she went to bed, only to be woken up by May, 30, urinating on her.

They continued to fight and May grabbed a metal wardrobe hanger pole and struck her with it, then grabbed her by the hair and dragged her to a spare bedroom and said “that’s where the dogs sleep”.

He would later blame her injuries on “clumsy falling at the skate park” according to documents submitted to court.

She fled in her car and remembers sitting down by the river and looking up the local women’s shelter.

“But then I thought ‘what am I doing? - stand your ground’ and I went back and he had set the carpet on fire,” she said.

After scrambling to put the flames out she got a few hours sleep and was woken again with May urinating on her.

What’s for dinner?

After laying low for a few weeks, May returned and simply acted like nothing had happened.

“He asked ‘what’s for dinner?’ so I cooked dinner and we ate in silence,” the victim said.

Over the following weeks she tried to bring up the incident and tell him it was unacceptable but every time he became more aggravated.

“After days of calm I came home and he was trimming his beard and when I came into the bathroom he grabbed my hair and started chopping at it,” she said.

At this point she said things went blurry and she went into a kind of “shutdown” mode.

She pushed him away and jumped into the shower then told him calmly she was going to the shops.

Instead she drove down the road and called the police. As she waited for them to arrive in the street she was terrified May would come out and find her.

They soon arrived and arrested him.

“They probably saved my life - I can’t fault the police and what they’ve done for me, they’ve been amazing - every single one of them,” she said.

A northern NSW woman who was beaten with a pole and urinated on, as the abusive relationship she’d endured for years escalated, has spoken out about the ordeal, the early warning signs and of how she broke free, telling others enduring a similar horror to: “speak up because there is help out there”.

Shock reaction as news spreads

As friends and work colleagues heard of May’s sentence and the shocking details of his crimes were revealed, she struggled with the familiar feeling that so many domestic violence victims struggle with - shame.

“In my line of work you’d think I’d be smart enough and strong enough not to put myself in this situation but it builds up so gradually that eventually it’s bigger than you realise,” she said.

She has reconnected with old friends, from whom May had isolated her, and consulted with colleagues before sharing her story.

“I want people to know they can speak up and be brave because there is help - it’s hard and scary - but don’t feel shame and don’t blame yourself because it’s not a reflection on you.”

Hopes he can be a “better person”

Despite her ordeal she has hopes May can be rehabilitated.

“I care about him, I want him to be a better person - be a happy person,” she said.

She says he will find it very hard in jail as he is not a social person and struggles with confined spaces.

“I am concerned for him being in jail and I could see how it could worsen his mental health but I am more concerned about the risk he poses to women in the community.”

She also feels deeply for May’s mother, shedding tears imagining how she felt at her son’s sentencing.

“She’s tried so hard with him.”

One silver lining

She has been overwhelmed with the response from friends and work colleagues.

“They’ve apologised for not recognising it - they’ve shown me true love and you can get that from a friendship,” she said.

“What I was seeking in him I was never going to find and if there’s a silver lining in any of this, it’s that I’ve reconnected with some really beautiful people.”

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