Siblings Christine Forster and Tony Abbott are opposed in Australia’s same sex marriage debate

CHRISTINE Forster dreams of the day she can marry her same sex partner Virginia Edwards. But her brother Tony Abbott has vowed to make sure she never can.

Virginia Edwards and Christine Forster at home in Surry Hills Picture: Danny Aarons

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WHEN it comes to disagreeing about religion and politics, many families have an understanding: don’t bring it to the dinner table.

But for Christine Forster, a Liberal City of Sydney councillor and gay activist, and her brother, former prime minister Tony Abbott, it’s much more complicated.

In the past week, the country has watched the pair publicly disagree on one of the most contentious topics of the last decade – same sex marriage – engaging deliberately in a debate which, for some, has become mired in emotional rhetoric.

“Because I’m on the opposite side of the fence to somebody who’s a member of my family, it’s quite personal, there’s some emotional baggage that comes along with it,” Cr Forster said.

“It’s not just as simple as, ‘Oh I’m having a political fight with someone’.”

Tony Abbott pictured with his sister Christine Forster in 2012.

Cr Forster and her longtime partner Virginia Edwards have “always been caught up in the political process of it” because of her connection to Mr Abbott and are used to, somewhat reluctantly, being at the forefront of the debate. Cr Forster and Ms Edwards have themselves been engaged for four years.

So while a ‘yes’ vote would mean the couple could finally get married, for them the way forward is clear: take the emotion out of it and move on with the issue.

In some ways this is easy to do.

Mr Abbott’s social media ‘no’ campaign didn’t come as a surprise as “he’s a consummate political campaigner and it looks like, from what we’ve seen this week, he’s going to be the main voice of opposition,” Cr Forster said.

So while Cr Forster responded “quite deliberately and quite publicly” to Mr Abbott’s comments as it “cuts to the heart of (mine and Virginia’s) relationship”, the Coalition’s proposed postal vote on the issue provides “an opportunity to have a seminal moment, a nation-defining decision,” she said.

“There will always be people who express extreme views at both sides of this argument – but the reality is, as a country, we can only embrace the change and bring that majority along.

“If we can’t go through that process and achieve that then, whatever the outcome, nobody will think it’s worthwhile.”

Virginia Edwards and partner City of Sydney Liberal councillor Christine Forster. Picture: Danny Aarons

Even for Ms Edwards, who “is a far more emotional person than Christine and I get more fired up than she does,” the larger conversation needs to be the focus.

“It’s not Tony Abbott versus Christine Forster … we are just a vehicle for the conversation, so let’s take the emotion out of it,” Ms Edwards said.

The pair are like any family, with diverse opinions, and represent conversations going on around the country, she said.

Diverse indeed — as while Ms Edwards family, including her daughter, will be voting yes, Ms Forster’s family is split with herself and one of her younger sisters the only ones to vote in favour of same sex marriage. Along with Mr Abbott, her other sister and parents will not be supporting the change.

Ms Edwards labelled arguments around same sex marriage being a result of political correctness or proving a threat to freedom of religion as “scaremongering”.

Virginia Edwards campaigning with partner and liberal candidate Christine Forster at Bourke St Public School during the 2016 local government election. Picture: Adam Taylor

“I think the country is ready to move on,” Ms Edwards said.

The importance of conferring the status of married onto same sex relationships is important as “it’s not a civil union, it’s not a de facto, it’s not a secondary term,” she said.

“It’s about validation of our relationship, it’s about our relationship being given the same status, the same legal recognition as other people’s relationship,” Cr Forster said.

“It doesn’t impact anyone to give away rights, it doesn’t diminish their own rights,” she said.

So while remaining diametrically opposed – “I can’t shift Tony, and he can’t shift me,” Cr Forster said – the lines of communication remain open.

Cr Forster remains hopeful for “a resounding yes, a clear decision that, yes, people support this,” which if achieved would see people “dancing along Bourke St,” she said.