Single in Sydney: Sarah reads mean tweets

SARAH tells how she has received Twitter and Facebook comments that range from the vile to the ridiculous. She decides to share them because she says she doesn’t care.

JOURNALIST Sarah Swain has been single (but dating) for longer than she cares to remember. That’s because it’s tough out there, as any single will tell you, so to bring hope to others across the city, she’s sharing her no-holds-barred adventures on the Sydney single scene every week.

DON’T FEED THE TROLLS

We need to talk about trolls.

Yes, just like American TV host Jimmy Kimmel’s Mean Tweets segment, where he gets stars from Margot Robbie to Hugh Grant to read out the nasty things people have said about them, I want to bring my haters out of the darkened rooms it which most of them sit. In their Y fronts. So I can share them with you.

You see, since I became Single in Sydney last year, from Twitter trolls to those who comment below this column — I’ve had them all.

MARGOT Robbie reads mean tweets.

From being accused of being too fussy (I’m not) to being told I’ve “made it clear I’m looking for a rich bloke” (nope), to being told men don’t want women like me because (sic) “if you slept around your entire 20s and now want to settle down we dont want you your used goods”, they range from the vile to the ridiculous.

I’ve even a troll I’ve had block on both Facebook and Twitter.

He likes to write: “You’re the problem, not the environment. F*** off with your stupid Single In Sydney Column”

Repeatedly.

And yet he also ‘superliked’ me on Tinder. Yes

And something almost all of the comments have in common?

They’re from men.

I mean, one lovely lady did comment on one column, telling me that the bloke I noted was on his phone our whole date probably did it “to avoid your eye rolling and incessant self promotion”.

Mean tweets? Don’t make me laugh.

And I’ve been told I’m “a bit fat”, I’m “not a perfect 10” (never claimed to be) and I’m “shallow wanting someone who is ‘hot”.

And there’s another guy who, ever since I wrote about being on holiday in Bali, has started a campaign to send me back.

He writes: “Please go back to Bali, Sydney men don’t want you, and “God, Sarah! Go back to Bali and stay there!”

Every. Single. Week.

When I wrote about how I was going on a “man ban” one troll gleefully wrote “lets declare a Sarah Swain ban” and was egged on.

Yes, they sometimes like to have chats among themselves, too.

“Perhaps the problem is not with the blokes.” said one.

“Damn Straight Dane, that’s the first thing that popped in to my mind, I just hope she reads our comments, she would get a shock at what people actually think,” replied another.

Another chipped in: “to true (sic), there’s a very good reason people are single for that long ... they’re not very nice to be around”.

Host Jimmy Kimmel. Picture: AFP PHOTO / Valerie Macon

I’m not even going to defend myself. It’s just not worth it.

And I know I shouldn’t read them.

But it’s a bit like knowing there’s a Marcs sample sale on across the road from my house.

I know it’ll be bad for me, but I just can’t help taking a peek.

Usually on the fast ferry after a couple of post-work drinks on a Friday.

But, to be honest, while it stings a bit, I don’t care.

Everybody from Stephen Fry, who closed his Twitter, and Rebel Wilson, who shut off her Instagram comments, have been targeted by trolls.

And of course cyber-bullying can be a huge issue for regular people too — especially children.

It’s a crime, too.

Stephen Fry stopped using Twitter because of trolls. Picture: Stuart C. Wilson/Getty Images

And I did some research as to just why these blokes do it — and it’s generally blokes, according to psychologist Prof Mark Griffiths

”Boredom, revenge and amusement,” are the main reasons.

It’s even got a fancy name: the “online disinhibition effect.”

The theory is that the moment you shed your identity, the usual constraints on your behaviour go, too.

And do you know what? I’ve actually had some nice comments too

One guy I went on a couple of dates with jumped to defend me once.

He said, “She is gorgeous, charming, funny, chatty, and can drink. (not sure what to think about that last bit).

Actor Gerrard Butler reads mean tweets on Jimmy Kimmel Live.

But my favourite comment actually came on my very first column, from a guy called Robert.

He told me: “Be careful — the more one chases — the less likely you are to find what you are after — just calm down — and that butterfly will come and rest on your shoulder — all the best.”

Report cybercrime at acorn.gov.au