Barney Wakes-Miller: Leanne Shanahan urges grieving northern beaches friends to get help
A mum who lost her son in a car crash five years ago is calling for northern beaches parents to check on the welfare of their children following the death of a popular 17-year-old.
Manly
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A mother who lost her son in a road accident five years ago is urging parents of children who knew Barney Wakes-Miller to get them professional help if they show signs they aren’t coping.
The popular St Augustine’s student was killed in a car crash at Elanora Heights last weekend.
Barney, 17, of Oxford Falls, was a passenger in a Holden Commodore station wagon car with five friends when it left Caladenia Cl in Elanora Heights and hit a sandstone and wrought iron fence, at 11.20pm on Saturday.
Now Leanne Shanahan, of Warriewood, who lost her son Luke, 21, in an accident in 2015 has made an impassioned plea for his mates to get help.
She said the news of Barney’s death had broken her heart all over again, and said like her own son’s death, Barney’s passing will be having a huge impact on many young people on the peninsula.
“The ripple effect of something like this is enormous,” she said.
“There will be children who will need counselling.
“Parents must not blame or criticise,” she said. “They’ve got to be available to talk.”
She said most young people are connected on the peninsula one way or another. “On the northern beaches every one is Facebook friends with everyone,” she said.
“They all know each other.”
Justene Gordon from the Avalon Youth Hub said social media ensured many hundreds if not thousands of young people knew about Barney’s tragic death.
She said those directly involved in the accident could develop survivor’s guilt.
“Some might not need support right now, but in the coming months or even years,” she said.
Ms Gordon said others will be impacted just be hearing about it on social media.
She said parents should be aware of signs such as their children not being able to sleep, if they are not wanting to eat or they are having unhealthy thoughts.
Counsellors have been made available to pupils at St Augustine’s College at Brookvale, where he was a Year 11 student.
Ms Shanahan’s son Luke died along with mates Lachlan Burleigh, 17, and Ben Sawyer, 19 who were passengers in the car of Jordan Baker, who was 18 when it happened, and who fell asleep at the wheel on the way back from a festival.
The then 18-year-old P-plater from Freshwater is serving a minimum four and a half year jail sentence for three counts of driving under the influence occasioning the deaths of his mates. He had taken ecstasy.
Ms Shanahan said the fallout from the three deaths was enormous.
In the weeks after the accident, Lifeline was called in to help support many young people struggling to cope with the loss of their friends, marriages ended, and businesses and careers fell apart.
Ms Shanahan said she found support from her sisters and also from a group The Compassionate Friends — a worldwide organisation.
Two years ago Ms Shanahan decided to set up a local branch.
She said in the days to come she would be reaching out to Barney’s parents to see if they wanted to connect.
“My heart breaks for the whole family,” Ms Shanahan said.
“When something like this happens on the northern beaches it’s too close to home for me.
“It makes me feel sick.”
She said while her thoughts are with Barney’s family, she also felt very sorry for the parents of the driver and the other passengers in the car and Barney’s friends.
Ms Shanahan said while she was getting on with her life five years after Luke’s death, she lives in a “paranoid world” where she worries about the safety of her 21-year-old daughter all the time.
“I miss Luke hugely,” she said.
“When something happens like this, it brings it all back.
“It is horrible to think of another family going through this.”
Lifeline 13 11 14.
For information on Ms Shanahan’s group go to compassionatefriendsnsw.org.au