Children learn best from doing things themselves

IT’S tempting to step in and do things for your kids because it’s easier and faster than letting them do it themselves. Here’s why you probably shouldn’t.

Parents can be invaluable teachers, but sometimes kids learn better on their own.

THE question that is often asked of children ahead of starting kindergarten is whether they can tie a shoelace, pack their bag and open their own lunch box.

This is an indication of the level of their independence.

Young people feel good about themselves when they know they can do something or deal with something when adults aren’t around.

Developing young people’s capabilities means they are better able to cope with new situations and face challenges when they arise.

A five year old Australian school boy crossing the car park safely.

Understandably, giving children greater responsibility can be difficult. It is often easier and faster for parents to tie their child’s shoelaces, pack their sports bags and make their school lunches.

Parents are also exposed to much more stuff, particularly via social media, and this can lead to parents feeling a greater need to protect their children.

The long-term effect is the more we do for children now, the less they will be able to do for themselves later on. When it comes time for young people to step out on their own, they will struggle to do simple things like wash clothes, cook a meal and manage their finances.

Experts say we need to go back to basics by teaching young people how to do things rather than provide reasons why they can’t do it.

doing the job for them might not be helpful in the long run.

I am not suggesting parents ignore their duty of care. Far from it. All parents need to make a judgment about what age their child can walk home from school alone or play at a park unsupervised.

However, being a responsible parent doesn’t mean taking responsibility away from young people either. Rather, it means recognising that the best way for a child to learn something is to do it for themselves and then continue at it until they can do it well.

The great Italian educator Maria Montessori hit the nail on the head when she said “adults should never help a child with a task the child could succeed at on their own”. Sometimes we need to bring the child’s perspective (of letting go) into our thinking instead of wanting to keep a firm grasp on the apron strings.